Your joy dependent on which you allowed to hold most in your heart. Which were given most residence and respect.
Me?
I was going to cherish this.
This restoration.
This revival of love that I’d found in these people.
Hell, I was even going to be cordial to those who didn’t deserve it.
When Maggie stepped back, I lifted my chin to the man who lurked like the off-putting memory of a bad dream halfway down the path.
A perfect storm. Chaos in the midst of the serenity I had found.
“Richard.” I tried and failed to make it sound as if I didn’t mind that he was there, and he’d come a few steps closer. And there went my stupid eyes, immediately searching through the rubble on his flesh, seeking that tiny reminder he had tattooed on the inside of his wrist.
A violet.
I’d wondered if he would have erased it.
But it was there.
Hidden within the designs that whispered of brokenness and horrors unseen.
He grumbled a rough sound. The rumble of it rippled across my flesh, those eyes the color of a spruce severe and acute. So sharp he might as well have been touching me.
I shook myself out of it. There was no chance I could go traipsing into those memories that wanted to climb into my consciousness. To remind me of what it’d felt like to be wrapped in those arms and loved by that body.
What I needed to remember was how it felt to go without. What it was like to live in his aftermath.
“Well, we should head out to look at the layout.” I started down the trail that led to the spot where we hosted weddings, taking on the persona of the event planner I used for our clients as the group followed behind. I gestured to our lush surroundings. “Since the last time you were here, we’ve added a multitude of new features to make this one of the state’s most sought-after wedding destinations. A private drive to the tree loops around the north of us with a parking lot. It also gives easier access for deliveries. We do have a large tent for the reception, tables, chairs, as well as a dance floor. You will have to contact someone for the linens as we don’t supply those, as well as any food and beverages.”
Melanie whipped out an iPad, totally on top of it. “Tables. Chairs. Tent. Dance floor. Check, check, check. Mabel and I will procure the linens. Royce, get us on the hook of an amazing band, yeah? Someone yummy and sexy at the front. Yes and please and thank you.” She mumbled the last before her attention shifted back to me. “I’m assuming you can provide the floral arrangements?” she asked with a quirk of her brow.
I let go of a light laugh. “Yes, we can definitely provide the floral arrangements. In fact, we insist on it.” I sent her a wink.
We wound down through the rows of flowers.
Roses.
Lilies.
Lilacs.
A whole acre of poppies.
Daffodils and tulips.
I tried not to fumble when I saw Saul out working in the distance with a couple of other men on our team, the way he glanced our way in longing, worry, and speculation.
Like he could just…feel it. The turmoil I was in.
Goodness.
I couldn’t deal with it all.
We wound down one hill and up another before we finally broke into the meadow where our weddings were held.
A whimper clawed at my throat when the gorgeous site came into view. It struck me every time. But somehow—somehow—this evening it was different.
A huge American Elm sat at the far end of it. Stoic and proud. Its branches were thick and stretching wide, the leaves full. The entire area was surrounded by lush vegetation.
It was like stepping into Eden.
Paradise.
One I’d been cast from.
Keep it together, Violet. You can do this.
I forced myself into a semblance of normalcy when there wasn’t a thing about this that felt normal. Still, I smiled and said, “I recommend sunset for the ceremony. Right about now. The view is breathtaking.”
“I already know what will be stealing my breath.” Royce proclaimed it just loud enough for everyone to hear.
I glanced at my sweet friend, at the way she sighed.
Joy spilled out for her. At the happiness she had found. It got mixed up with the hurt that wouldn’t go away. The hurt that felt all the more profound with him standing in the backdrop.
An unwilling participant. The strain blistering through the air and searing our flesh. I wouldn’t be surprised if the two of us combusted right there. Nothing left of us but the ash getting carried away by the wind.
“It’s perfect,” Emily whispered, taking in the view.
“Over here to the right is the best place to put up a tent if that’s what you’re planning for the reception. Unless you decide to have that in town?”