Tell me what you would like?
In her mind Natalie heard those words spoken in a way that changed their meaning dramatically. Her soft lips parted as a sigh snagged in her dry throat. Mike had never asked her what she’d wanted, and even if he had—an unimaginable scenario!—she doubted she could have told him. There had always been a restricting self-consciousness in the physical side of their relationship.
Natalie had sometimes wondered a little wistfully if the mind-blowing sex of legend, the sort where you forgot where you ended and your lover began, actually existed. She had come to the conclusion that if it did she was not likely to experience it. Self-awareness was a good thing, but it was still dreadfully depressing to acknowledge that you were just too inhibited to ever experience the pleasures of head-banging, no-holds-barred sex.
Though he hadn’t come right out and said so, Mike had managed to reinforce this belief with the few things he’d casually let slip about his vastly improved love life with the sexually insatiable Gabby. It was impossible to avoid coming to the inevitable conclusion that the fault must lie with her.
I’m just not a sexy, throw-caution-to-the-wind woman, which is probably why I married the first man I slept with who was my childhood sweetheart to boot!
She sighed, a dreamy expression drifting into her eyes as they dwelt speculatively on the strong features of the man who had spoken…the sensual curve of his mouth did not suggest he was overly encumbered with inhibitions. Looking at it made her breathing quicken and her tummy muscles quiver in a painfully pleasurable way.
Would Rafael be the sort of lover who would…?
With a horrified gasp Natalie pulled a veil across that dangerous line of speculation. Her neatly trimmed nails pressed half-moons into the soft flesh of her palms when, despite her best efforts, tantalising little glimpses of what lay behind that veil kept intruding in a deeply distracting manner.
In an angry gesture she flicked her head, sending her pony-tail whooshing silkily backwards. ‘So that’s what this is about!’ she cried contemptuously.
Rafe watched, his blue eyes unwillingly held captive as her explosive action dislodged several more silky strands of hair from her pony-tail. If he had his way she’d never tie her hair back but wear it loose. In his mind he saw it lying straight and fine down her narrow, naked back almost reaching a waist he could span with his hands—though to know this for sure he’d have to put the theory to the test…
He cleared his throat and reached up to loosen the tie at his throat. ‘Define “this”.’
As if he didn’t know! Maybe it was time they got this out in the open even if it did mean she lost her job.
‘I turned down that stupid offer of fast-track promotion…’ she continued carelessly, brushing a stray section of hair off her face with the back of her hand. She could see a vee of brown skin where he’d undone the top button of his shirt. She ran her tongue over the dry outline of her lips as she watched his long brown fingers release the second button.
She released her baited breath in a gusty sigh as the fabric parted.
And I’m the one who always wondered what women get from watching men strip…hell, I’m getting hot and bothered over an innocent extra square centimetre of bare flesh! I’ve clearly lost it.
‘Stupid…?’ Rafael shrugged. ‘I suppose,’ he conceded wryly, ‘in retrospect it was stupid, but at the time I actually thought I was giving you an opportunity most people in your situation dream about.’
His scornful tone made her flush angrily. ‘Out of the goodness of your heart, no doubt,’ she sneered irrationally—since when had business been about kindness? ‘What was I meant to do with a young child when I got the word to hotfoot it to New York like Luke…shove her in my hand luggage?’
Rafe looked taken aback by her aggressive question. The line between his dark brows deepened as he shook his head. ‘If that was the only problem why didn’t you say so at the time?’
Only problem? That he could imply she was making a fuss about nothing added insult to injury.
‘Why? So you could tell me you’re not a social worker.’ That had been Maggie’s response when she had attempted to explain her dilemma to the other woman. She had gone on to warn Natalie that Mr Ransome would not be interested in her lame excuses either.
You girls these days expect it all ways. Natalie had been deeply humiliated by the contemptuous criticism; she had vowed never to give anyone the opportunity to level that accusation at her again.
His dark brows knitted. ‘Social worker?’ he repeated, looking genuinely perplexed. ‘Being a single parent is hardly so unusual these days, is it? In fact,’ he added drily, ‘it’s almost the norm. Half the people I know are on their second or third marriage.’
But not him. Rafe seemed one of those men who were allergic to marriage. ‘More fool them.’
‘You sound bitter,’ he observed.
‘I’m not bitter, just cautious,’ she countered.
‘Cautious about what?’ he persisted. ‘Men or marriage?’
‘One is a nice idea, the other…well, just look at yourself.’ The righteously indignant expression faded from her face as she followed her own advice. She stifled an appreciative sigh; he really was the most stunningly perfect male imaginable.
‘Me…?’
‘Well everyone knows you have the staying power of a two-year-old when it comes to women. Yet I suppose one day you’ll meet the right woman and get married,’ she predicted sourly. ‘It’s just not logical to suppose that your personality will change overnight…’ Her voice faded as she encountered the blankly astonished expression on his face. It occurred to her that her evangelical enthusiasm for the subject had made her go too far. ‘Well, it seems that way to me anyhow…’ she added with a touch of husky defiance.
Rafe inhaled deeply and rocked back on his heels. ‘So it seems to you I am a shallow womaniser, who will sleep with the maid of honour at my own wedding.’ Cold ice scanned her dismayed face. ‘Have I got that right…?’ he enquired in a cuttingly satirical drawl.
‘Oh, dear, I’ve upset you.’ An understatement, she thought, regarding his taut expression with growing dismay. Well, at least there was no need to watch what she said any more—she had obviously t
alked herself out of a job.
Rafe brought his teeth together in a wolf-like smile. ‘How long did you say you were married for?’
‘I didn’t, but it was two years.’
‘That long?’ he drawled insultingly.
‘There’s no need to be personal.’ He released an incredulous laugh and she blushed. ‘I’m just trying to say that a lot of men are…’
‘Congenitally incapable of fidelity,’ he finished smoothly. ‘Whereas women never stray.’
‘Of course they do.’
‘Did you?’
‘Chance would be a fine thing!’ she snorted. ‘When Mike walked out Rose was three months old.’ As far as straying went, any idiot could figure out that this ruled out the twelve months prior to their separation. And afterwards, well… ‘Would you want an affair with a woman who had a baby or young child?’ she added cynically.
‘Some people seem to be able to combine being a mother and lover…’
The fact he had avoided the question was not lost on Natalie. ‘Whereas I can’t even combine it with a career.’
Rafe released an exasperated sigh from between his clenched teeth. ‘Self-pity doesn’t suit you,’ he observed drily. His brow creased. ‘Wouldn’t a nanny solve your problem? Or an au pair?’
Natalie gave an incredulous snort of laughter; nobody was that naïve, surely! She searched his face—he was serious! What world did this guy live in? Not one where you juggled half a dozen tasks simultaneously and did your supermarket shopping with a fretful child dragging along at your side.
No, Rafe lived in the glamorous world of the élite, flash cars, and flashier women, film premières and weekend skiing trips. It was hardly surprising that it was his world that sold newspapers and magazines to people whose own lives, like her own, were humdrum by comparison.
‘Oh!’ she cried, lifting a hand to her brow. ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’ Her eyes narrowed. ‘Maybe,’ she added crisply, ‘because I couldn’t afford to pay for a full-time live-in nanny or even half a full-time nanny,’ she added thoughtfully. ‘The fact is you have it in for me,’ she spelt out before he had a chance to respond, ‘because I had the temerity to turn down that job offer!’