Perfect.
I could corner her in here.
“You don’t want to talk about it. You didn’t want to talk about it back then, either, and look where it got us.”
Her legs bumped into the bed and she fell back.
“But we’re not eighteen anymore, and we’re not gonna act like it either. So we’re going to talk about this, and we’re going to do it now.”
She folded her arms and looked up at me. “We are, we are?”
“Either way, I’m talking, and you’re going to listen.”
She looked out of the windows like a petulant child. Amusement flickered inside me. She was only doing that because I was being heavy handed, and if there was anything that Holley Stuart hated, it was being told what to do.
“I’m sorry I did it. I’m sorry I didn’t take enough time to make sure it was you. I’m sorry I waited as long as I did to try to tell you the truth about how I felt. And I’m sorry I didn’t force you into listening to me back then.”
“Like you are now?” She looked up at me with defiance in her eyes.
I fought back a laugh. “You don’t have to like it, but you’re gonna listen to me. I don’t give a damn if you don’t say a word, Holley, but you’re going to listen to what I have to say and you’re going to accept it as truth, because that’s what it is.”
Her expression didn’t change.
Steely-eyed, closed-mouthed, cheek-flushed.
God, she was so frustratingly beautiful.
“My biggest regret is never telling you the truth. That, and apparently making you feel like you mattered so little to me that you thought I’d honestly hurt you in that way.”
Her nostrils flared. “I never thought that.”
I leaned forward, resting my hands either side of her body on the bed. She leaned back as my face came close to hers, drawing in a deep breath.
“Then why didn’t you listen to me when I wanted to talk to you?”
“Because,” she said in a voice that was decidedly softer than before. “I was young. I was stupid, I was angry, and I was hurt. It was easier to avoid the conversation, because I just knew you were going to tell me something that would hurt me more.”
“But I wasn’t.”
“I know that now, don’t I?” She rested her hands behind her and turned her attention back to the window where it was now lightly snowing outside. “But you still would have left. Even if we had been honest with each other and decided to try, we were so young and dumb that it never would have worked. You would have left, got signed by the Bears, and become everyone’s hero.”
“Except yours.”
“I don’t want you to be my hero, Sebastian.”
“But I want to be, and I will be.”
She shook her head, a tiny little jerk that accompanied a disbelieving huff of air. “We’re not eighteen anymore. We’re not friends. I’m glad I know the truth, and I thank you for telling me, but it’s over. It’s done. The sooner you realize that—”
“Then what? I’ll leave you alone?” I cupped her chin and forced her head around so she was looking at me again. Unless I was a mistaken, she shivered the moment her eyes met mine. “You think I’ll give up trying to be a part of your life? That I’ll let you walk away tomorrow and never speak to you again?”
“A girl can hope.”
“You don’t want that. Face it, Holley; you didn’t have to drive up here yesterday. I didn’t make you. Nobody made you get in your car and come here and keep your word to me.”
She blinked up at me.
“You did that. All by yourself.”
“I promised—”
“Bullshit. Bull. Shit.” I dipped my face closer to hers and, this time, she didn’t back away. “You could have made up any dumbass excuse and my sister wouldn’t have said a damn thing, and you know it. You drove up here because you wanted to know. You can sit there and tell me that it’s over, that it’s done, that I need to move on because you have, but both you and I know that’s a truck load of absolute shit. You came here because you wanted to, and that’s all there is to it.”
Pink colored her cheeks. “Fine. I wanted to know. I realized I was stupid back then and I wanted to know the truth, and I thought this was the only way you’d tell me, so I came.”
“It was the only way you’d listen,” I corrected her. “It’s the only place you can’t run from me.”
“Well, now I know.” She paused. “So there. It’s fine. It’s done. We can move on now.”
“It’s not fine,” I said, the tip of my nose almost touching hers now. “It’s not fine, and it’s not done, and it’s not over. But we can move on.”