“And …” Rhonda jumped in on the wake of Aurora’s big speech. “Please take some time and spend it in the word of God to cleanse your minds from all the impurity of sexual immorality. The marriage bed is sacred. We need to pray for each other, that the Lord will deliver to you a God-fearing man if that’s what your heart desires. But we cannot and should not encourage sexual intercourse or any other kind of sexual immorality outside of marriage. Just because you are no longer virgins, doesn’t mean that it’s okay to commit sexual sins—in real life or in your mind.”
Great. I had to magically control my mind while sleeping. It wasn’t like I hadn’t prayed for G-rated dreams and pure thoughts. I had. A lot. God was clearly busy with bigger things than my hate-lust relationship with Kael. Besides, after Craig died (thanks to my perfect meltdown timing), I’d been questioning the status of my salvation.My non-virgin daughter wasn’t home when I walked into the nearly empty house. Meadow greeted me for five seconds, and then she disappeared, returning silence to my new existence. After perusing the lackluster contents of my fridge, I ordered takeout and stopped by the store on my way so I had some fresh fruit for the next morning.
“Great minds …” Kael pushed open the door to the Mexican restaurant just as I grabbed the handle to open it. Spices and the aroma of charred meat and chilies wafted past me along with the heat from the crowded building. “After you, Mrs. Smith.” He stepped back and held it open for me.
My hackles were up, but my tongue remained idle because of all the things Rachel said about his Good Samaritan work in Epperly for people who really needed it.
Dang it! I was a sucker for that sort of kindness, hence the reason I was still working at a store I didn’t love for in-laws that I did love. It was the reason they were still in their house, and the reason I took care of their chores and did their grocery shopping.
But … I wasn’t a sucker for him, so I forced a tight smile and brief eye contact as I stepped inside the restaurant. A soft “thank you” squeaked past my throat, showing my own unavoidable kindness.
Before he could say anything, I hustled to the takeout counter and breathed a sigh of relief. My body did weird things around him—things I didn’t consciously welcome. It was all the sex talk at the church meeting earlier. Sex talk and church in the same sentence—never saw that coming.
After paying for my half-order of veggie fajitas and guacamole, I snagged my to-go bag and headed outside to my vehicle just as a new round of snow fell from the night sky. Epperly wasn’t immune to early lake-effect snow. After scorching heat and drought all summer, most everyone welcomed the moisture and cooler temperatures.
“Heard we’re supposed to get another foot or so.”
That voice. How did God expect me to keep my dreams clean and thoughts pure with Satan, disguised as Captain America, and constantly breathing down my neck?
I ignored him as I opened the door to my SUV.
“Want me to plow your driveway in the morning?”
“No. No. No. No,” I whispered only to myself as my impure mind let other plowing images come to life. Keeping my head in the vehicle, I set the bag on the passenger’s seat and took several deep breaths.
Sexual immorality. Sexual immorality. Sexual immorality.
As I stood straight again, he shut his truck door and sauntered toward me, looking entirely too hot and young in his cargo pants, tan boots, pullover jacket, and beanie. Without the beard, I felt certain he would have looked fifteen.
“I have a snowblower, but thanks.” I tugged at my scarf, cringing at the itchiness against my sweaty skin.
“It’s no big deal. Three swipes.” He wet his lips.
Why? Why wet your lips and say three swipes?
“I’ll be in and out in no time.”
Please, God … make it stop!
With a nervous laugh, I averted my gaze. “I can do it myself.” Biting my lips together, I closed my eyes for a few seconds. I had to hope he wasn’t interpreting my words with the maturity of a teenager like I’d been doing.
Kael innocently referenced snow removal while I imagined sex the whole time.
He took two steps closer, resting his hand on the top of my open door. “I’m sure you can, but why go to all that work when I’m right here … offering to do it for you?”
On a nervous laugh, I yanked my scarf completely off. Steam rose from my body like a hot tub at a ski resort. “I’m sure you can.” My gaze avoided his like repelling magnets.
“What’s that look about?”
I shook my head.