My heart is beating out of my chest so hard I can feel it in my throat.
“I don't feel guilty for loving you, Willow. I know in my heart that Cindy is up there smiling down on us right now. Smiling because she was right all along. Let go of the guilt, baby, it doesn't belong here anymore. Cindy is gone, but we're still here, still living, loving each other. We're having a baby, Will. Our baby doesn't deserve to be born to parents who feel guilty for loving each other when there's nothing to feel guilty about.
“It's not wrong, beautiful. This love of ours is so right, Willow. You know that deep down, don't you?” He leans his forehead against mine, my face still in his hands. “Let go and live, baby.”
Everything he just said is right. I need to let go of the guilt and live. Isn't that what I've been telling him since Cindy died? Let go and live.
We lost Cindy, but we still have each other. We're having a baby, we're going to be a family. Our child deserves to be born into a happy family, and it will be. I'm going to let go and live.
“Let go and live,” I repeat the words I spoke to him many times in the past when he couldn't get out of bed. When he couldn't eat. When he drank too much. “I'm sorry. I love you so much.”
He pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly, telling me, “I love you, baby girl. I will always love you. Now let me take you home.”
“I don't want to be there alone, Hammer. I miss you, but you won't stay with me.”“I'm sorry, I really have been busy. But no more. No matter what's going on, you're my number one and I will always put you first. You need to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow.”
I look up at him with curious eyes. “We do?”
“Yes. We do. We're going house hunting. It's time to let go of the past. We're moving forward. House. Wedding. Baby.”
“Wait, what?” I pull away from him. Did he really just say wedding? Is that his idea of a proposal? Not exactly heart and flowers. I know he's a biker, but could that have been more clichéd?
I know he asked me to marry him at the hospital, but we hadn't spoken about it since. He didn't even get me a ring, so I thought he'd changed his mind.
“You were born to be mine. You know it, I know it, soon the whole fuckin' world will know it.”
“That was your proposal?” I fold my arms around my chest. I'm going to milk this. I'm so amused, but I won't show it. I don't really give a shit about hearts and flowers, I know he's not about that. But I do want an engagement ring. I won't say yes until I have one.
I don't need one. But it would be nice to be asked properly.
“What? Not as good as last time?”
“If you have to ask, you'll never know.” I turn to leave but he grabs my arm and swings me around to face him. He looks at me for a moment, his eyes sliding to my lips and then back to my eyes. He's turned on, I know him all too well. Considering where we are right now, that is so inappropriate!
He smirks before leading me toward his bike. So, it's like that, is it? Well, I won't let him off that easily. No, sir.
Chapter Twenty
Hammer
I back her up against the wall, I've only just got the front door shut before my mouth is all over her. I need her, I've fuckin' missed her these past few days. I've neglected her, and that stops now.
Finding her at Cindy's grave, crying and begging her to help her find a way to help me. God, it killed me. I made her feel like that because of the way I yelled at her about Cindy.
I should never have said what I did, I really didn't mean it, it just came out. Willow has always understood me, has always been there for me in every way a person can be. I never meant to make her feel like she was second best to Cindy, she will never be that.
She is fuckin' everything to me. Every fuckin' thing! Ain't nobody ever gonna mean more to me than Willow does.
I rest my forehead against hers, my hand on her stomach, still flat but holding my child inside. It's such a fuckin' wonder to behold, my girl, pregnant with my baby. My fuckin' baby!
Her little hand slides over mine, holding it against her stomach, her other hand cupping my face, our foreheads still touching. “We love you, Sam – Hammer – Marshall.”
“I fuckin' love you both, too.” Our lips collide, tongues entwining. Ain't nothing like this in the world, nothing like kissing this woman, holding her, touching her. I don't give a fuck what others might say, they'll never know the beauty of our love.
Yeah, I fuckin' went there with the mushy shit. Don't give a fuck.
I lift her into my arms and carry her to bed. I strip her slowly, I want to savor this. God, she's beautiful, lying there looking up at me as I tear my clothes from my body. Soon as I'm as naked as she is, I climb onto the bed between her legs. Her eyes are on me, a smile on her gorgeous face.
She strokes the scar across my hairline and down past my eye, causing my eyes to close. Only she could find my scars beautiful.
I'm between her legs, tongue snaking out and tasting the honey glistening there for me. Her back arches instantly, a groan escaping from her plush lips. Just what I like to hear. I lick the length of her, back to front, and I'm rewarded with a gush of nectar and a scream of pleasure.
I chuckle against her pussy while sucking on her clit, her hands clutch my hair, hips grinding, fuckin' my face so fast she's practically suffocating me. Fuckin' perfect.
“I'm gonna come.” I can hardly hear her with the way her legs are wrapped around my head. “Hammer!” She screams, her pussy convulsing against my tongue.
God, she tastes good!
I climb her sexy body and lie between her legs. Her trusting eyes are looking right into my soul, and I know at this moment that I will do anything to protect her. I'll swallow my fuckin' pride and ask the one man I want nothing from to help me protect her.
There is nothing I won't do to keep her safe. I mean it when I say that she's my world. I mean it when I say that I won't survive if I lose her. I mean it when I say that I need her in order to live.
She's the air I need to breathe. Without her, I won't last an hour.
I kiss her softly. “I love you, baby girl. Ain't nothing I won't do to protect you.”
Little hands slide around my big shoulders. “I know. I love you, and I am never going to leave you. You're my life, Sam, and I do mean literally.”
Her words hit me right in the heart and I kiss the shit out of her while entering her tight body. And it's so damn good that we both call out in pleasure.
I had every intention of fuckin' her tonight, but I want to make love to her more. Just because I'm a biker bastard doesn't mean I can't make love to my woman, I'm just a man.
I slide my arm underneath her, lifting her against me, her arms around my neck, legs around my waist. I want her as close to me as I can get her, and I'm so deep that the sensations in my cock are out of this world.
We're out of breath, sweating like crazy, fuckin' against each other like we'll die if we don't, and all the time, our eyes are locked on each other. This feels so different. Somehow, it feels more intimate. It feels perfect.
“Sam...,” She groans with her head tipped back, her hips rolling, fingers in my hair dragging down my scalp.
“You feel so fuckin' good, Will.”
“I'm so close.” I can feel how close she is.
I hold onto her hips and rut the fuck out of her body. She's screaming, body tightening, and I ain't far off coming. “Come for me, Willow!”
“I... I... Oh, fuck! I'm coming.” Her legs lock around my waist, her pussy gushing all over my dick as she comes for me.
“Jesus, fuck!” I can't hold on, I'm shooting right inside of her so hard, both our orgasms so powerful that we can't unlock our muscles. Fuck, I've never come so damn hard!
I pull her flush against me, holding her close, my hips still pumping slowly inside her. “God, you make me come so hard.”
“Ditto, man of mine.”
I chuckle and kiss her head. I've missed this. Ain't gonna go so fuckin' long with
out touching her again. It's been torture.
But there's something I have to do. Soon. It can't wait much longer. Soon as tomorrow comes, I'll do what I swore I'd never do. I'll speak to my Mafia Don big brother and ask for his help.
If there was ever a bitter pill to swallow, it's that.
What the actual fuck am I doing here?