David took a deep breath. “Get over here.”

I blinked a moment and then stood. Cautiously, I rounded the desk until I was standing in front of him.

“I’m not happy,” he said.

“I can tell.”

“I don’t like you canceling on me and then turning off your phone.”

“Okay.”

“And I told you, if he’s near you, I want to be there.”

“I didn’t know – ”

“But for all the times I stood in this office and couldn’t touch you, I’m going to kiss you anyway.”

With a small smile, I took a step closer and placed my hands on his chest. His arms came around the middle of my back, and he held me for a slow kiss.

I felt his love in that kiss. He believed he loved me, but a small part of me wondered if he knew the difference between lust and love, now and someday. Bill asked what makes me different. I don’t know that David doesn’t say these things to everyone. He said himself that he didn’t know Maria expected more of him. That she one day thought he would come around. What did he give her that she clung to for so long?

“Hey.”

I opened my eyes. “Hey,” I repeated.

“You’re not with me.”

I searched his eyes for a moment, wondering how he could tell the moment my mind began to wander.

“Now, I want to know what he said to you.”

I sighed and dropped my eyes to his chest. His pecs tightened under my hands when I said, “He kissed me.”

“You’re kidding.”

“It didn’t mean anything. If anything, it reminded me how much – ”

“Don’t bullshit me,” he clipped.

“I’m not,” I said defensively.

“What’d he say to you?”

“We talked about a lot,” I said.

“Yeah?”

My gaze dropped down again, and I tried to keep my fingers from curling into his chest. “Can we talk about this later?”

His arms around me gave me a light shake. “No.”

“It just happened,” I told his tie. “I need a little time to process it.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, his body vibrating under my hands. “You’re letting him get in your head, honeybee.”

I smiled barely, a reflex to the endearment.

“And here I let myself think I had you,” he said.

My smile fell, and I looked at him finally. “You do,” I stated.

“This weekend, you gave. I saw it, and it was everything I had hoped for. But I can feel you taking it away. Shut me out and this won’t work.”

I continued staring at him as his words sank in.

“I know you didn’t have that with him,” he continued, “so I get that it’s scary. But we aren’t going to be like that. There’s no reason to keep things from me, and I won’t tolerate it.”

“I’m not keeping anything. I told you he kissed me.”

“And you told me it didn’t mean anything. I believe you. I’m more worried about what he put in your head.”

“He’s not in – ”

“Because I can feel you shutting down.”

“I’m not,” I rushed out. “But things are moving so fast, and I need a minute. We had a perfect weekend, but maybe I should take a step back and stay at Gretchen’s tonight.”

He looked away and shook his head. “He has you so fucked, you don’t even realize that this is how it’s supposed to be.”

“What does that mean?”

“Bill, or maybe your mom, I don’t know, they have you believing that you’re supposed to do this on your own. That if you let me in, I’ll take that trust and turn it on you. You’ve gotta let me help you deal with whatever’s going on.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just bit my lip.

He looked at me, eyebrows raised, waiting for me to speak. I turned my head to look out the window. I’m not like your other girls. Not like Maria. If you break me, I won’t recover. I’m too weak.

His arms dropped from around me. “Go to Gretchen’s.”

“What?” I asked as I stepped back.

He crossed his arms. “Go. Just know that I can’t be in a relationship with someone who won’t talk to me. I can’t always be the one doing all the work. So you go to Gretchen’s to figure out if that’s the life you want. A life without me – maybe it’s being single, maybe it’s with Bill. But it’s without me.”

I felt my chin quiver. Suddenly I didn’t want to go to Gretchen’s. I knew I’d fucked up, but I didn’t know exactly how. I was trying to spare him from seeing the weakness in me. I was trying to spare both of us from the heartache that could be. “I – I’m sorry. You’re right. Tonight, we can talk – ”

“No,” he said. “I already gave you the chance to talk, but instead you want to keep it all inside so you can make decisions without me. So you can believe him over me. You’re supposed to be on my side, Olivia. Not his. So go and decide if you want what we had this weekend, or if you prefer the type of life where nobody gets in, and it’s just you, and you have no pain, but you don’t have real love either. Not the kind I’m handing you.”

Tags: Jessica Hawkins The Cityscape Erotic
Source: readsnovelonline.net