Things between Hammer and me have been good this past week. We've finally put Cindy to rest, we're ready to really move on with our lives. I'm doing much better after my illness, but I'm starting to feel really sick all the time, in a “baby is making mommy sick,” kind of way. There's nothing I can do about that, I'm just gonna have to deal with it.
I've decided there's no point in going back to work until after the baby is born. By the time I get over morning sickness, I'll be showing, and I don't want to risk getting injured in any way. Not that I think the kids in my class will hit out at me, but you can never be too careful.
It was a very difficult choice, I went back and forth, I debated it for ages. I didn't want to let my kids down, but after speaking with my mom and then my boss, whom both gave me their support, I decided this is the right thing to do. It doesn't mean I'll never teach again. It just means I'm taking a little more time off. I'll soon get back into the swing of things when my maternity leave is up.
Hammer and I have talked about baby names. It was such a pleasant night, just the two of us in our room, lying arm in arm while we chatted about the baby. We couldn't decide on names, I think it's too early. My mom told me that you can pick all the names under the sun, but a lot of the time, a name won't pop out at you until you see your little ones face. I think she might be right.
Hammer found us a nice little house, three bedrooms, two bathrooms. He bought it outright – he was able to do that because he's saved every penny he's ever made, so have I, to be honest – and he surprised me with it a couple days ago. He'd managed to get everything moved in while I was at school meeting with my boss. Crazy, right? But that's just the kind of man he is.
I love the place, it's warm and homey. The perfect house for us, the perfect little house to raise a child in. We even have a big backyard covered with grass and flowers. I can envision my child playing out there on a little bike bought by daddy. I wish I knew if I was having a boy or a girl, I want to be able to organize things for when the baby is born. But it's too soon for all of that. I don't want to jinx anything where this pregnancy is concerned.
Since it was decided that we'd no longer stay at the safe house – Mom was sick of feeling like a prisoner, as were all of us, and dad said it was safe enough to come home – Hammer still doesn't allow me to go out alone. There's always two prospects following me wherever I go. They follow me to the store if I need to go or to visit with friends and family, watch me enter the building, then leave. But they're always out there when I'm ready to go home. It's not as annoying as I thought it would be, it's better to be safe than sorry. If it keeps Hammer's mind at rest, then I'll go along with it.
People comment that he's overbearing, but they don't know him. And he's not the only one who's that way, all the men of the club are. Even Ghost and he doesn't need to be, Avery is a Vidal and has more people looking out for her than the president of the United States. No joke. Apparently, Draven Vidal told Ghost that just because Avery was his girl now didn't mean he'd ever lax on security where she was concerned. Ghost didn't even argue, which is out of character for him.
The girls came over last night to see the place. They loved it. Then they mocked Hammer for becoming a proper little house husband. He was not impressed at all. I thought he was going to rip their heads off. Of course, the girls just laughed, they're all quite used to Hammer and his pride. I just kissed him and told him that he was perfect the way he is and he shouldn't be embarrassed by what they said, because he is going to be a wonderful husband and father. That made him smile.
Of course, the guys turned up and the whole thing turned into a huge housewarming party. No one left until after 2 AM. I was exhausted, I could barely keep my eyes open. But I couldn't rest until I cleaned my house and made sure it was perfect again. Hammer wasn't very pleased that I was cleaning till after 4 AM this morning, but he was too drunk to help. He woke up just as I'd finished showering so he could use the bathroom. He asked what the hell I was up to, I told him the truth, ‘I just showered after cleaning up after your friends.’
He looked taken aback. He sighed deeply and pulled me into his arms. ‘Baby,’ He said with a kiss to my head, ‘You should have left it until tomorrow, I would have cleaned the place before I left. You're not my slave, Willow. Nor are you a slave to our friends.’
I snuggled into him and laughed. ‘I love you, Sam Marshall.’
‘Not as much as I love you.’
Those words have kept a smile on my face all day. I'm beyond tired because I only got four hours of sleep, yet I'm still smiling.
“Are you hungry, Ember?” She lifts her head with a big toothy grin, her little pigtails swishing as she nods her head happily. She'll never be shy to eat, that's for sure. This baby loves her food.
I take her to the kitchen and sit her in the highchair Nova brought over with her. Ember bangs her little fists on the table and yells, “Food! Food, Illow.” I laugh loudly. She still can't say her W's.
“It's coming, you cheeky madam.” I hand her a plate with chopped banana, a cookie, and a small PB and J sandwich, her favorite.
I watch her eat with a smile on my face. She grins at me around bites of her food. I couldn't love her than I already do.
I can't wait for my baby to be born. Whatever I have, I know I'm going to love it more than anything else in this world. A little person that's half me, half Sam. Baby Marshall is going to be our whole world.
