On the trip to Calgary last week, when I showed up on the plane and Blue had not, I only explained to my buds when they asked that Blue had a medical emergency with Billy. When a new flight attendant took her place on the next trip, I didn’t offer up any explanations.
But now Legend apparently wanted to talk about it.
I take a sip of my bourbon. “She broke things off with me.”
“Why?” he asks, leaning toward me with concerned interest.
I explain to him about the call she missed because she was otherwise tied up with my mouth between her legs, but I don’t tell him about the oral sex part. Just that we were in bed. I also explain to him about Blue’s past with Billy and leaving home, and the tremendous guilt she’s carried.
Not knowing if Legend was too drunk to make the connection between the events, I explained that she felt she couldn’t balance a relationship with me and her loyalty to Billy to always put him first.
“That’s fucking stupid,” he exclaims while pounding his fist on our table. It causes our drinks to slosh a bit.
“Agreed,” I drawl.
“And how do you feel?” he asks.
I’ve never talked to another man about a woman before. The opportunity never presented itself, but Legend is a good buddy and he probably won’t remember this tomorrow.
So I unload.
“I’m pissed at her, man,” I tell him as I turn in my chair to face him better, resting my arm on the table. “Yes…I made a mistake. She made a mistake. Whatever. We’re human and it happens. But none of that fucking means I want to displace Billy or lower him in the pecking order. I’ll gladly take a backseat to his needs. And fuck…I’ve been nothing but supportive of her responsibilities to him. Christ…I’d move her and Billy into my place tomorrow if I thought she’d go for it. I can add an elevator so he can access the second floor and convert the second master into a handicapped accessible space. I mean, what the fuck, Legend…I’ve always supported her need to be there for her brother, and the one time I fuck it up and think to ask for a little for myself—a mistake which I’m willing to take full responsibility for—she tosses me from her life. Doesn’t even give me a backward glance and that fucking hurts because I had some major feelings for her. Which clearly she didn’t have for me, now that I think about it. Otherwise, how could she be so callous? Did I fucking misunderstand everything? Was I a fucking idiot? Did she dupe me? I mean, what the fuck happened and why did I let myself get taken—”
“Okay,” Legend cuts in on me with a big hand bearing down on my shoulder. He squeezes hard to get me to shut up. “You’re venturing into crazy territory with that anger toward Blue and you’re going to say things you really don’t mean and then you’re going to blow things out of proportion.”
My mouth slams shut.
Then it opens again. “It just hurts and it seems to me that she went a little overboard in cutting me out of her life.”
“So talk to her about it,” Legend says offhandedly.
“I’ve texted and called. She’s not responding. I think it’s clear she’s done with me.”
“Or perhaps she feels completely different about it now but doesn’t know how to reach out to you. Maybe she’s really embarrassed at the way she acted, and how she rashly quit her job with the team. Maybe she’s hiding out, licking her wounds.”
“You think?” I ask hopefully, because damn if he didn’t make that sound really fucking plausible.
“Fuck if I know,” he says with a shrug. “I just know that if you really care about her the way you say you do—which I know damn well extends to her brother as well—you’re not going to give up just because she didn’t respond to some texts and calls from you.”
“So I should contact her,” I muse to myself, but out loud.
“I’d go see her,” Legend says. “When we get back to Phoenix. Just go to her house and don’t leave until she agrees to talk to you. I think she’s being the unreasonable one here, Erik. And what I know of Blue, she’s a smart, rational woman. Trust me…she knows she acted unreasonably and probably out of fear, guilt, and anger. I think your chances are good that you can fix things.”
God…if that’s fucking true—
Should I even dare hope?
Yeah…I should fucking have hope. Blue is the best thing to ever happen to me, and you know what…I’m the goddamn best thing to happen to her as well. I’m going to go see her when I get back and I’m going to get my woman back. Then I’m going to move her and Billy in with me, trade my truck in for a van, and buy Blue a new car.