It was a lie I was hoping he didn’t see through. I was actually heading to one of the only payphones that probably still existed. I had scraped up change in a few junk drawers and planned to use it to call the last two people I ever wanted to ask for help.
“Oh, okay then.” I nodded and turned away. “Before you go…”
Damn it.
“Yes?” I really wanted to get this phone call over with before I backed out altogether. Joey was threatening that.
“Have you talked to Anna lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“About me.”
“Joey…”
“I know what you’re going to say, but maybe she’s changed her mind!”
“Why don’t you just talk to her yourself?”
“Because…”
“Because what?”
“Because she’s beautiful,” he answered softly. His eyes shone with admiration, making me wonder just how deep his crush actually went.
“And you have trouble talking to beautiful girls?”
I wondered what that meant for me since he talked to me just fine. I wasn’t conceited, but I never considered myself unattractive either. Feeling self-conscious, I ran my fingers through my hair in a subtle attempt to improve my appearance. I suppose it’s what I got for letting stress make me not care what I looked like.
His laugh broke through my self-loathing, and I cut him with my glare. “Of course not or else I wouldn’t be able to talk to you either.” I actually blushed, but then remembered this wasn’t about me. “It’s just that I see her as someone I want to…” He blushed.
“Have sex with?”
He flinched at the bite in my tone. “No! More than that. I just don’t know how to explain what Anna means to me.”
Oh, jeez. He was in love with her!
It was sweet yet incredibly tragic since I knew without a doubt that Anna would never feel the same.
“Joey?”
“Yeah?”
“If it’s meant to be, it will be.” Jeez, that was lame but what else could I say?
He nodded and studied his feet. I expected him to argue or to launch into one of his many crazy schemes he came up with to make Anna love him, but instead, he turned with shoulders low and walked back into the building.
I stared atthe door and considered going after him but what good would it do? Lying to him wouldn’t help him either.
“And the award for World’s Biggest Asshole goes to Mian Ross,” I mumbled.* * *“This is theRoss residence.” Hearing my aunt’s nasal voice made me consider hanging up, but then, my baby boy cooed and wriggled against me with his adoring and trusting eyes staring up at me. He didn’t deserve to suffer because of my pride, so I took a deep breath.
“Aunt Gretchen, how are you?”
“Who is speaking?” The temperature drop in her tone told me she knew exactly who was speaking.
“It’s Mian.”
“Mian. Hmmm. I hope you’re well,” she answered. I could almost hear her derisive snort. “Why are you calling?”
“I—we… need your help.”
“Mian, really—”
“Please, Aunt Gretchen. I lost my job, and I’m out of money. If not for me then could you consider your great nephew?”
“I’m sorry, Mian. We gave you a chance but you chose to be just like your father. You chose to sin over God, so now you have to pay your penance. Please don’t call us again.” The line died. The only family I had left and the only way for my son or me to eat tonight had tossed me away like trash for the second time.
When I discovered I was pregnant, I was devastated and afraid. I managed to hide my pregnancy for five months. Despite my aunt’s religious beliefs and how far along I was, she demanded that I get an abortion.
“You’re to get an abortion and do it quietly.”
“Aunt Gretchen, I can’t. How could you ask me to? I thought—”
“You are not going to shame me in front of the church. Cleanse yourself of this sin or get out of my house.”
I’d been on my own ever since.
Counting out the change I had left, I realized I had enough to make one more phone call. I had to make it count.
I picked up the receiver and hoped my memory didn’t fail me now. I’d dialed it so many times in the past only to hang up that I knew it wouldn’t.
“Hello?”
“It’s Mian.” I decided to cut to the chase. My own aunt didn’t offer me the courtesy of recognition. I had no reason to believehewould.
He exhaled heavily into the phone while I held my own breath. “What do you want?”
“I’m sure you know what I want, or I wouldn’t be calling. Believe me when I say, I want nothing else from you.”
“So you think you’d just pin a baby on me to get paid?”
“You and I both know that’s not what this is about. I lost everything because of you.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yourapedme. Or don’t you remember? You should. I was the one drugged out of my mind while you had all the fun.”