Chapter Nineteen
Shepard
Pregnant.
My wife is pregnant with our third child! After everything that’s happened today, that was the last thing I expected Lynette to tell me.
“Pregnant?” I whisper without taking my eyes or my hand from her stomach.
“I wanted to tell you earlier today, but we ended up at Taylor’s. Then she told me that she lost her baby not long ago, and how she can’t carry another one.”
“Jesus!” I hiss. Jack never mentioned anything to me. I understand why today would have been difficult to bring it up, but before this? He must have been going through hell, and he didn’t come to me. I can’t be angry or annoyed about that, Jack will have had his reasons, and they are his and his alone. He’ll speak to me when he’s ready, and I’ll be there to listen and give him the support he needs.
“God, I felt so awful, Vince.”
“Why?”
“Because my best friend lost her baby, and I feel so sorry for her, yet even after everything that happened today,” Her little hands cover mine on her stomach. “Our baby is still in there. I know because I feel it. I was a little scared that I’d lost it, but I haven’t.” Her eyes lock with mine, those beautiful big green eyes shining with sadness.
I have to admit, the second she said she was pregnant, I panicked inside that something could be wrong. Lynette has been through hell and back today, yet she’s still trying to convince me that everything is fine. Lynette is too proud to cry over what happened, but she doesn’t need to be brave or proud right now.
I take Lynette’s face in my hands and tell her, “You don’t have to put on a brave face for me, Lynette. I know you’re strong, but you don’t need to pretend everything is okay.” Tears fill those beautiful green eyes, and it cuts me deeply. I hate to see her crying, but I have to be the strong one right now.
My thumbs stroke under her eyes, collecting the tears that are now falling. “Vincent,” I pull her to me, and she sobs into my shoulder. I rub her back gently while telling her that everything is okay now. For now, it is.
However, there is always going to be someone out there who will come along and try to ruin the life we’ve built for ourselves and our kids. Any day now, some cunt could come along and take what’s mine away from me. The sad thing is? I could be the fucking Hulk, and it wouldn’t make a difference to what could happen to them.
I keep what’s mine protected to the best of my ability. Every form of protection I can afford is mine, but I’m just one man; I can’t be everywhere all at once.
Willow will be leaving soon for college. She’ll be watched from afar. I’ll make damn sure no one can get to her. My wife from now on will be shadowed when she’s not with me. Even though that’s fucking awful, I can’t risk anything happening to her again. No matter what I have to do, I will keep her safe. I will because the thought of ever losing her... I can’t even tell you what it would do to me. Lynette is my soulmate, to lose her would mean losing myself.
Jett is at the stage in his life where he’s quite capable of taking care of himself. He tells me enough. Hell, he proves it every day. I’ll always look out for Jett, but I know deep down that I don’t have to worry about him.
VJ is already smart and knows just what to do when someone approaches you and tries to take you away. He’s showing signs of a young man who’s detached from the world. He never cries, and he never gets emotional about anything. Just like when Apollo died, VJ brushes things off as though they never happened. His anger and sense of self-belief are bordering on psychotic. That’s not a pleasant thought to have about a child who isn’t even seven years old yet, but I know where this is heading. I know my son is going to be a dangerous man with no sense of guilt or regret. I know that I need to teach VJ not to let his compulsions control him. He’ll need to learn that he’s the master of his destiny.
My Maxy, I’m not sure yet what kind of man he’ll turn out to be. I do know that he’s kind and compassionate. Max isn’t going to grow up to be like Jett, nor whom VJ will become, the biker, not the psychopath. Max is going to be a race car driver. Grand Prix if Max has his way.
Now there’s this new baby, boy or girl they will be my life just as their siblings are. Then there’s Nova, the little girl I still, to this day, cannot find. Nothing I do, no amount of men I pay to look for her, to find anything of where she might be, brings me any information that would help me find her.
I hold in my heart the hope that I’ll one day see my little girl again. It’s too painful to think of what kind of life she’s been leading with Celia. It destroys me every day to believe that she might not be taking care of Nova correctly.
My baby girl is sixteen years old now. Nine years of her life, I have missed out on. I can never get those years back. Celia took that time from me, and I will never forgive her.
If I do find Nova what will she think of me? I have no idea what Celia has told that little girl about me, but I know she’ll have poisoned Nova against me. When I find her, she might not want anything to do with me. She could hate me for all I know. That thought alone kills me.
I have so much to live for, so much to be grateful for. I have my beautiful wife, my beautiful daughter, my sons, but I can never be whole until I find Nova.
Lynette moans softly against my neck. I hold her tighter against my body. Hers fits against mine like a glove, always has. I kiss her head. “Everything is okay, baby. Nothing is ever gonna happen to you again.”
“I know, handsome. I’ve got you, and you've got me.”
“That's right,” Despite myself, I smile. Soulmates we are. Two halves of the same coin.
Lynette has fallen asleep in my arms. I’m not surprised after the day she’s had. I lift her up and carry her upstairs to our bedroom. I lie her down, she stirs a little but doesn’t wake. I watch her for a moment with a smile on my face.
I scrub my hands over my face. I don’t think I’ve ever been this tired in my whole life. I shuck off the jeans, and the shirt BlackJack borrowed me, and climb into bed next to my girl. Instinctively, she rolls on her side and into my arms. I wrap an arm around her and close my eyes. Sleeping with her beside me should be easy.
It should be.
Chapter Twenty
BlackJack
It’s been a long day. Lynette going missing was one of the worst I’ve had in a while. I knew if we lost her, we’d lost Shepard as well. At least we found her. Well, she made her way home on her own, and she seemed fine enough to me. She’s a tough cookie is Lynette, she’ll be all right, Shepard will take care of her.
Jose is gone for good, Shepard made damn sure of that. He managed to scare the shit out of some of the younger members, they’ve never seen that side of our Prez before, the maniac who blacks out when the anger takes over.
I’ve seen that side of Shepard a few times, hence why I made sure everyone stayed back. He wouldn’t have meant to, but if anyone had touched him too soon, Shepard might well have turned on them. He’s like a rabid dog when he’s in the zone. I didn’t want us to lose anyone.
It wasn’t until Shepard started to slow down his strikes on the mess he’d made of Jose that I allowed Jett to step forward and take his father’s shoulder.
I’ll keep his kids with me tonight. Shepard’s boys and mine are asleep, as is Willow, so Stryker just told me. Coral is sleeping in his old room because Stryker wants to stay here with us tonight, and Jett went home about an hour ago. I should have stayed here after I came back to check on everything, but I needed a couple of beers, I needed to be alone. Stryker told me he’d take care of things at the house, Taylor told me she just wanted to sleep, and that she’d be in bed waiting for me when I got home. It was a shitty thing to do, leaving my wife alone at a time like this, but my head is a damn mess.
I pulled up outside my house five minutes ago to find Stryker, the boy who is like a son to me, sitting on the porch with a bottle of beer in his hand, looking lost in a world of his own.
&nbs
p; “Got something on your mind, boy?” I drop down on the step beside him.
“What happened to Taylor, Jack?” He turns to look at me.
This is not something I want to talk about with anyone. I’m not ready. I’ve never been through anything like this before, nor has Taylor, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Neither of us does.
“Keeping it inside won’t help any, Jack.”