Roxie couldn’t take much more without losing it. ‘Well, what did you mean?’
‘That you’re like her in that you have the capacity to love that deeply, that profoundly.’
Oh, now she felt hurt—and so, so vulnerable. ‘What makes you think that?’
His expression softened. ‘You showed it in the way you cared for your grandparents. You did everything and anything you could for them.’
‘Nothing anyone else wouldn’t have done.’ She tried to minimise it; she was no saint.
He shook his head. ‘You give, Roxie. You give everything.’
She didn’t say anything to that. Couldn’t.
He leaned nearer, bending slightly so their faces were almost touching, whispered, ‘Aren’t you going to ask me why I’m here?’
‘Should I have to ask?’ she basically wailed, her nerves finally shredded. ‘You don’t just want to tell me?’
‘I shouldn’t have let you down.’ He too suddenly sounded rougher round the edges.
‘You’ve never let me down.’ Every cell inside her hurt from the effort of trying to stop trembling. To stay standing. He’d been wonderful to her in all the ways he could.
He closed his eyes. ‘Yes, I have.’
Did he mean that final night when he’d refused her stupidly desperate advances? ‘You were allowed to say no to me.’
‘No.’ His eyes flashed open, his gaze pinning her. ‘I let you down, and myself down, when I let you leave without telling you how I felt. I should have told you, but I was proud. And hurt. Now I’m just so miserable I’m prepared to grovel as much as I have to.’
Roxie’s shaking became uncontrollable. ‘G-g-grovel?’
‘You asked if I’d really had to fight for something. That if I had, I’d know when a fight was worth the effort. Well, I’m fighting now. You know what for?’
She shook her head. The boulder that had just gotten lodged in her throat prevented her answering verbally.
‘I’m fighting for you.’
Gabe watched the colour wash out of her face—leaving her paler than when she’d first seen him walking towards her. ‘I didn’t want you to go,’ he said roughly. ‘I should have told you that, but I didn’t want to stop you from going. I didn’t want to stand in your way and I didn’t think you wanted—’ He broke off. She was still staring at him as if he were an apparition or something. He’d been holding back, not wanting to overwhelm her but it wasn’t working. And he needed to hold her. He put his hands on her waist, about to pull her close, but she put her palms on his chest. Defensively. And, worse, she still looked disbelieving.
‘I know you, Gabe,’ she said, her voice harsh. ‘You’re a healer, not someone who hurts other people. You hate the thought of hurting someone. But I’m strong, I’m not like Diana, I’m not going to crumble.’
‘You know, I bloody wish you would,’ he said, tightening his grip on her and pulling her closer despite her hands blocking him. ‘I wish you’d open up and tell me how you’re feeling. It’s okay to admit to being upset. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to need something from someone.’
From him. He wanted her to want everything from him.
But she shook her head. ‘When you were a kid you looked after the orphan lambs. I don’t want to be another orphan lamb for you.’
‘Roxie, you’re not listening to me. I know how strong you are. The strongest person I’ve ever met. You’re all steel, able to make whatever sacrifice necessary. So I don’t feel sorry for you, I feel sorry for me having to try and match your courage. I don’t think you’re some orphan lamb who needs rescuing. Quite the opposite.’ He was determined to prove it to her—even if it took him the rest of his life to wear her down enough to accept what he had to give. ‘You’re brave and terrifyingly independent. You learned how to load syringes so you could administer pain relief to the people you loved most. You cared for them, helped them, fought to give them the best chance. You grew that massive garden, filled with wonderful goodness, made all that food with such love. You put your own dreams on hold for so long and I know you did that gladly. And I know you said this was your time now—to have your adventures and fun. And I don’t want to hold you back. I don’t want to stop you doing the things you want to do. But I do want a place in your life and I’m going to fight for it, Roxie. I think you’re blocking yourself from the biggest adventure of all, with me, and that’s not true to you. You’re an all-giving person.’
He could feel the constant tremors racking through her. Could feel her trying to stop them. To resist.
‘I don’t want to be,’ she whispered.
And he heard the fear.