A knock at the door brings me out of thought. “Sit still, baby girl, Aunt Willow will be right back.” She just gives me another toothy smile, making me chuckle. I open the door with a smile on my face, thinking it can only be my mother or Nova.
It isn't.
“Don't do anythin' stupid.” Is all I hear before he slams something over my mouth and drags me out of the house kicking and screaming.
Here we go again.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Hammer
I don't wanna admit it, but Draven isn't as bad as I first thought. He's proven that he's on our side. He's cleaned up the shit that was surrounding us. Just that Jimmy fucker to go. He can't hide forever, we will find him, and when we do...
Tank was right, with Vidal on our side, we're untouchable. Well, to a degree. It'll mean there's less shit come our way now everyone knows who I am to him. Just parking my bike outside bars where people used to stare at me has them now scurrying away. Makes me fuckin' laugh. Have to hand it to my big brother, he's an intimidating cunt.
I may have spent a little time with Draven here and there, only because I need his help, and I may have spent time with Avery because of Ghost, but I haven't had much to do with Maria, though. I can't bring myself to care about her. It's harsh, but I ain't never had a sister, don't want anything to happen to her because of me.
It's a fear I don't think I'll ever be rid of.
I know how much Maria means to Draven, I won't have that beautiful girl around me, knowing that I'm fuckin' cursed when it comes to the women in my life. Draven can't lose her because of me. Yeah, she's my younger sister as well as Draven's, but I don't know her, not really. She's been with Draven her whole life. I'd be a liar if I said I didn't feel love for my new-found siblings, and that's why I'll keep her at arm's length.
It's damn good to see Ghost back at the clubhouse. He took a few weeks off to take care of Avery and make sure she fully recovered from her suicide attempt. I'm glad she's doing so well. A few of us are having a drink to celebrate Ghost being back, but there's something I want to ask Tank. But he seems jittery and keeps shaking his head.
“What's up with you?” Stryker asks him.
“I'm gonna be a dad. Again.”
“Fuck, man, that's great!” I yank him out of his seat and hug the shit outta him. Ember is his little girl, no one can ever say she ain't, but he's actually having a kid of his blood. Right along with me.
Everyone shakes his hand, and he finally lets out a big breath and smiles before taking his seat beside me.
“H
ow far along is she?” Ghost asks.
“A month. Four weeks. God, I don't know. She felt ill the past couple of days. Took her to the doctor this morning and he told us she's pregnant.”
“Avery, too.”
What the actual fuck?
“They told us at the hospital after... You know?” We all nod. No one needs to say the words. “She's five weeks now. The doctor said it was a miracle she hadn't lost it.”
“Definitely your kid.” Red laughs. “Strong as an ox, just like its old man.” He clasps Ghost's shoulder and squeezes.
Red's got a soft spot for Ghost, always has. Thinks the damn world of him. His surrogate kid, even if he ain't really his old man. He'd do anything for Ghost, hence why he begged me to speak with Draven. Never seen Red cry, but the man was close to tears when he thought Ghost wouldn't make it.
“Wanted to ask you somethin', Red.”
“Oh, yeah?” Red knocks back his scotch and slams his glass on the table. He points to his younger wife and hooks his finger, motioning for her to come to him. I see her giggle and skip over with a bottle of whiskey.
With his arm around her waist, she pours him another glass before leaning down and kissing the big bear, not giving a damn that we can all see her. Ain't nobody as in love as Red and Tammy. And it doesn't matter a shit to her that he's ten years older than she is. He's her hero, love of her life, and she tells anyone who'll listen. They've got two kids, two boys, and a little one on the way any day now. Never realized how much I wanted one of my own till I knocked Willow up.
“Avery and I have been talkin',”
“Sounds ominous.” Red laughs and watches his wife walk back to the bar.
“We want you to be the godfather.”
Red's eyes widen, his mouth opening and closing unable to say a word. The man's shocked.
“You're my brother, my dad in a lot of ways. Never had a dad until you walked into my life. You took me into your family and treated me like one of your own. You were there for me through all of that stuff with Vidal. Hell, you've always been there for me. I'm the man I am today because of you.”
We're all watching the two of them, not one of us around the table says anything, we just listen.
“Ain't no one ever given a shit about me the way that you do. I've got a lot to thank each and every one of you around this table for.” His eyes lock with me for a minute. I smile and nod my head. He doesn't need to thank me for anything, I only did for him what I would have done for any man in this club. “But it's you, Red, who's always been there for me. I love you like you were my dad, man.”
“Jesus, Ghost.” Roman sniggers behind his glass.
“Fuck you, Roman.” The banter is light and playful, there's no malice here. “I love you all. Ain't ashamed to say it after everything that's happened. I want you all to be uncles to my kid. I'm proud to know all of you. My brother's. But I ain't leaving here until you tell me you'll do it, Red.”
Red isn't the kind of man to show his emotions, but even I can see what Ghost just said about him touched him.