When I reentered the house, Bill was standing with his hands in his pockets. I watched as he inspected the stairway railing and kicked at a loose floorboard. The corners of his mouth tugged, suggesting a frown. I scanned the room around him. Honey-colored flooring would complement the warm light that flooded from antique lamps. Heavy, earthy furniture made of oak and aged leather would fill the open floor plan.
And, yet . . . something felt off, though I wasn’t sure what. The house had potential, and I was already wondering what it looked like in the early morning when the light was just starting to filter in. Still, I struggled to complete the picture.
“What do you think?” he asked.
I froze, and seconds passed; I could hear the soft ticking of the grandfather clock. Maybe it was my imagination. Maybe once we’d overhauled it and made it into the beautiful place I knew it could be, things would be different. They had to be. Bill had been right all along. It wasn’t going to be perfect right away or maybe ever. It would take time for it to feel like home. I took a step backward and pointed to the second floor. “Upstairs?”
I followed as he carefully climbed the noisy steps. The master bedroom, located at one end of the hall, was spacious – bigger than any others we had seen, which I knew would appeal to Bill. It had a large, unobstructed view of the backyard and a corner window on the opposite wall that faced the street.
He reported that there were two more rooms down the hall. I nodded, taking his words in but still studying him. “Can we afford it, really?”
“No,” he said honestly. “The house, yes. But I have no idea about the remodel. It’s outside our budget, I’m sure. It would mean cutting back on some things for a while.”
“Is this what you want?”
He squinted his eyes and his tongue ran over his front teeth. “I don’t know how I feel about taking on a project like this when we’re both so busy. But I really want to get out of the city, and I want you to love your new home.”
It was undoubtedly the nicest thing he’d ever done for me. I shifted, and a floorboard groaned beneath me. The bedroom was growing dark, and I blinked at his disappearing silhouette. “Okay,” I said. “Yes. Let’s do it.” I crossed the room and hugged him close for an overdue moment of intimacy. We walked to the stairs arm in arm before separating to descend.
~
“Open mine next.”
Lucy squealed with delight as she accepted the overstuffed party bag from Bethany, who had a playful gleam in her eye.
“Oh, my,” she groaned as she pulled out a pink, feathered tiara with the word ‘Bachelorette’ branded across the front. We were ten girls at a noisy restaurant downtown, egging Lucy on as she unwrapped gifts between sips of her pink Cosmo.
“You’re wearing that now, and you’re wearing this too,” Dani said, placing a necklace with mini phallic-shaped candies around Lucy’s neck.
“Dani! It’s definitely inappropriate for my little sister to be draping me in penises.”
“It is perfectly appropriate,” Dani retorted, clearing a mass of brown, glossy ringlets from her shoulder.
I picked up a green gummy penis and popped it in my mouth before scrunching up my nose. “Sour apple,” I lamented. “Yuck.”
“Oh, no you don’t, Olivia Germaine. You will swallow that penis,” Gretchen scolded, waving a finger at me.
I laughed and gulped the candy down exaggeratedly before chasing it with my Cosmo.
I sat between Lucy and Gretchen as Dani, maid of honor and official party planner, stood to raise her glass. “There will be no toast tonight because between the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, I’m running out of material. Lucy is too good, and there aren’t enough naughty stories to go around. There’s only one decent one from high school, involving her bedroom window and a football jock named Jack, but I’m saving that for the big night.”
“Dani, no! You wouldn’t!” Lucy cried, her face a veritable bright red.
“I’m teasing, sis. That one isn’t nearly good enough for a wedding toast. Anyway, please raise your glasses for my non-toast, and let’s get this party underway.”
“I can’t believe you’re getting married in two days,” Gretchen said to Lucy, leaning into my lap.
“Me neither. I never thought I’d say this, but I’ll be glad when it’s over. It’s been so much work.”
“Yes, it has, but you’ve done an amazing job,” I reassured. “Sunday is going to be beautiful.”
“It had better be,” she said. “What are you doing about a date, Gretch? You RSVP’d plus one, so you must bring a plus one.”
“Actually, I’m just going to bring John. Is that cool?”
“Of course! I love your brother.”
