No… My body started to shake.
No matter how I read the signs and braced myself, it was always so much harder than I thought it would be.
“I didn’t ask for this!” he screamed, grabbing my collar and slamming me into the door again. “I didn’t want it! Why can’t you help me out? Why can’t you be better?”
I opened my mouth to scream, but I gritted my teeth and bared down instead as he slapped me.
“Goddammit!” he yelled, gripping my collar so tightly the skin on my neck burned.
“Just…” He sucked in a breath, and I saw tears fill his eyes. “Just be fucking normal! Why do you do that, huh? Why?”
“Martin, stop…” I gasped.
I turned and opened the door, but he grabbed the handle and shut it again. Gripping my arm, he threw another hand across my cheek.
I squeezed my eyes shut. “Not the face!” I cried out.
But he didn’t listen—no longer able to think or care about who saw or knew. He’d lost his mind.
The rain pummeled the car, drowning out the sounds of his fists and curses as I dug my nails into the seat and the taste of blood filled my mouth.
Will’s truck flashed in my memory—the smell and the feel of him next to me.
But after a few moments, I couldn’t think of anything. I couldn’t remember anything.
No green eyes. No beautiful smile. No warm arms around me.
My glasses spilled to the floor and then…something wet dripped into my eye.
After a few moments, I couldn’t even remember his face.
• • •
I sat there, staring through the windshield and the wipers, barely mustering the motivation to breathe.
Martin sat back in his seat, lighting a cigarette as blood spilled off my eyebrow and the cuts stung in my mouth.
“It’s Devil’s Night tomorrow,” he said as we sat at the stoplight near the village on the way home. “The little devils fancy themselves dangerous, but no one is more of a threat than the person willing to do what everyone else won’t.”
I cast my eyes to the side, seeing his shotgun in its holder. Sobs lodged in my chest.
I could take it. It would all be over.
I could sleep at night.
“This is my town, Em.” He didn’t look at me, the blessed exhaustion calming his voice now. “It will be someday. This will all seem like a dream compared to the nightmare that awaits everyone who stands in my way.”
I could sleep forever.
I looked out at the rain, my vision blurry through the tears that wouldn’t stop.
I was tired. And sad.
And if he didn’t die, I would, and it had to be tonight. My insides screamed. I couldn’t take it anymore.
My fingers balled into fists, every muscle in my body tightening, and my legs were moving before I’d even made the decision. Pushing the door open, I leapt out in the rain, hearing him bellow my name and telling me to come back, but I just ran.
I was at the edge, and I didn’t want to stop.