I'm not stupid enough to even look at Linc as a potential love interest. My walls are still firmly in place and I don't expect I'll be letting them down again. Twice burned, and all that. But the young and sexually curious part of me is looking at Linc differently.
Yes, it bugs the crap out of me. And frustrates me. And confuses me.
Last night, after we ate dinner, Linc informed me that he had to go out for a bit. He didn't invite me to go with him and I didn't ask where he went. The fact that he didn't invite me, particularly when he seems to want me with him at every other moment in the day, leads me to believe he was going out on a date. Which in my mind equates to sex.
And yes, that bugs the crap out of me, too.
I stand from my chair and Linc looks at me questioningly.
"I'm going to go talk to Emily," I tell him and he just nods, turning his attention back to Congressman Burnham.
Emily had walked out of the room a bit ago, followed by Nix. I assume she's still around as she didn't bother with telling anyone goodbye.
It doesn't take me long to find her. She and Nix are standing in the lobby, their arms wrapped around each other in a hug. Her face is buried in the crook of his neck and his chin is resting on top of her head. They look utterly content with one another, an emotion I am not in the slightest bit jealous over.
Nope! Committed relationships are for suckers and fools.
As I walk up to them, I know I'm intruding on something personal, but I need to take this opportunity to tell Emily that I'm sorry for what I did.
She sees me as I approach and pulls away from Nix. Her look is not welcoming but it is resigned to talking to me. Nix turns to see me and leans down to whisper something in her ear. He gives her a kiss on the temple, shoots me a wink and then leaves.
Emily crosses her arms over her chest and says, "How could you do that, Ever?"
"I know. It was awful. I'm awful. And I'm so sorry I did that."
I'm taken aback when she practically hisses at me. "Sorry isn't good enough. I trusted you with my family and you abused that. You of all people know what it's like to have a friend abuse your trust."
I don't know what to say to that. She's talking about my friend Kelli sleeping with Marc. It's apples and oranges...the two scenarios, but the abuse of trust is the same. I know exactly how she feels right now.
"Lay off of her, Emily. She said she's sorry."
I spin around and see Linc behind me. He's glaring at Emily and I'm shocked into further silence. Linc is the last person that should be speaking up for me.
"Fine," Emily huffs. "But if she screws you over a second time, don't come whining to me."
Emily walks away without another word to me. I can feel tears prickling in my eyes and I blink several times to push them back. I never once considered how my actions would affect Emily and I'm kicking myself right now.
Linc lays his hand on my shoulder. It's comforting and I have no right to be seeking that feeling from him. "Don't worry about Emily. She'll cool down."
I look into his eyes and they are filled with kindness. Kindness that I don't really deserve and I am immediately suspicious. "Why are you being so nice to me?"
Linc squeezes my shoulder and laughs. "I'm not really. I just don't want to give you any reason to write a bad article about me. It's not good for my image. Now come on...let's go get some lunch."
Linc turns to walk toward the elevator but I grab his hand to stop him. He reflexively squeezes mine back. My skepticism has now morphed into utter confusion over this man. "Seriously. Why are you being nice to me? I don't deserve it."
He tilts his head at me in sincere curiosity. "Why don't you think you deserve it?"
"Because of what I did to you. I'm the last person in the world you should be nice to."
He looks at me with patience...like I'm a child almost. "Did you apologize to me?"
"Yes."
"Were you truly sorry?"
"Yes."
"Are you putting forth an honest effort to get to know the real me?"
"Yes...but--"
"Well then...why shouldn't I be nice to you? I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt, why don't you do the same for me?"
I feel a little of the guilt that I've been harboring ease up in my chest. His words are so simple, yet they have a major impact on me. A smile overtakes my face, one that I am powerless to hold back.
He answers me with a smile of his own, but it is different than mine. It actually looks predatory in nature, like the way I imagine a lion would smile when it realizes it's captured the gazelle. My insides squirm. Linc steps in close to me, so his next words are for my ears alone. "Your smile would bring a lesser man to his knees. But if you wore your glasses and smiled at me like that, it would topple me."