“Why don’t you have a date?” I asked skeptically.
“No reason,” she responded with a shrug.
“Hey, whatever happened with Brian?” I was embarrassed that I’d never asked about the date they’d gone on months ago.
“Who?”
“Brian Ayers. I introduced you at the magazine’s Meet & Greet.”
“Oh, that guy, no, yuck.”
“Yuck? He’s hot. He’s like freakin’ Hemsworth hot, if you’re into blonds, which you are.”
“Agreed, but he’s a pretentious prick.”
“Oh,” I said with surprise. “I don’t think so at all.”
She shrugged. “Then you fuck him.”
Her roommates, Ava and Bethany, giggled from across the table, but I gave Gretchen a reproachful look.
“Who are you bringing, Dani?” Ava asked.
“This guy I’ve just started seeing,” she replied with a half-smile.
“He’s coming from Milwaukee?” Bethany asked.
“He lives here,” Lucy interjected. “You guys know him from my engagement party. David Dylan.” For the first time, our end of the table was silent, and I was sure they could all hear my heart drop. “It’s still new, which is why I didn’t mention it.”
Ava looked confused, but Bethany reminded her that he was ‘that tall, gorgeous hunk from that one restaurant’s soft opening’ before declaring that she was supremely jealous.
I fielded a sidelong glance from Gretchen. She and I hadn’t discussed David beyond the night I’d confessed my feelings to her. I hadn’t let our conversations go that way again. She didn’t know about what I’d done, but I hated that she knew anything at all.
“You . . . You lucky bitch,” Gretchen joked awkwardly. “I’ve had my eye on him for a while. How did that happen?”
Dani’s eyes brightened. “Well, I was in town last month for some wedding planning, and Lucy set us up. He took all of us on his sailboat, no big deal,” she said with a giddy grin.
“Can you imagine having David Dylan as a brother-in-law?” Lucy asked. “I’d never stop staring!”
“Hands off,” Dani kidded.
“I’m trying to convince Dani to move to Chicago, and this is part of my plan,” Lucy said proudly.
Dani rolled her e
yes. “She acts like Milwaukee is another country.”
“You’re here all the time anyway,” Lucy pointed out.
I was spinning my wedding ring at the same pace that my mind was whirring. I glared at the girl across from me. She was Danielle officially, but insisted on being called Dani. She had Lucy’s dark brown hair and green eyes like mine. I had always been worried about Gretchen catching David’s attention with her blonde curls and Windex-colored eyes, but now David’s words rang through my head: ‘I prefer brunettes with big, green eyes . . . .’
“I’ll be honest, I thought David was something of a womanizer, but they’ve been out twice, and he hasn’t made any moves,” Lucy revealed.
“He’s such a gentleman,” Dani boasted.
Gentleman. My insides tightened at the term, and I gripped my thighs. He was no gentleman. He was rough and harsh and callous but tender and sweet and considerate. The adjectives flowed through me, and I bit my lip. He deserved someone like Dani, who was cute and spunky and most importantly – available.
“He’s flying back just to take her,” Lucy said, and everyone twittered.
“Where is he?” I asked hoarsely before I could stop myself.
“New York,” Dani answered as though the information was nothing. “He’s an architect, and he’s working on a project there. Originally he said he couldn’t make it because of work, which I thought was weird because it is Labor Day weekend, but he changed his mind all of a – ”
“Excuse me,” I said, standing.
“Do you want company?” Gretchen asked, moving to get up.
I sighed inwardly, wanting nothing more than to run away and cry, but my self-preservation instincts kicked in. “No. I’m fine,” I said with a big smile. “I’m going to call Bill and tell him I miss him.”
The table cooed harmoniously. Lucy nearly melted in her chair.
“What can I say, all this wedding talk has me feeling romantic.”
I made a show of retrieving my phone and went to stand outside in the warm night. Warm, yes, but I was cold. I was always cold to the bone lately. I didn’t call Bill as I had said but took a moment to collect myself. Dani. And David. Me. And Bill. It made perfect sense. I wondered if he had even considered how it might hurt me to hear that. Surely, after all this time, he didn’t consider my feelings anymore. Why should he?