Fucking sexy as hell.
"Macy," I murmur to get her attention. I keep my hand perfectly still against her.
She opens her eyes, which are now glazed in a cloud of wanton lust. Her blue eyes stare at me, daring me to go further. She's caught up deep now.
"Do you want to talk or do you want me to make you come?" I ask her, needing her to make the final decision as to how this is going to go down between us. I know if she chooses "talk," then my chances of fucking her are slim. If she wants to come, then I know we'll talk after, and that's a win-win for both of us.
She stares at me, the tiny pulse just above her collarbone popping madly. Seeing major indecision, I silently pray for her to choose to come. I need her to choose an orgasm.
Macy takes a deep breath... lets it out slowly. She makes a choice she doesn't want to make because she's grimacing when she says, "Make me come."
Chapter 20
She doesn't try to avoid my lips anymore but rather grabs my head with one hand and pulls me toward her. We kiss fervently, every lash of my tongue against hers causing jolts of pleasure to rocket through me. I start pumping my finger in and out of her gently, intentionally keeping it slow. I don't want her to blow too fast, which is how my girl rolls when we're together.
I reluctantly let her mouth go because I need more. I rise up to my knees and pull my hand out from between her legs. I'd love to take the time to undress Macy, letting my fingers sensually caress her skin as I reveal it for my eyes. But I don't because I'm afraid if I slow things down too much, she's going to come to her senses and try to kick me out again.
Grabbing the buttoned seam of her blouse, I pull hard and rip it open. A few buttons go flying but most just pop free of their holes. She has on a lacy, white bra with scalloped edges, and it looks virginally sweet. After a quick study, I see the clasp is in the back, so I make do by pulling the material down and exposing her breasts.
"God, I miss these," I say reverently before leaning down and taking a nipple in my mouth. I lave at it gently, give it a tiny suck, and then nip at it with my teeth. Macy cries out, clasping my head to her chest.
Man, I'm so fucking horny right now that I have to resist the urge drive in deep. It's only been a few days since we've made love, but it feels like an eternity. I slide my way down her body, pressing kisses to her stomach. Bypassing the material of her skirt now bunched around her waist, I put my hands under her knees. I spread her wide and raise her legs up, looking down at my prize.
With an efficiency that makes Macy gasp in surprise, I bend down, throw her legs over my shoulders, and attack her pussy with my mouth. I groan over the first taste, and the vibrations cause her to cry out. I alternate stabbing my tongue into her with circling it around her clit, and because I know this woman so well... because I can read every nuance in her breathing, the way the muscles of her inner thighs start to quiver just before she climaxes, I know that Macy needs only the barest of pushes to fall over the edge. I close my mouth over her clit, hitting her with a hard and fast flutter of my tongue.
She cries my name out... a sob really, and her entire body quakes with pleasure as she comes for me.
I would normally continue to lap at her, loving the continued aftershocks that will continue to sizzle long after the major burst is gone. But I can't wait another second... I have to be one with her.
Pushing myself up, I let her legs off my shoulders. They're weak and fall open even further as she watches me. I deftly jerk on my fly and the buttons all pop free. Pushing my underwear and jeans down just enough to get my cock in my hand, I'm then guiding it to her entrance. The first touch of her warm flesh against mine and I have to give in to my base urges.
I push in just a few inches and release my hold on my dick. My hands go behind her knees, raising her legs up high until her ass is off the couch. I lean my body forward and from this position, I push down into her hard.
That's right... down into her because I have her body practically folded in half. I draw my knees up a little, giving me more leverage, and really start to drill into her.
"Yes," Macy moans as her head tilts backward and she bares her throat to me. "Just like that."
I pile drive into her harder and harder. My hips piston, my ass muscles clenching on every thrust and relaxing as I pull back. My head spins, my lungs constrict.
So damn close.
I drop my hold on Macy's legs and collapse on top of her, still fucking her like a beast. But I take what she's offering and clamp my mouth onto her neck. I give a hard suck and then I'm seeking her mouth, because even when I'm balls deep in the sweetest pussy in the world, I'm closest to Macy when we complete the simple act of kissing.
My tongue takes a swipe at hers and when it retreats, I speak against her lips. "I love you."
Macy's hips slam upward against me, and she cries out into my mouth as she starts coming again. Just three little words caused her to fracture.
Pushing into her deep, I just rock against her while she trembles through her second orgasm. I press tiny kisses along her jaw until she's grabbing my head, sinking her fingers deep into my hair and dragging my lips back to hers.
My dick starts pounding at her again, now in a desperate need to mark her. Our kiss turns deeper, my thrusts more focused. I'm on the edge, just a few more strokes--
"Tell me again," Macy moans as she tears her lips from mine.
A starburst of white light flashes before me, and a violent orgasm starts to rocket through my body over her request. That she needs to hear me say I love her again.
I slam in one last time, my ass muscles squeezing so hard I'm afraid they'll cramp, and I tilt my head back as I groan out, "I love you," while I pour everything I have into her.
