I'm not a man who shows his emotions. I'm coldhearted to the outside world. Only three women have ever seen the real me apart from my mother. My beautiful baby sister, my beautiful cousin Avery, who is a sister in my heart, and of course, my Marnie.
They're the only people who need to see me as anything but a monster: them and their children. Of course, my brother knows me, but even he's never seen the real me.
I stroke Marnie's ever-growing baby bump. The fear I felt when I found her lying there won't leave me. I haven't felt fear like that since I saw my baby sister fall over forty-feet and almost die. I didn't even feel that much fear when Avery slit her wrists and almost killed herself, not even the time my father took Maria and threatened to kill her. Don't get me wrong, I was scared that day, but I knew he wouldn't kill her. I knew either my brother or I would kill him first.
However, the fear that I could've lost both Marnie and the baby... Jesus, there are no words to describe it. I have never asked for much for myself in this life. The only thing I have ever asked God for is to keep Maria, her children, Avery, her children, Sam, his children, and Marnie and our baby safe. However, I am asking him now to please keep a watch over her, to help me keep her safe from the scum of this world. I'll do anything he wants of me just as long as he helps me protect my family.
If I had've lost her tonight, I would have gone on living for my brother and sister, my niece and nephews, my cousin, but I would no longer be me, and I would never love again. How does one find love after losing the love of his life?
No. Everyone would become my enemy.
Hell, right now, every fucker is, and I'm not sure I won't burn the world down around us!
Chapter Fifteen
Marnie
My god, my head is pounding. It feels like someone is banging a drum right next to my ear. Like they have been for hours on end.
I open my heavy eyes, the light is dim, but still, it hurts my eyes. I look to my left and smile. Draven is sleeping with his head on my hand. Why the hell isn't he in bed with me?
I look around the room, then down at my right hand. I have an IV! What the hell?
Oh god, I'm starting to panic! I'm in the hospital, in a bed with a blue knitted blanket over my legs, and... Where's my baby?!
“Draven!”
His head shoots up, eyes blinking fast against the sleep he's fighting, and I'm crying hard in fear. “Shh,” He jumps out of his seat, taking my hand and a seat on the edge of the bed. “Hey,”
“Draven. Please tell me my baby is okay. Please!” I think I'm going into a panic attack. I can't breathe properly.
Draven takes my face in his hands, and instantly I feel calmer. He has that power over me, even when I'm terrified. “Marnie, calm down. The baby is fine,” He brings my head toward him a little and kisses my forehead. “I promise.” Oh, thank God. I breathe through a sob of relief. “It's okay; my love, everything is okay.”
“I was so afraid, Draven,”
“I know.” He lets go of my face, lifts off the bed, turns and takes a seat beside me, lifting me a little. He wraps his arms around me, pulling me into him, holding me so tightly I can hardly breathe, but my god, do I feel safe in his arms. “Everything is okay.” He tells me softly while kissing my head again.
“What happened to me?” I ask because it now that I've calmed a little knowing my baby is okay. I know, well, I think I remember my brother coming around and demanding I leave Draven, and that he wanted to kill my baby. I refused, and so he hit me hard.
“It seems the person...”
“My brother.” I cut him off with a whisper. I wrap my arm around his waist tighter. I just need to feel him against me.
“Hmm. I know,”
I close my eyes.
Of course, he knows, even if I hadn't told him, once the panic of me being hurt had settled, he would've checked the security footage from outside the house and seen who was last to knock the door. He would have then tracked them down and killed them. Which I have no doubt Draven has ordered his men to do, kill my brother. Unless he wants to do it himself. He strikes me as that kind of man. Hurt what's his, and he'll kill you.
“He attacked you. He wanted you to lose the baby and go back to Paul.” I swallow hard, the thought of that is scary to me right now. “He will not get away with what he did to you, Marnie. When I walked in that house and saw you lying there, God my fucking heart stopped for a moment. Goddammit, he cracked your fucking skull, Marnie!” So that explains the thumping headache. “Your wrist is fractured.”