Linc is teasing me, I know it. But I can't help the heat that floods through my body at those words. That same heat has flooded my face and I'm sure he's taken stock of my reaction. The downside to being so pale is that it is painfully obvious when I'm embarrassed.
Before I can even think of what to say, we are interrupted.
"Linc? Is that you?"
We turn to see a young, pretty nurse in pink scrubs walking toward us. Linc steps back from me slightly but doesn't release my hand. "Hey, Monica."
She offers me a smile and turns to Linc. "Are you here to see Kyle? He's having a bad day and you will certainly brighten it."
"Actually, I was here to see someone else but I'll stop by his room and check on him. Thanks."
"Sure thing," she says and then walks off, glancing back at him once and smiling flirtatiously.
I look to Linc questioningly.
"Do you mind if we make a quick stop before we leave?" he asks.
I shake my head and Linc leads me to the elevators, still holding my hand. My head tells me to pull it away but I'm enjoying the warmth and feel of it. I also couldn't help but notice the way the perky, nurse Monica looked at Linc, and it made me feel nice that Linc was not acknowledging that look.
And just as soon as I have that thought, I mentally chastise myself. That's exactly the type of thinking that led me to fall for Marc. Feelings of security and self-worth parceled out to me by a man pretending to love me. I quickly pull my hand out of Linc's grip and he doesn't say a word about it.
Linc takes us to the fourth floor and when we get off, it looks like we stepped into Disney World. The walls are painted bright colors and adorned with cartoon characters. Even the floors are painted with bright flowers, butterflies and birds. All of the nurses walking by are wearing colorful scrubs, many covered with the same cartoon characters that grace the walls. I even see one nurse walking by wearing a red clown nose.
Obviously, we are on the children's ward.
Most of the nurses and even some doctors that we pass say hello to Linc. He's definitely not a stranger here and that has got my reporter's curiosity raging. I watch as he walks up to the nurse's station and reaches over the counter to grab something. He acts as if he owns the place. His hand pulls back and he's holding two red balls.
He hands me one with a grin and takes the other, putting it on his nose. I can't help but laugh at him.
"Red and bulbous is not really my style. Do you have something else?" I ask.
He takes the red ball from me and reaches back behind the counter, pulling out a pair of black rimmed glasses with a large nose and mustache attached.
I take them and put them on. "There. That's more my style."
"You know how I like it when you wear glasses." And once again my insides are warmed by his words.
Idiot!
Linc leads me down a hall. No one looks funny at us for the props we are wearing. He enters a room and I follow, a little curious and a little nervous as to what I will see.
Inside is a little boy, maybe ten years old. He is pale and thin...his body frail with sickness. His bald head has a few thin wisps of hair still sticking out. His eyes are looking at the TV but they are dull and lifeless.
But then the boy sees Linc and a sparkle immediately appears.
"Linc!" the boy shouts as he struggles to sit up in the bed. "What are you doing here? You were just here last night."
Last night? That's where Linc went? I can't help but wonder why he didn't tell me, or even invite me along.
Linc crosses to the bed and helps the boy sit up. "Hey buddy! I had to come to the hospital to see a friend of mine and thought I'd pop over to say hi. Monica said you're having a rough day?"
The little boy nods. "Yeah. I'm not feeling so hot."
Linc looks over to me. "Kyle...this is my friend, Ever."
"Hey, Kyle," I say as I walk to the edge of the bed. I recognize the ravages of cancer and focus in on the green tinge to his face. "I'm pleased to meet you. Feeling a little nauseous today?"
He nods.
"How about I go get you some ginger ale? Sound good?"
He nods again, staring at me. I turn around to the sink and grab a washcloth. I run it under cool water and wring it out. Placing it gently across his forehead, I say, "That should help a little. My mom was sick for a while and she seemed to like that."
"That feels good. Thanks."
"Sure thing, buddy. I'll just go get that ginger ale for you."