“I never do.”
And I backed away, turning around and heading to the locker room. Every Sunday morning, I joined him in the dojo at our home for a workout. It was the one thing we did together, and he never failed to be there. And so, of course, neither did I.
“No offense.” Will ran up next to me, sweat soaking through his T-shirt and covering his neck. “But your dad scares the shit out of me. Even I want his approval, and I know he hates me.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” I assured him, smiling to myself. “He’s waiting for the better you. That’s all.”
He simply grunted, and I followed as he pushed through the locker room door.
Frankly, I didn’t care if my father liked my friends. Damon’s father didn’t like anyone, and I’d be surprised if Michael’s father knew my name, even after all these years. My friends were simply mine. That was it. They were separate from what happened at home, in class, or even in my head sometimes. That’s what I liked about them. When we were together, we were a planet.
After I undressed and showered, I walked down the row of lockers, the room suddenly so noisy I could barely think. Everyone was ready, and so was I. I wanted to see her tonight. She had to find me.
I opened my locker and started pulling out my clothes.
“Alright,” Will called out, fixing his hair in front of the mirror in his locker, “the chicks already set everything up, and the paintball equipment is loaded in the cars,” he told us. “We’ll head out and do our shit, kill a little time at the cemetery, and then head to the city.”
“Wait. The city?” Damon spoke up. “We’re not going to the warehouse?”
I grinned. “You’re absolved, right?” I asked him, reminding him of his confession this morning. “You need new sins for next week. Don’t worry. You’ll like it.”
“I better,” he said, tightening the towel around his waist. “Because, holy shit, I need my dick sucked.”
Locker doors immediately slammed shut, and I looked up, all of a sudden seeing three of our teammates vacate the area quickly. Will burst into laughter so hard, he hunched over, shaking uncontrollably.
Damon turned and shouted, “Hey, where y’all going? One hot, wet mouth is as good as another, as far as I’m concerned!”
Smiling, Will shook his head, and raising his hands in the air, he met Damon’s palms in a high-five.
Damon chuckled and stuck an unlit cigarette in his mouth, but then a bellow echoed through the locker room.
“Torrrance!” Coach shouted. And Damon immediately spat out the cigarette.
“Goddammit,” he growled in a low voice.
How Lerner always knew when Damon was about to smoke, I had no idea. His aggravation, though, didn’t stop Will from breaking out in Mötley Crüe’s Smoking in the Boys Room, teasing him.
“Alright, let’s do this,” Michael called out, shutting them up. “It’s time.”
I pulled on my jeans, glancing at the clock behind me and seeing it was nearly two in the afternoon.
Time to round up the party.
We quickly finished dressing, pulled on our black hoodies, and grabbed our phones, wallets, and keys, leaving everything else behind. The bell rang, signaling the start of the final period of the day, and the four of us stepped out into the empty hallway, hearing the faint chatter of teachers carrying on with their final lessons on this Friday afternoon.
I wish you made better choices. That’s all.
I looked left to right, seeing the dim afternoon light barely igniting a glow on the blue and green lockers. The dark corners lurked beyond, and we all stood quiet for a rare moment, enjoying the calm before the storm.
“Let’s do this,” I said, still staring down the hallway and seeing the branches with red and orange leaves outside the front doors going wild in the wind.
I heard the shuffle of the bag, and knew Will was pulling out our masks one by one. Damon pulled on his black skull, the teeth in the mouth looking like claws. Will handed Michael his red one with deep black gashes across the face that were just as vicious as the gnawed lips. Will tossed me my metallic silver mask with slits for the eyes that were small and dark, and the gouges in the skin mean and hard. Then he slipped on the white one with a red stripe down the side of the face. All of us looked like some post-apocalyptic death squad, which suited the egos of a bunch of spoiled, rich boys who never really knew danger.
Will tossed the duffel back into the locker room, and I pulled my mask on like a helmet. I closed my eyes, savoring it. In here, I was invisible. I could be whomever I wanted.
In here, I wasn’t hiding.
Pulling out my phone, I texted Kylie Halpern in the front office, cueing her to play the music. Within ten seconds, Sister Machine Gun started beating out of the speakers down the halls and all around, and I slipped my phone in my back pocket, taking a deep breath.