‘And even less am I Sche – what’s her name! I never can tell a story properly, ask Arthur if you don’t believe me.’
‘You’re quite good at the facts, Dolly,’ said Colonel Bantry, ‘but poor at the embroidery.’
‘That’s just it,’ said Mrs Bantry. She flapped the bulb catalogue she was holding on the table in front of her. ‘I’ve been listening to you all and I don’t know how you do it. “He said, she said, you wondered, they thought, everyone implied” – well, I just couldn’t and there it is! And besides I don’t know anything to tell a story about.’
‘We can’t believe that, Mrs Bantry,’ said Dr Lloyd. He shook his grey head in mocking disbelief.
Old Miss Marple said in her gentle voice: ‘Surely dear –’
Mrs Bantry continued obstinately to shake her head.
‘You don’t know how banal my life is. What with the servants and the difficulties of getting scullery maids, and just going to town for clothes, and dentists, and Ascot (which Arthur hates) and then the garden –’
‘Ah!’ said Dr Lloyd. ‘The garden. We all know where your heart lies, Mrs Bantry.’
‘It must be nice to have a garden,’ said Jane Helier, the beautiful young actress. ‘That is, if you hadn’t got to dig, or to get your hands messed up. I’m ever so fond of flowers.’
‘The garden,’ said Sir Henry. ‘Can’t we take that as a starting point? Come, Mrs B. The poisoned bulb, the deadly daffodils, the herb of death!’
‘Now it’s odd your saying that,’ said Mrs Bantry. ‘You’ve just reminded me. Arthur, do you remember that business at Clodderham Court? You know. Old Sir Ambrose Bercy. Do you remember what a courtly charming old man we thought him?’
‘Why, of course. Yes, that was a strange business. Go ahead, Dolly.’
‘You’d better tell it, dear.’
‘Nonsense. Go ahead. Must paddle your own canoe. I did my bit just now.’
Mrs Bantry drew a deep breath. She clasped her hands and her face registered complete mental anguish. She spoke rapidly and fluently.
‘Well, there’s really not much to tell. The Herb of Death – that’s what put it into my head, though in my own mind I call it sage and onions.’
‘Sage and onions?’ asked Dr Lloyd.
Mrs Bantry nodded.
‘That was how it happened you see,’ she explained. ‘We were staying, Arthur and I, with Sir Ambrose Bercy at Clodderham Court, and one day, by mistake (though very stupidly, I’ve always thought) a lot of foxglove leaves were picked with the sage. The ducks for dinner that night were stuffed with it and everyone was very ill, and one poor girl – Sir Ambrose’s ward – died of it.’
She stopped. ‘Dear, dear,’ said Miss Marple, ‘how very tragic.’
‘Wasn’t it?’
‘Well,’ said Sir Henry, ‘what next?’
‘There isn’t any next,’ said Mrs Bantry, ‘that’s all.’
Everyone gasped. Though warned beforehand, they had not expected quite such brevity as this.
‘But, my dear lady,’ remonstrated Sir Henry, ‘it can’t be all. What you have related is a tragic occurrence, but not in any sense of the word a problem.’
‘Well, of course there’s some more,’ said Mrs Bantry. ‘But if I were to tell you it, you’d know what it was.’
She looked defiantly round the assembly and said plaintively: ‘I told you I couldn’t dress things up and make it sound properly like a story ought to do.’
‘Ah ha!’ said Sir Henry. He sat up in his chair and adjusted an eyeglass. ‘Really, you know, Scheherazade, this is most refreshing. Our ingenuity is challenged. I’m not so sure you haven’t done it on purpose – to stimulate our curiosity. A few brisk rounds of “Twenty Questions” is indicated, I think. Miss Marple, will you begin?’
‘I’d like to know something about the cook,’ said Miss Marple. ‘She must have been a very stupid woman, or else very inexperienced.’
‘She was just very stupid,’ said Mrs Bantry. ‘She cried a great deal afterwards and said the leaves had been picked and brought in to her as sage, and how was she to know?’
‘Not one who thought for herself,’ said Miss Marple. ‘Probably an elderly woman and, I dare say, a very good cook?’
