My body was floating like a balloon, and I felt my cheeks warm again, thinking about what had just happened. My heart pumped, and there were still butterflies in my stomach.
What would people think if they saw us now?
Alex would be proud. She’d want in.
Trevor would call me a whore.
My mother would have a drink, and Mrs. Crist would blow it off like she’d just walked into a pillow fight.
But a calm washed over me when I realized that the only opinion I cared about was the one that never made me feel shame. The one that always pushed me to take what I wanted, and the one that only ever asked that I never quit on him.
Never tap out.
With anyone else—at any other time—I might be scared that our relationship was in danger, or that he would feel threatened by Kai, but Michael knew where my heart was. He didn’t doubt me.
He doubted himself.
Kai finally stood up, turning around to stand over me. His eyes were heated, and a smile danced across his face. He looked young again.
“Aren’t you worried?” he said, glancing to Michael. “I could try to take her from you.”
“You could try,” Michael shot back.
And Kai smiled, leaning down and kissing my lips softly.
“Your dick’s working now,” Michael warned behind him. “Go find someone else.”
I heard Kai snort and his mouth shake on mine as he laughed. Pulling his lips away, he looked down at me with calm and a new confidence. “I have no words,” he said. “Just ‘thank you.’”
He turned and walked through the frosted door and into the locker room.
Michael and I sat in silence for a few moments, and I heard voices outside, suddenly remembering that we’d been caught before. Someone might’ve gone to get security.
Sitting up, I swung my legs over the bench and stood, my legs shaking and my body aching from what we’d just done. I could feel Michael’s eyes on me as I walked to my clothes on the floor.
“You know,” I started, slipping on my pants. “I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love you.”
I didn’t look at him but kept going, slipping on my jacket and grabbing my shoes and socks, sitting down on the bench to put them on.
“When you look at me,” I continued, “when you touch me, when you’re inside me, I’m completely in love with my life, Michael. I never wan
t to be anywhere else.”
I finished pulling on my socks and shoes, bending down to tie them.
When I was done, I sat up straight and looked at him. “Will you ever feel that for me?” I asked. “Will you ever need me or fear losing me?”
Kai had made me feel good. He’d needed me. Been grateful for me.
Michael held my eyes, nothing but a dead calm in his depths, and I couldn’t tell what was happening inside of him.
“Will you ever let yourself be vulnerable?” I pressed.
And when he just sat there, not answering, I finally got up and walked toward the door.
“I’ll meet you outside.”
Present