”You also said that you wouldn’t marry. .someone
like me” 1 believe was the term you used.’
She winced, and then up came her chin.
‘so 1 changed my mind? It would be better if you could just forget some of the stuff 1 said that morning.’
‘1 have a photographic memory. To recap-marriage is your condition’?’
‘Gosh, did it sound like 1 was pointing a loaded shot-gun at you’?’
Not a flicker of expression revealed Cristiano’s opinion on that score. alt’s my |rst proposal. 1 have no basis for comparison.’
Mortification was welling up through her like a fountain.
”You are obviously trying to avoid saying no.
That’s okay-don’t worry about it. I’m really not bothered,’
she framed as jaggedly as broken glass.
Cristiano cleared his throat.
It belatedly dawned on Lydia that the chauffeur had opened the door for her to alight. She scrambled out and headed at a speedy rate of knots into yhe palazzo. She was so embarrassed she wanted to curl up and die. She had asked him to marry her! How could she have done that? All right, so she had regretted turning him down outright.
She’d known that even the direst torture would not persuade him to mention the idea again. But she should’ve been more subtle. Tears of hurt and anger were stinging her eyes.
Abruptly she spun back to him in the hall.
‘lt’s because you think I’m a thief, isn’t it? Well, maybe that’s not as cut and dried as you believe. 1 mean…maybe I didn ‘t take the money! Has that idea ever occurred to you? Did you ever wonder what 1 did with two hundred and fifty grand when 1 was renting a house that would fit under your stairs’?’
‘on several occasions,’ Cristiano admitted.
”You have no decent jewels, no expensive possessions, and from what 1 have so far seen no extravagant habits. But you could have been in serious debt.’
Lydia had fallen silent. She worried at the soft underside of her full lower lip. She hated him thinking that she was dishonest. At the outset of their relationship she had been too desperate for help to worry, and too bitter to care about his opinion of her.
But now Cristiano’s view of her mattered a great deal, and she really did want to tell him the truth. After all, now the missing funds had been replaced, she reasoned anxiously, did she need to continue the pretence that she had stolen the charity money? Just as quickly as she thought that, she realized that she still had good reason for keeping quiet on that score.
Cristiano could be very black and white in his outlook, un-forgiving and intolerant of shades of grey. Suppose she admitted the truth and he decided to report her mother to the police? Was that still possible? She had no idea. But she did suspect that Cristiano would react badly to the news. Trusting him with too much information might compromise everything she had so far done to protect Virginia.
Right now, Cristiano was not only keen to help her find her mother, but he also had the resources to do so. If she admitted that Virginia was the guilty party who had helped herself to charitable funds, would he still be so willing? It was certain to affect his attitude. At the very least he would be furious that she had let him credit a lie.
Cristiano pressed a firm hand to her slender spine and urged her into the grand drawing room. He leant back against the door, his shrewd gaze intent on her troubled face.
”You’re wondering whether or not to tell me something, bella mia. Let me make that decision for you. Now that 1 know that there’s a secret, there will be no peace on this earth for you until you tell all.’
”There’s no secret…’ Suddenly the very last thing Lydia wanted to do was open a controversial subject that would annoy him.
”You can tell me anything.’
”There’s nothing to tell.’
‘lt’s a very bad idea to lie to me,’
Cristiano warned her with chilling softness, dark eyes shorn of gold enticement.
‘You’re not a good liar either.’
Her colour fluctuated, a tight knot of alarm forming in her tummy. The atmosphere had dropped several degrees in the blink of an eye.
‘lt’s not something that would hurt you.’
‘perhaps I’m not prepared to let you make that judgement call.’
‘Please…it’s not important,’ she protested.
‘lf I’m going to marry you, 1 need to know 1 can trust you. So you think about that angle, and work out whether or not you have something you want to share with me,’
Cristiano advised with devastating cool as he walked over to the tall window and swung back round to face her.
”That’s blackmail! ‘ Lydia condemned in consternation.
Cristiano shrugged with magnificent disregard of the effect that it would have on restoring peaceful relations.