‘Oh! excellent,’ said Mrs Bantry. ‘Your turn, Miss Helier,’ said Sir Henry. ‘Oh! You mean – to ask a question?’ There was a pause while Jane pondered. Finally she said helplessly, ‘Really – I don’t know what to ask.’
Her beautiful eyes looked appealingly at Sir Henry.
‘Why not dramatis personae, Miss Helier?’ he suggested smiling. Jane still looked puzzled. ‘Characters in order of their appearance,’ said Sir Henry gently. ‘Oh, yes,’ said Jane. ‘That’s a good idea.’
Mrs Bantry began briskly to tick people off on her fingers.
‘Sir Ambrose – Sylvia Keene (that’s the girl who died) – a friend of hers who was staying there, Maud Wye, one of those dark ugly girls who manage to make an effort somehow – I never know how they do it. Then there was a Mr Curle who had come down to discuss books with Sir Ambrose – you know, rare books – queer old things in Latin – all musty parchment. There was Jerry Lorimer – he was a kind of next door neigh-bour. His place, Fairlies, joined Sir Ambrose’s estate. And there was Mrs Carpenter, one of those middle-aged pussies who always seem to manage to dig themselves in comfortably somewhere. She was by way of being dame de compagnie to Sylvia, I suppose.’
‘If it is my turn,’ said Sir Henry, ‘and I suppose it is, as I’m sitting next to Miss Helier, I want a good deal. I want a short verbal portrait, please, Mrs Bantry, of all the foregoing.’
‘Oh!’ Mrs Bantry hesitated. ‘Sir Ambrose now,’ continued Sir Henry. ‘Start with him. What was he like?’
‘Oh! he was a very distinguished-looking old man – and not so very old really – not more than sixty, I suppose. But he was very delicate – he had a weak heart, could never go upstairs – he had to have a lift put in, and so that made him seem older than he was. Very charming manners – courtly – that’s the word that describes him best. You never saw him ruffled or upset. He had beautiful white hair and a particularly charming voice.’
‘Good,’ said Sir Henry. ‘I see Sir Ambrose. Now the girl Sylvia – what did you say her name was?’
‘Sylvia Keene. She was pretty – really very pretty. Fair-haired, you know, and a lovely skin. Not, perhaps, very clever. In fact, rather stupid.’
‘Oh! come, Dolly,’ protested her husband.
‘Arthur, of course, wouldn’t think so,’ said Mrs Bantry drily. ‘But she was stupid – she really never said anything worth listening to.’
‘One of the most graceful creatures I ever saw,’ said Colonel Bantry warmly. ‘See her playing tennis – charming, simply charming. And she was full of fun – most amusing little thing. And such a pretty way with her. I bet the young fellows all thought so.’
‘That’s just where you’re wrong,’ said Mrs Bantry. ‘Youth, as such, has no charms for young men nowadays. It’s only old buffers like you, Arthur, who sit maundering on about young girls.’
‘Being young’s no good,’ said Jane. ‘You’ve got to have SA.’
‘What,’ said Miss Marple, ‘is SA?’
‘Sex appeal,’ said Jane.
‘Ah! yes,’ said Miss Marple. ‘What in my day they used to call “having the come hither in your eye”.’
‘Not a bad description,’ said Sir Henry. ‘The dame de compagnie you described, I think, as a pussy, Mrs Bantry?’
‘I didn’t mean a cat, you know,’ said Mrs Bantry. ‘It’s quite different. Just a big soft white purry person. Always very sweet. That’s what Adelaide Carpenter was like.’
‘What sort of aged woman?’
‘Oh! I should say fortyish. She’d been there some time – ever since Sylvia was eleven, I believe. A very tactful person. One of those widows left in unfortunate circumstances with plenty of aristocratic relations, but no ready cash. I didn’t like her
myself – but then I never do like people with very white long hands. And I don’t like pussies.’
‘Mr Curle?’
‘Oh! one of those elderly stooping men. There are so many of them about, you’d hardly know one from the other. He showed enthusiasm when talking about his musty books, but not at any other time. I don’t think Sir Ambrose knew him very well.’
‘And Jerry next door?’
‘A really charming boy. He was engaged to Sylvia. That’s what made it so sad.’
‘Now I wonder –’ began Miss Marple, and then stopped. ‘What?’