She swallowed hard. ‘In my experience, that’s not very far.’ And trust was a different thing from caring.
But he didn’t reply.
‘Why is that?’ she prompted him. ‘What woman betrayed you?’
He was Europe’s most eligible bachelor, but he wasn’t known as any kind of ‘Playboy Prince’. He was too hardworking, too serious.
‘There’s no way I can casually date, or meet someone new without the world watching. And I think it takes time and space to build trust,’ he said, failing to answer her actual question.
Well, that was fair enough, but he wasn’t exactly trying with anyone, was he? And then she understood why. He was all about duty.
‘Caring doesn’t matter, does it?’ she realised. ‘Because you’ll settle for some sort of arranged marriage with a princess of some remote European country some time.’
He paused and looked her directly in the eyes. ‘Yes.’
She was quiet, processing this flat acceptance of a future so unloving.
He kept looking into her eyes, and suddenly intensity stormed into him. ‘Won’t it make it awkward in the future if we have an affair now?’
Was he going to agree to her terms?
She tried to suck in some much-needed oxygen. ‘Awkward in what way?’
‘At family events?’
‘What family events?’ She suddenly giggled. ‘I’m barely family. I’m not going to come to the palace for Christmas.’
‘What do you do for Christmas?’ He cocked his head.
‘I work on the ward.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘I’m not an angel.’
‘No?’
‘Of course not. I’m as human as you are.’
‘But we both know I’m better than most,’ he teased. ‘Why else would you be asking me to teach you the delights of carnal desire?’
‘Don’t tease.’
‘Then tell me why,’ he suddenly snapped. ‘Honestly. How do you think this can possibly work? How, in any way, do you not get hurt in this?’
Oh, so he assumed that she’d get hurt but not him?
‘I know you’re not going to hurt me because you can’t hurt me,’ she answered vehemently. ‘This is just for now—while I’m staying. Then it ends. You can’t keep me strung along for months or years because no one can know. It can’t even last weeks because of the risk of being found out—I know that’s a risk you won’t take. You can’t marry me. You can’t love me. You’re no threat to me long-term. I’m safe from hurt simply because of the truth of our circumstances.’
She already knew this would lead nowhere—other than to a hopefully awesome experience for herself. One she really didn’t want to miss out on. Not now she’d had a glimpse.
‘And you’re not going to fall in love with me?’
She refused to rise to his arrogant baiting. ‘I’m not going to be with you long enough for that to be possible.’
‘You think falling in love is dependent on time? Is there no such thing as love at first sight?’
‘Of course not,’ she snapped. ‘Lust, yes. Love? That takes longer to develop. You just said yourself—it takes time to build trust and caring and all that stuff.’
‘I’m so glad you’re such an expert on this. You’ve satisfactorily allayed all my concerns.’
She flushed. ‘Don’t be facetious.’
She wasn’t going to fall for him. She just wanted to be ‘cured’—to feel normal sexual arousal, to have sex. Good sex. If she could do it with him, then she could do it with someone else in the future...
But her innards curled with distaste at that thought. And there was the truth: she couldn’t regret this happening because if she didn’t get that with any other guy then she would at least have experienced it once with him. She wouldn’t have missed out on that sensation in her life. Because up till now, she’d been sure she would never feel it.
‘Don’t tell me you didn’t try to tempt me into this,’ she said softly. ‘Don’t act like this isn’t exactly what you want.’ The colour flamed in her cheeks as she called him on it.
If he denied her, when she’d felt his passion, she’d be angry. She wanted to be able to trust her instincts as she discovered her sensuality.
‘Okay. I won’t lie. I want you. Our chemistry is off the charts. Maybe it’s because it’s so damn inappropriate. Mostly it’s because you’re so bloody beautiful and you set my teeth on edge every time you open your mouth. And, yes, I wanted you to come to me like this. I wanted to provoke you.’
A wave of satisfaction swept over her. ‘Then what are you waiting for?’
He stared at her for a second and his eyes widened. ‘You think I’m going to tumble you into bed this second?’