‘lt is me telling you like it is.’
‘1 don’t want to marry you anyway! ‘ she launched back at him in angry frustration.
Cristiano released a weary groan. ‘Dio mia, please don’t start that refrain again.’
”Why? Do you find it so hard to believe that I wouldn’t want to marry you’?’
Brilliant golden eyes struck literal sparks off her challenging blue gaze.
‘1 have my reasons.’
‘Explain those reasons.’
‘1 don’t want to.’
‘1 don’t like secrets either.’
‘Let’s wind this down,’ Cristiano breathed with sudden impatience.
”This is not a conversation we need to have-‘
‘Yes, it is. 1 want to know why you are so certain that 1 want to marry you! ‘
Cristiano shifted lean brown hands in a silencing gesture.
”This is getting very childish.’
If anything, that comment only made Lydia even angrier.
‘You shouldn’t say things that you can’t justify’ Cristiano shot her a glittering glance, strode over to the desk, extracted something from a drawer and set it out.
”You shouldn’t challenge me… ‘
Lydia stared at the familiar photo, which she had last seen when she was packing up her possessions in Wales.
Immediately she realized that she must have overlooked it and left it lying on the windowsill. Confronted with it in Italy, however, she could not credit her eyesight and was literally struck dumb. Where had he got it from? Cristiano watched every scrap of colour ebb from beneath her translucent skin and cursed his competitive instincts and his temper. He wondered why his cool logic always let him down around her. As he approached her she sidestepped him in an abrupt movement, snatched up the old photo frame and clasped it in front of her.
‘1 shouldn’t have shown you,’ he said flatly.
‘How did you get hold of this? 1 think you owe me an explanation for that at least.’
He told her about Gwenna’s visit to his office.
She swallowed hard, imagining how shocked her cousin would have been by that contract. Gwenna certainly wouldn’t have intended to embarrass her. But that Cristiiano should have seen that photograph stripped Lydia of all pride. Her biggest secret, and Cristiano now knew that he had been her idol when she was a brainless little teenager, with nothing better to do than mope over a guy she’d never met. Her sense of humiliation knew no bounds.
For goodness’ sake, had her cousin also let drop that Lydia had referred to Cristiano as the love of her life? Feeling literally sick with mortification, she yanked open the door.
‘Lydia…’ Cristiano breathed.
‘Where are you going’?’ ‘
‘1 need fresh air! ‘
She raced down the hall, pausing only to scoop up the keys of the sports car he had said she was free to use.
‘1 don’t want you driving in the mood you’re in! ‘ Nothing could have made Lydia more determined to get into a car.
The sleek little Lamborghini gunned down the long drive at a satisfying pace-fast enough to g
ive him pause for thought-but she slowed right down the minute she rounded a corner and was no longer within sight. That wretched juvenile picture of him! Why had she ever kept it? Her teeth gritted. She headed up the steep twisting road to the little fortified hill town at the top.
Parking the car beside a medieval church, she walked down a flight of worn steps to the sunny piazza. She ordered a soft drink at the wine bar where she had sat with Cristiano one everting a week earlier. Everyone who’d walked by had known him. The local priest had joined them for a glass of wine. There had been a constant procession of people wandering up to exchange news with Cristiano. She had noticed that here in the town he had known since childhood he was very relaxed.
She loved him, so what if he suspected that? Was her pride more important to her than her happiness? And hadn’t he been right to say that if they were going to marry they should have no secrets from each other? Now that her angry mortification had had a chance to cool, she was willing to admit that she liked that idea.
That was a good solid principle on which to base a relationship-so why was she refusing to trust him with the truth about the Happy Holidays money? Cristiano brought his Ferrari to a far from cool halt beside the Lamborghini and leapt out. He could not understand why he had shown her that photo. It had just a bloody insensitive thing to do! But why had she taken off like that? Where was she? He glanced inside the church. He strode over to the low wall which warned the unwary of the sheer terrifying drop into the valley far below. If anything had happened to her, he would never forgive himself.