Ten minutes after the most amazing orgasm of my life, Macy and I are back on the battlefield. Frankly, I'm a little stunned by what just happened between us. I'm not really sure if it was as transcendental to Macy as it was to me, but in that moment she asked me to tell her I love her... in that split second where just her words alone had me coming like a geyser into her... I think my soul melded to hers. In that moment, I felt such completeness... such harmony in my life that I knew everything would be okay.
Except for now, Macy sits on the opposite side of the couch and glares at me. She only let me hold her for a few minutes after we were done, then she shot off into the bedroom where she donned a pair of yoga pants and a white t-shirt.
"That's my t-shirt," I say as a means of opening communication, filled with immense satisfaction she's wearing my clothing. That old, semen-stained t-shirt she took from my office months ago after wiping the wetness from between her legs.
She glances down at it, and her cheeks turn red. "I like to sleep in it."
This pleases me greatly, but I don't gloat. I have a feeling Macy's anger is going to come back to pay me a visit.
"That was phenomenal," I say... hoping she'll validate my feelings.
She merely shrugs and picks at the hem of my t-shirt. "You really should leave," she says as a means to get us back to the heart of the matter.
"Not until we talk."
Her head snaps up, and she throws her hands up in frustration. "What's to talk about? The longer you're here, the more danger you're in."
"I don't care," I snap at her, scooting closer to her on the couch. I take her hands in mine and squeeze them. "We can work this out."
Macy jerks her hands from mine and flies off the couch. She takes two steps away, and then whirls back around. I'm stunned to see tears leaking from her eyes. "Don't you understand what this all means, Cal?"
I have to touch her. I have to feel her warmth and ensure myself she isn't lost to me. Surging off the couch, I bring my hand to her cheek. She doesn't shy away from me, but her look is guarded.
"It means," I tell her softly, "that you were abused, assaulted, and treated horrifically. It means I'm in awe of your strength. It means I love you more, not less, because of those things. It means I am not going awa
y."
She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes. Shaking her head, she lowers her gaze for a moment, and when she looks back up, I see the utter truth as she believes it on her face. "It means I'm damaged. Beyond repair. You're too good of a man to ever saddle yourself with someone like me."
"You are not damaged beyond repair," I assert, keeping my voice soft, even though I want to shake those notions out of her.
"Cal," Macy says as if she's talking to a child. "You keep telling me you love me, and you'd be a liar if you didn't admit that you're waiting for those words back from me. But I don't think I can get them out."
"I don't need the words," I tell her urgently. "Don't you think what we did... just now on that couch... isn't that about care and deep feelings? You might not be able to say it, but I'm telling you, Macy... that's mutual love. Deny that what just happened wasn't amazing and that you don't crave it."
She looks at me with pity, reaching up to take my hand away from her cheek. "That was amazing. And I did crave it."
I give her a smug look because I got her to admit that.
She catches me off guard, though, when she asks, "Do you know why I like sex so much?"
I shake my head, thrown by this change of subject. I don't think I really want to know the answer to this question.
She gives it to me anyway.
"It's because I was taught at an early age that was my only value. My parents ignored me and the only thing that drew my uncle to me was sex. After the abortion, my parents sent me off to boarding school, and I went crazy. I slept with everyone I could, even a teacher, and I loved every bit of it. Because I got the attention I was so desperately craving. And it felt good. I mean, really good."
I stare at her, dumbfounded. What she says makes absolute sense, and yet I don't want to believe a word of it. Because, if I do, then there is a chance that maybe she doesn't have deep care toward me the way I suspected. She's with me just because the sex is great, and it's something that makes her feel valued.
Which makes me feel cheap.
"In my entire life," she says quietly. "I never believed any man when they told me they cared for me... or loved me. I knew those were lies, only told to further their own agenda. I refused to let myself ever open up to a person like that."
"Macy," I say... my voice raw with emotion. "I understand all that. But you have to know that's not who you are right now... today... standing here with me."
She shakes her head sadly. "I don't know that. I'm a bad person at my core. I don't think I was made that way, but I think I was certainly shaped that way."
I take a step toward her, the need to pull her into my arms painfully overwhelming. She holds up a hand and shakes her head. "No. You cannot love someone like me. There is nothing redeeming about me."
Something cracks inside of me. I actually feel a physical thwack of pain as if someone snapped a giant rubber band against my heart. And while Macy deserves my empathy and love, right now she deserves a few smacks on the ass.
I. Am. Pissed.
I grab her by the shoulders and reel her in. My voice is low, rumbling with dire warning. "Don't ever let me hear you talk that way about yourself again."
Her face pales, her lips tremble. Eyes go wide with a tinge of apprehension.
"You are one of the most wonderful people I've ever met, and while I could stand here for hours and list out every desirable trait you possess, I'm not going to waste my breath. You are a woman of confidence. You know you are amazing. But what I am going to do is spend a moment making sure that if you never believe another thing I tell you, please believe this."