Off Season (Off 5.5)

So I spent the last four days trying to figure out how to respond to him.

At my core, what I really wanted to do was pull on my meager savings account and hop the first flight to the States. I figured in less than twenty-four hours, I could fly to Phoenix and be in his bed, experiencing the same amazing chemistry resulting in the same astounding ecstasy I had with him before.

But that wasn't practical, and when it boils right down to it, it wouldn't be anything more than a long-distance, not to mention expensive, booty call. We both very much enjoyed each other, and I'll go ahead and lay it out on the line... it was the best sex I've ever had in my entire life. But great sex, long distance, and flirty emails don't really equate to anything.

It's still completely unworkable. When I realized that for the truth it is, it made me unbelievably sad and dejected. Because, unfortunately, Zane Kavanaugh pushes every one of my buttons, and I'm not sure anyone else will ever be able to compare.

Regardless... I need to maneuver our conversations back to a more friendly level and leave the sexual banter and memories behind.

So, remember when I last wrote that Teagan and I were going out for drinks? Well, that little bitch surprised me by bringing her co-worker she wanted to set me up with. His name is Colin, and he's a nice guy. Once I got over being mad at Teagan for springing him on me, I actually enjoyed my time out. So much so that I agreed to go out to dinner with him this upcoming weekend.

I'm hopeful I'm going to fall into that 4% of women that have a good time. I won't comment on your 78% statistic you quoted me.

Tell me how was your vacation and the visit with your family? Did you have a good time? I'm sure you did but you know me... I want details. Share it all with me, friend.

It's getting late, and I have an early class tomorrow. Can't wait to hear from you.

Cheers,

Cady

There.

It's done.

I've managed to deflect his invitation to come visit him by telling him about Colin, and the fact that I did agree to a date with him this weekend. That should be enough to alert Zane that we really have no business considering seeing each other again. It's too impractical.

At least... I think I managed to put things back on track. I read back over the email before I send it, and I realize that it really doesn't elucidate on anything of importance. I only mentioned Colin as a means of inferring that I was moving on with my love life, which should prompt Zane to do the same.

Yet, when I think about him moving on--when I think about this stupid date I agreed to and really don't want to go on--it causes my chest to constrict for some odd reason.

I think about that night we spent with each other. An unfiltered image permeates my mind... of the first time that Zane sunk himself into me. This came on the heels of him bringing me to a blistering climax with his mouth and deftly sheathing himself with a condom before I could even catch my breath.

He's a large man... everywhere, and he filled me so completely that I could feel every nuance of his movements. He fucked me thoroughly... slowly, and murmured in my ear the entire time. Lovely endearments with just a hint of dirty talk.

Never imagined it would feel this good.

Fuck, Cady... I'm on the verge of losing control.

I'm getting ready to come... but don't think it's the end of this night. I'm already planning to fuck you from behind the next time.

I shiver as I remember the lust and passion in his voice... the surety with which he spoke and the confidence with which he played my body. He made me feel like the sexiest woman he had ever been with, and his skills as a lover had me orgasming again just as he did.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph... those memories cause me to feel warm, flushed, and out of breath.

And before I know it, I can't freaking help the stupid, stupid postscript that comes to mind. My fingers start flying over my keyboard, and I can't seem to muster up the perseverance to stop myself.

P.S.

I would love nothing more than to come visit, because yes... you sort of spoiled me with your bedroom activities. I'm not sure I'll ever have that many orgasms in such a short time period again. Yet, that can't be a good enough reason for me to forsake my schooling. I guess the memories will have to be enough. ;)

And yes... I gave him a smiling face with a wink, just so he understands that despite me having some feelings brewing inside, this is still going to be nothing more than flirtation for us.

Before I could wise up... before I could come to my senses, I hit the send button. Then, there's no taking back the fact I kept the door open to continue our sexual banter.

I'm so bad, and I'm going to suffer for it, because there won't be a damn thing I can do about it. But if I can't have the real deal with him, I guess flirting and revisiting the most sensual night of my life isn't such a hardship to bear.

My cell phone rings, jerking me from all of these thoughts about Zane and our non-relationship. I see Teagan's name flashing, and I answer.

"What's up?" I ask brusquely, still not quite ready to fully forgive her for bringing Colin to our girls' night out. While he was indeed nice, cute, and charming, I really wasn't interested in dating anyone right now. I only agreed to dinner because he caught me off guard, and I literally couldn't think of a single polite excuse to decline. So now, I'm stuck.

"Don't take that tone with me, darling," Teagan huffs and, immediately, she makes me smile. She may be a bitch half the time, and she lives her life like a crazy woman, but she's my crazy bitch and I love her.

"I'm still mad at you for bringing Colin out the other night," I sniff back. "I told you I don't want to date anyone right now."

"Yet, you agreed to go out to dinner with him," she points out.

"Only because he caught me off guard. I really don't want to go," I practically whine at her.

"So don't go," she says in a bored tone. "It's not like you'd have a good time... you know... what with you pining over Zane."

"What?" I practically shriek into the phone. "What do you mean 'pining over Zane'? I most certainly am not pining."

"Oh, please, you little brat," she says with a maniacal laugh. "Do you know how much you've been talking about him since you came back to Dublin? I've had the rundown on every single email that you've exchanged with him, and you don't even tell me the good stuff. You haven't provided one single, juicy detail of the sex you two had. Instead, I have to listen to you gush about how funny he is, and how interested he is in your life and your studies, and for fuck's sake, Cady... you even tell me what he eats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

My mouth opens to deny everything she says, but I know it's true

. I also know Teagan's been humoring me when I prattle on and on about Zane. She's humoring me because she's never seen me this interested in a man before, and she doesn't want to rain on my parade.

But I don't need her to rain on it.

I've put away my metaphorical umbrella and have let the showers pour down on me, laying heavy like a wet blanket of frustration that Zane and I will never really have anything more than a friendship, solely due to the fact that we live so far apart from each other.

Chapter 6

Zane

I read Cady's email twice, the second time feeling angrier than the first. She's seriously not going to come visit me and, worse yet, she's going out on a date with someone.

My insides twist with disappointment because I honestly thought she wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see her.

Apparently not.

To: Cady Dunne

From: Zane Kavanaugh

Subject: Don't Speak In Riddles

Date: September 16, 2014

What's going on here, Cady? I don't buy the excuse about school interfering, because you and I have emailed so much over the last few weeks that I am well versed on your schedule. I know that you have classes on Monday and Wednesday. I know that your professor for your Psychometrics class spits when he talks, so no one will sit in the front row. I know your professor for your Counseling and Theory Practice class is from Taiwan and while you believe she's brilliant, you can't be absolutely sure because you can only understand about fifty-percent of what she's saying. I know that a study you read about children with learning disabilities and the hard road they have before them in the school system made you cry one night, so you immediately put in your favorite funny movie, Happy Gilmore, to cheer you up. I know a ton about you and your schooling.

I also know you have a study group on Thursday. I know your study group meets first thing in the morning on Thursday and you are done by ten AM. I also know that you haven't missed a class yet, and I'm sure you could forego one set of classes on a Monday. So, by my reasoning, you could fly out Thursday and come back on Monday. We'd have three days together. If you absolutely must make your classes on Monday, then go back on Sunday. Two days together are better than none.