‘You can’t be any other way, and I want it for me.’ He cupped her cheek and looked into the beautiful blue eyes that were filled with a hurt he ached to ease. If only she would give him the chance. ‘And you deserve someone to give it all back to you too. That would be me.’ He smiled. ‘You’re not meant to be alone. I felt the way you held me, Roxie, I felt that need in you and I hope like hell I’m not delusional on that. You know I never wanted to commit, never wanted to compromise. I thought I had my life plan perfect. But then I met you. And now? I’d do anything for you. So be with me. Lean on me. That’s what people who love each other do.’ He bent his head nearer, his heart hurting for hers. ‘I’m sorry you lost your family. But you can’t protect yourself from loving any more. That’s not living. You, more than anyone, are supposed to love. You need your connections, your history. You need your home and I’m sorry if being with me there spoilt that place for you. Is that what happened?’ He’d had the awful fear that he’d somehow ruined it for her.
‘Oh, no,’ she breathed, her eyes full of distress. ‘I just couldn’t bear it any more—everyone I loved I lost in that house.’ She bit on her lip, then whispered, ‘Including you.’
‘You never lost me.’ He lifted her face with gentle fingers. ‘But don’t leave me in the wilderness now, Roxie. I want you. I want everything with you.’
He swore he could see her heart reflected in those pure blue eyes—glistening, vulnerable, beautiful. And as he watched the smallest curve to her lips grew and she blinked—her gaze suddenly stronger, direct, true.
‘Everything?’
That hint of undaunted tease, of Foxy Roxie, made his bones liquefy.
‘The works,’ he promised.
She moved closer, snuggling right against him. Gabe’s blood fizzed as her fingers curled into his shirt. Holding him close now—she clutched as if she was never going to let him go. She rose on tiptoe, her heart bursting, and whispered, ‘But you know I’ve got quite an imagination, right?’
‘I can’t wait to see what you’re going to add to my list,’ he breathed, bending to brush her lips.
‘You have a list?’ Her lips curved against his.
‘Come with me now and I’ll show you it,’ he invited, then swooped.
Roxie’s spirit soared to the heavens like a cork fired from a bottle of champagne. She lifted her hand
, feeling his warm jaw with her cold fingers, holding his head to hers. Deep, yearning, passionate. Her tired eyes closed as he filled her senses, pouring warmth and love into her cold bones. She did as he’d invited—leaned on him, drawing on his heat and strength and heart. His arms tightened all the more around her, pulling her closer and closer.
‘Please don’t ever let me go again,’ she muttered.
‘Never.’ He kissed her fear away. ‘Come on, let’s get some place else before we get arrested.’
He kept her close, tucked in right beside him as they walked to flag a cab. She wasn’t letting him go either, one hand still curled into his shirt. ‘Shouldn’t you be helping the team prep for the next game?’ she asked, once they’d gotten in the back of a taxi. Suddenly she was nervous of the future that only seconds ago had seemed easy and perfect. ‘It’s only early in the season.’
‘I’ve got this one covered but, you’re right, I can only stay a few days unless I resign.’ His arm tightened around her shoulder as she tensed in rejection of that idea. ‘I know you want to travel and I don’t want to stop you doing that. So maybe I could come over every couple of weeks. Even for just a few nights. I can meet you wherever.’
Every couple of weeks? She vehemently shook her head. ‘You can’t fly all this way and back again all that often. You’ll get too tired and it costs too much.’
He opened his mouth to argue but she pressed the backs of her fingers against it. Because no way was she being apart from him for that long.
‘Maybe we could travel together for a while when the season ends.’ She smiled when she saw his frown, pushed her fingers more firmly against his lips when she felt them move. ‘I could come back and dance for the rest of the season. Even as just the substitute. I feel bad for running out on Chelsea.’
His eyes widened and the rest of him went very still.
‘I want to come back with you,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t want to do this trip on my own. I want to go to all the fun places, but I want to do that with you. I’m not letting you go either.’
He pulled her back into a tight embrace. She felt his face, hot and hard pressed against her neck. He said nothing for a while. Didn’t kiss her. Just held her close. The way she needed to be held. His muscles bunched. What she’d just said meant something to him. As she began to understand that he really meant it. That he loved her and wanted her. And, scared though she was, the beauty and magic of it overruled that fear.