‘Why not?’
Hadn’t she waited all her life already? She’d never wanted a man like this. She’d always run from any possible encounter. Every barrier she could raise, she’d erected. But now? This was her one chance to be normal. To feel again what she’d felt last night.
He laughed delightedly, but then groaned. ‘Kassie, you’re enough to tempt a man into total madness.’
‘Don’t laugh at me.’
‘I’m not laughing at you.’ He cupped her face and looked into her eyes. ‘All your life you’ve missed out on the build-up, the anticipation.’
‘I don’t need to anticipate this any more than I already do.’ He didn’t get it. ‘This is a first for me. I want it to become normal for me, the way it is for everyone else.’
He dragged in a breath. ‘If you trust me to do this, then trust me enough to do it my way.’
She paused, a curl of anticipation flickering through her. ‘Are you being bossy again?’
He lifted a shoulder. ‘What did you expect? Leopards can’t change their spots, and I’ve been the boss almost all my life. Give me some leeway. I won’t let you down.’ He sighed. ‘And the very least you can do is have some breakfast. You must be hungry...’ His eyes lit with laughter. ‘For food. Come on.’
He led her out into a small private patio. Her mouth watered as she saw a silver tray laden with pastries and fruit.
‘Let’s start with this, okay?’ he said.
‘With what?’
He lifted a finger. ‘Touch your finger to mine.’
She pressed the tip of her finger lightly against his.
‘Look at me.’
How was it possible for her to sizzle with just this tiny, most innocuous of touches? But it wasn’t tiny, and somehow she couldn’t tear her gaze from his. The connection, just from touching fingertip to fingertip and looking right into his eyes, was insanely strong.
Desire shook like a quake deep within her. She shivered with longing. ‘This is—’
‘Intimate,’ he said softly. ‘This is going to be very intimate, Kassie, don’t try to tell yourself it isn’t.’
She had to resist the sudden urge to pull back.
He saw it and he smiled. ‘That’s why we’re going to take our time and start with the simple sweetness of holding hands.’
Warmth bloomed as his fingers laced through hers.
‘I’m not twelve,’ she grumbled beneath her breath, and grabbed a pastry with her free hand.
‘Thank heavens for that.’ He laughed. ‘You know to ask for anything you’d like to eat? Swim. Read anything you can find in the library.’ He glanced at his watch and frowned. ‘Now I have to go—I can’t be late to my meeting.’ He looked at their entwined hands and then released her. ‘We’ll have dinner out here tonight.’
‘You don’t need to romance me. I’ve already said yes. In fact, I’m the one who asked.’
‘I don’t need to romance you...?’ His shoulders shook. ‘You just want wham, bam and it’s all over?’
‘I’ve never felt desire like normal people—’ She broke off and glared at him. ‘Why are you laughing again?’
‘What makes you think this level of desire is normal?’
She didn’t want to think this was anything more or less than normal. ‘This isn’t anything special.’
He looked at her seriously. ‘One thing I learned from my debauched youth is that perhaps it should be special. Especially the first time.’
She shook her head.
‘In this moment, Kassie,’ he explained with seemingly infinite patience. ‘I’m not talking for ever. I’m talking in this moment. We let this be special in this moment. Okay?’
‘At least I know you’re not going to kiss and tell,’ she said with a wry smile. ‘I know I can trust you to keep this discreet.’
* * *
Giorgos requested his driver go slow, so he could prepare properly for his meeting, but he couldn’t get his mind off Kassie. He’d trusted no woman this way in years, never bringing one into his home. He relied on clandestine rendezvous in the private house he kept in the city for that express purpose.
He had no desire to take Kassie there. But Kassie wasn’t like other women. Kassie was just... Kassie. And she looked at him with such innocently questioning hunger that he nearly lost his head completely. Rationally, he knew he shouldn’t touch her. He should send her away. He could keep her safe far away from his side. But he couldn’t resist keeping her close. He was tired of the guilt and obligation he would have for the rest of his life. He wanted to feel better. Helping Kassie made him feel better.