Again, it explains the bandages. I'm sure Peter did that when he grabbed me right before he hit me. I'm not sure he hit me hard enough to crack my skull; I'm guessing I did that by hitting my head on the way down. It would explain the bleed above my eye too.
Yeah, it's all coming back to me now.
“There isn't a person alive who will live another day should they hurt you.”
“I don't want you to do anything if it means you getting in trouble. I don't want to sound clingy, but I need you, Draven. I don't know who I am anymore without you.”
Sounds pathetic, I know, but I've come to love this man, and I need him with me. I've never been with anyone who treats me the way Draven does. This big, bad, scary man that everyone seems to be afraid of. A man who commands respect from everyone around him, including me, and I give it to him because he deserves it. A man who has stolen my heart in a way I'm not sure anyone ever has before or will again.
He pulls me closer and kisses my head tenderly. “You have nothing to worry about. I'm going nowhere. You're stuck with me.” I giggle and kiss his cheek, making him smile, before snuggling into his chest. “But I have to deal with your brother. You understand that, right?”
I nod my head. “Just be careful.” I know he has the police in his pocket along with whoever else, but it doesn't stop me worrying that someone will turn on him at some point and I'll end up losing him.
How can I not be scared when there are no doubt hundreds of people out there just dying to end this man? The five minutes of fame it would bring that person, the glory, the pride. Who wouldn't feel those things after ending one of the most dangerous mob bosses of our time?
I know he says that nothing will happen to him, he's too smart, too well-protected. Didn't he tell me that I was well-protected also?
All the top-notch gadgets, all the bodyguards, all the men in the world can't protect a person one hundred percent. Assassinating presidents is proof of that.
However, I have to put my faith in the fact he'll be all right, that he'll step things up so that our baby and I are never going to have to go through the horrors that people will no doubt put us through just for being related to Draven.
Maria and Avery don't live in fear of what if, but then, they're used to this life, I am not. I'll get used to it, right?
Regardless of how scared I am right now, I so want to tell him how I feel, but I'm afraid to do so. He's told me many times not to expect anything from him, that he will never love me. I've accepted that. I've accepted that I've lost my heart to him and he'll never give me his. However, I know somewhere inside of him; he has feelings for me. I don't know how deep those feelings will ever go. I doubt I ever will.
I am also terrified that if Draven kills my brother, I will never be able to find... I can't go there right now it will drive me insane, but I know I have to tell Draven what I hi
de from the world. I have to if I'm ever to bring to life the part of me that has long since died.
Draven told me once that he would do anything for me, no matter what that was, and I have to believe that he'll do this for me. I just have to.
* * *
It's four days before they sign me out of the hospital, and I am so glad to be back in my own home. Funny how I can say that now without feeling like I'm doing something wrong. I'm comfortable here, but I was a little worried that it wouldn't feel like home anymore after what happened, but it does, nothing is ruined.
Draven had told me that we wouldn't be attending Tony and Amy's wedding because he wants me to rest. I honestly felt crushed; I'd been looking forward to it for weeks. I was honest with Draven and told him that I wanted to go, that he needed to be there for Tony. I promised not to overdo it, and Draven finally caved. I'm really excited about the whole thing, and I'm grateful that I don't have to let Amy down. She's become a good friend to me, and I would have hated to miss out on the biggest day of her life.
“I want you to rest,” Draven tells me as soon as I'm done with the chicken soup he made for me. It was delicious! I could get used to being pampered like this.
“I really want to take a bath.” He kisses me gently and leaves the room. I chuckle to myself because I can hear the bathtub filling in our bathroom.
Not five minutes later, he's lifting me off the bed like an invalid and taking me to the bathroom. He stands me on my feet, and the steam from the water fills my lungs. I always did love that feeling.
“Draven, I can undress myself.” Since he brought me home, he literally will not let me do anything for myself. Toilet, bathing, cooking, changing. Nothing. He literally carries me everywhere. This is going to get old fast!
Draven says nothing as he continues to undress me, and once I'm naked in front of him, he lifts me in his arms and lowers me into the tub and proceeds to bathe me like a child.