‘I didn’t use a condom,’ Jax groaned in her ear as he slowly lowered her back to her own feet. ‘Is that likely to be a problem?’
‘Hopefully not,’ Lucy muttered after doing some quick calculations and without looking directly at him as she stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel. ‘It’s the wrong time of the month.’
What had he meant by that question? Was he asking her if she was willing to get pregnant again? Or was he worrying that she would conceive? And for that matter, was she willing to take that risk? Lucy thought not. She had not had an easy pregnancy the first time around and was not in a hurry to do it again, particularly when she did not yet feel secure with Jax. Even so, if she did conceive she would still welcome and love her baby.
But then what would it take for her to feel truly secure with Jax? she asked herself. Perhaps she was her own worst enemy and had quite unrealistic expectations of a marriage in which only one of them loved. She might not like the reality but their relationship was bound to be unbalanced with one of them wanting and hoping for more than the other.
*
‘Did you know that the contents of that file were a complete fiction?’
‘What do you want me to tell you?’ Heracles slapped the file on Lucy back onto his desk and sighed heavily. ‘I will not lie. I did what I felt I had to do.’
Sharply disconcerted, Jax tensed even more, anger roaring through his tall, powerful frame because he had somehow expected the older man to try and evade his very direct question. ‘Why did you think you had to do anything? Why did you even think that it was your place to interfere? It wasn’t as though I was talking about marrying her—’
‘Jax…in the space of two weeks, you flew back to Spain five times to see her,’ Heracles traded defiantly. ‘That was enough for me to view her as a serious contender for something and when I discovered that she was the daughter of Kreon Thiarkis, well, to be really blunt…that was that. Thiarkis is a slippery customer, always has been, always will be and I will not apologise for not wanting a criminal’s daughter involved with my family.’
‘I know Kreon’s history,’ Jax interposed harshly. ‘I know what he is and I can understand your concern but I was twenty-six years old, not a teenager, and you had no right to interfere.’
The older man stood his ground. ‘I know I had no right but I didn’t care. Years ago I watched Thiarkis charm my deluded first wife into paying for his legal representation in court when he was charged with fraud—’
‘Two years ago, Lucy hadn’t even met her father,’ Jax pointed out rawly. ‘What I had with her was our business alone, nothing to do with your ongoing distaste for Thiarkis. And far be it from me to say a word in Kreon’s defence but for over thirty years he held onto a letter that would have made his fortune had he sold it to the press…’
Jax settled the letter Lucy had given him down on the desk. ‘Your first wife confessed her sins on paper during her last days.’
His father turned grey before his eyes and dropped down suddenly into his office chair, studying the letter as if it were a cobra likely to strike out at him. ‘Sofia was never discreet,’ he muttered heavily. ‘Are you telling me I have to thank Thiarkis for his restraint?’
‘No,’ Jax breathed in a driven undertone, having decided not to reveal the secret of Kreon’s blackmail. ‘But it’s time you came to terms with the fact that he is Lucy’s father and stopped visiting your experiences and your resentments on my life. I’m not Argo—’
‘I know you’re not,’ Heracles acknowledged grimly. ‘Argo always did as he was told and you won’t, which is why I went behind your back in the first place. I assumed she would be wrong for you.’
‘She’s not,’ Jax bit out curtly. ‘But because of that file I treated her badly and now I have to tell her why.’
Heracles compressed his lips in disapproval. ‘Do you? I don’t think that’s a good idea. A wise man shares nothing with his wife but a bed.’
‘Three wives and you still don’t know better?’ Jax derided with seething bite. ‘Well, I do know better and I will not tolerate your meddling in my life. If you ever do anything like this again, I’m out.’
‘You can’t mean that,’ Heracles breathed in consternation.
‘I do. Blood counts but family counts more and you were out of my life for too many years to be considered family in the same way that I consider my wife and my daughter. They come first…always.’
