“What is wrong with me? Isn’t it clear I’m fucking freaked out that my wife is in the hospital and could’ve potentially died while I wasn’t even here?”
Willow takes in a deep breath, then lets it out. Her eyes turn gentle. “Look, I get you’re freaked out, but you are not helping matters by showing that to Regan. You need to calm down and be strong for her.”
“I am being strong for her,” I snap.
“No. You were not. You acted like a big, whiny baby.”
“I did not.” But even I have to admit my tone sounds whiny right now.
Christ.
I want to punch my fist through the wall. It’s made of cinderblock, though, which will just result in a broken hand. I regard my sister, feeling incredibly helpless. “I don’t want her to die.”
My sister doesn’t respond. Instead, she wraps her arms around my waist. She squeezes me hard, pressing her cheek against my chest. Reluctantly, I hug her in return.
“None of us want her to die, Dax. And she’s fine now. She’s going to be fine.”
“Until this happens again,” I mutter.
Willow pulls back from me, her eyes solemn. “Maybe. But like Regan said, maybe not. Until that time, you need to get in there and treat this like a tiny bump in the road. You need to be reassuring and supportive of her.”
My sigh is long and heavy. I hate when my sister’s fucking right. But still, because she’s shown good wisdom as well as patience with me, I admit, “I hear you.”
“I’m going to go get some coffee,” she says with a kind smile. “Want some?”
“Yeah.”
I watch until Willow is out of sight before returning to Regan’s room. I fortify myself, promise I will do right by her, then push the door open.
There’s a confident smile on my face when I walk in. She watches me carefully, so I turn up the wattage.
I stride to her bed and take her hand, squatting beside it. “Sorry I got a little wigged out. It’s my first time dealing with this type of crisis, but I am well aware it’s not yours.”
She smiles tenderly, her thumb stroking the back of my hand. She’s reassuring me when I should be doing the same for her.
“I understand this is scary stuff. But it doesn’t have to be. You just need a little time to understand how all of this works.”
“This scared the shit out of me,” I say truthfully. “But you have once again shown me how so incredibly brave and strong you are. I’m just really proud of you, Regan.”
“I’m sorry you have to go through this,” she replies. “I’m sorry I’m a burden—”
“Don’t you ever fucking say that to me again,” I snap harshly. She blinks in surprise, her mouth falling open. I gentle my voice, but reiterate, “You are not a burden. You will never be a burden. Please don’t ever feel that, because, if you do, that means I’m not doing a very good job of taking care of you.”
Regan stares, her eyes blinking slowly.
“You understand what I’m saying, Regan?” I press my point. “You coming back into my life is one of the best things to ever happen to me. A burden is the furthest thing from the truth of what you are to me.”
Slowly, she nods and whispers, “Okay. I understand.”CHAPTER 29ReganGod, it’s nice to feel human again. I actually trot down the staircase, my stomach growling with hunger.
As I turn the corner and the kitchen comes into view, I see Dax and Willow sitting at the kitchen table, both huddled over cups of coffee and talking.
I’ve been out of the hospital for two days, and I’m feeling so much better. The heavy antibiotics knocked out the upper respiratory infection. My blood has been replenished and is manufacturing my red blood cells nicely.
Dax doesn’t quite understand that. He’s been too overly attentive, hovering, which admittedly was nice at first but has now become slightly annoying.
As evidenced by the fact he jumps up from the table and asks, “What can I get you? Sit down and I’ll make you some breakfast.”
I merely point my finger at his vacated chair and order, “Sit back down. I am more than able to get my own coffee and breakfast.”
I shoot a glance at Willow, who smirks at me. I think she has secretly been enjoying watching Dax flutter around me.
Dax reluctantly sinks into his chair, and I can feel the weight of his eyes on me as I saunter over to the coffee pot.
As I’m pouring my coffee, I ask Willow, “What time are you heading to the airport today?”
“Not until about noon,” she replies.
I’m going to be sad to see her leave. She has been such an amazing support to me not only these past few days when I got sick, but also in her general acceptance of me and her brother being together. On the flip side, there’s a part of me that will be glad to have Dax back to myself. While Willow is a pure joy to have around, I can’t be free to act the way I want to with Dax.