Simmering with angry frustration, Jax sat in his limo in the heavy Athens traffic mulling over that confrontation. Heracles had finally apologised and at least his father had at last told him the truth. Jax hated secrets. He had grown up in an atmosphere of secrecy, continually urged never to tell anyone that his mother was ‘ill’, pregnant or involved with a man. As a boy, he had reacted to those warnings by deciding to never tell anyone at school that the famous Spanish movie star was his mother. It had been a rather pathetic ploy considering that the name Antonakos was too well known and just about everyone who was anyone knew his father had divorced Mariana for having an affair with one of her co-stars. But the practice of keeping his thoughts and feelings and personal details strictly private had been taught to him when he was very young and had become a habit he couldn’t shake…until he’d met Lucy and told her things he had never told anyone before.
And if he was honest that experience had totally unnerved him two years earlier. He had seen that he was veering into dangerous territory and had feared getting too involved with a woman again. Feared? No, obviously he had been in no hurry to admit that to himself. His mother had been frighteningly volatile, constantly ranging between high and low moods while using drugs as a crutch to get her through the day. Freed by Mariana’s death from the powerful conviction that it was his responsibility to look after her, Jax had decided that emotion was a weakness and that a sensible man steered clear of it. Most of the time that had worked very well for him.
Until he’d met Lucy…
Until he’d met Bella…
Jax poured himself a stiff drink and drank it down. He had to tell Lucy. How could he not tell her? He reminded himself that she had married him even after what he had done in Spain. He reminded himself that she seemed happy. He didn’t have to love her to make her happy. Hadn’t he already proved that? Together they had the fathers from hell. Not her fault, not his fault either. He would give her the facts. She would be angry and hurt but she would forgive him. Jax knew he wasn’t the forgiving type but he was convinced from recent experience that Lucy was. They had signed up to be a family for Bella’s benefit. And that would be Lucy’s bottom line because more than anything else, Jax reminded himself doggedly, after a life of turmoil Lucy craved security.
And he offered security, he offered a lot of security, he reflected with growing assurance. But it still really bothered him that she wasn’t clingier and more open with him. The Lucy he remembered in Spain had been distinctly needy and clingy and, although he ran a mile from that trait in other women, for some reason he had liked that attribute in Lucy as much as he had liked her once flaky tell-all chatter. He had liked it when he was the first person she looked for in a room, when he was the only one she really smiled at or noticed, when she wrapped herself round him all night as though she was afraid he might attempt an escape. He had liked being told that he was loved even if in the end it had all turned out to be a lie.
But she didn’t do those things any more even though he wanted her to. She was wary. Of course she was, he conceded, struggling to be fair, so, putting the truth out there was a sensible move, he told himself squarely. He would tell her what had really happened and she would forgive him because that was what Lucy did. And what choice would she have? a more cynical voice enquired. After all, she had betrayed his trust too…
*
‘He’s treating you well?’ Kreon prompted while Iola was playing in the garden with Bella.
‘Yes,’ Lucy told her father flatly. ‘But I won’t discuss Jax with you.’
‘A wife should be loyal to her husband,’ Kreon remarked equably. ‘I simply wanted you to be happy—’
‘I can only be happy with a man who is happy to be with me,’ Lucy countered drily, resisting the urge to remind him that he hadn’t thought of that angle.
But with Jax being the very practical but reserved male that he was, he was more likely to make the best of a bad job than try to wriggle out of the commitment, particularly when his daughter was involved. Lucy showered and changed while telling herself that she had absolutely nothing to complain about. Whatever else, she was married to the love of her life. There was nothing she could do about the fact that she had only gained a wedding ring through her father’s dirty tricks. But she knew that somewhere in the back of Jax’s astute brain he would probably always associate her with her father’s treachery and would never quite forgive her for his lack of choice and loss of freedom.
‘He gave in to me very easily. That is not an Antonakos trait,’ Kreon argued.
‘Obviously he cares about his father.’