“Chocolate,” Forest adds. I smile.
&n
bsp; “It’s my cake. Shouldn’t I get to pick?”
“Fine.” He winks.
I’ll still be making chocolate. I know it’s their favorite, and I can’t seem to help myself. It’s hard not to dote on them. Even more so considering they’re pretty much my whole world. They each say their goodbyes before filing out the door. Flint pauses in the doorway.
“Stay inside, Snow.” He gives me a hard look. He’s the eldest, so he uses the same one on all his brothers.
I just smile and nod.
I step over to the kitchen window to watch them pile into the truck as snow starts to fall. If the storm gets too bad, maybe they’ll be home early. I’m not used to this new schedule or being alone so much. Since we got to Gray Ridge, they’ve been working, building houses with some guy named X. That’s about all I know.
Sometimes they work twelve-hour days. I get lonely. I’ve become so used to taking care of people. It makes me long for what some of my other brothers have found. Mates. But I guess for me it would be a husband. A family of my very own to take care of.
I turn away from the window and clean up the kitchen. It only takes five minutes. Then I stand there, looking around the cabin that’s now our home. When we first got it, I was thrilled. We’d always moved around so much that I was excited to have a place that would be ours. I didn’t realize that meant I’d be left alone so much.
There really isn’t anything for me to do. I can only clean a house so many times, even with it being a four-bedroom and three-bathroom. I turn to the window again and look out. The snow is falling harder. I’d once heard Flint say the snow can often hide your scent, make it harder to track or catch someone.
I know most of the town of Gray Ridge is shifter, but I also know we have a cabin with a good amount of land. I’m not sure where ours ends and begins. Maybe I could just go out a little. No one would know.
I need to do it now. The snow will cover my tracks back up, so no one will know I went out. Just twenty minutes, I tell myself.
Excitement has me dashing to my room. I find my dark blue hooded cape and slip it on over my clothes. I pull the hood over my long black hair, then slip on my boots. Grabbing some gloves from the front-door closet I slip out onto the porch, breathing in the winter air. Normally we stay a little farther south, away from the cold.
I haven’t seen snow since…I ran. The urge hits me again. This time, I’m not running from something, but I just want to run. I jump off the porch and sprint towards the woods, running as fast as I can, as I’ve seen my brothers do many nights. Only I don’t shift. Dodging the rocks and ducking below low tree branches, I run until my legs start to burn and the cold air fills my lungs. I finally break free of the trees and come to a sliding stop at a little iced-over pond.
Dropping to my knees, I look up at the sky, trying to catch my breath as the snowflakes fall around me. I close my eyes and relax into the snow, breathing in the winter air and thinking about how different running was this time. So different from before.
Chapter 2
Koda
It’s still dark when I wake up with a jolt, the cold sweat covering my naked body. It takes me a moment, like it always does, to remember where I am and that I’m safe. The seconds tick by, and my breathing evens out. Rubbing my hands against my eyes, I remind myself that I’m not in a cage.
I give up on sleep and get up from the bed. I make my way to the bathroom, turn on the shower, and get in before the water has a chance to warm up. I’m used to cold showers after being denied the luxury of hot water for so long and then having to bathe in rivers when I escaped.
I soap up and try not to think about my past, but it always comes flooding back after a nightmare. I can’t seem to stop it, so I just have to ride it out until all the feelings pass. This dream was like so many before, most of it exactly the same, but sometimes my mind likes to add in details that weren’t there, just to fuck with me.
This time when I was dreaming, I was in the cage again. The one they kept me locked in unless they were running tests. They had a theory that if shifters were kept in small places, they would be less likely, or unable, to shift.
In this dream, I was in the cage, and I could hear Winnie crying. I know this didn’t happen because Winnie was never captured with me. She got away. I always have to remind myself of that. We were young when we were caught, but she fought and was able to get free. I was too drugged up to know what happened, and all I could remember was waking up in a cell without her.
I'd learned over the years that we were taken by a company that was doing research on shifters. They kept us as if we were animals in a lab. It was a horrible time in my life, and ever since I broke free, my only goal was finding my sister. When I found her, it was only to see that she had amnesia and was being cared for here in Gray Ridge. Winnie had gotten lucky, and Alpha Stone had taken her into the pack and kept her safe. When I found her, and when her memories came back, I felt like my journey had finally come to an end.
Only it didn’t.
I’m a bear shifter, and there aren’t as many of us as there are of other species. Even fewer bear shifter females exist. When Winnie mated with Alpha Stone, I could have left, but I didn’t want to. Bears aren’t normally pack animals, but they are close to their families. I couldn’t move away from Winnie after finally finding her, even though she was mated.
Thankfully, Alpha Stone welcomed me into the pack and gave me some land. Xavier, one of the wolf shifters, and I built my cabin out here to give me some space away from the pack and also to have a way to stay close to Winnie.
I’d been in captivity for so long that I was worried I wouldn’t be able to adjust to pack life. But Xavier had gone through some trauma before he met his mate, and he was able to give me some advice to help me cope.
When we built the house, he helped me put in extra security measures so that I could feel safe again. My nightmares used to be a lot worse, and I think he knew it. So to help, we installed bolted locks both inside and outside the entry points of the house. The locks are in place in a way that no one is going in or out of my home without my permission. The extra security helps me sleep. As long as the nightmares don’t creep in.
When I’ve finished showering, I make myself breakfast and have coffee. My life is very quiet, and I don’t have many friends—just the Gray Ridge pack people who Winnie makes me hang out with. I look over at the counter and see an invitation to a kid’s birthday party at Xavier and Gwen’s home. I know I should want to go and be around everyone, but I feel myself getting tired and wanting to hibernate.
I let out a long sigh and try to shake off the dark mood. Internally, I know that I’m safe and everything is okay. I’m just getting used to the world again. Also being around a lot of happy mated couples can start to wear on any single shifter after a while. There’s a longing that comes with wanting to find your mate, and knowing I probably never will sends another wave of sadness over me.
Closing my eyes, I see dark hair and blue eyes. I try to grab on to the image, but it’s gone like smoke through my fingers. I think of the image every time I think about finding my mate. I don’t even know where the image is from or how I remember it, but something about it is familiar.
I push away from the table and clean up the kitchen. When I finish, I look outside. The sun has come up and it’s starting to snow a bit. I love this time of year. The cool air and the clean smells of the forest calm my bear. I feel him stir inside me, and I decide he could use a walk in the woods.
Bears aren’t much for running or spending energy when they don’t have to. Our shifters are usually really big and solidly built. I lost a lot of weight when I was being held captive, but in the time since, I’ve put on a lot of weight. It feels good to have the extra layers of thick muscle and even a little extra around my mid-section. We’re pretty hairy, too, and I definitely meet that type. My long beard and chest hair help keep me warm when it's cold out. So even though it’s snowing, I don’t need much coverage.
&n
bsp; I’ve got on a long-sleeved, cream-colored thermal shirt and jeans. I go over to the door, pull on my boots, and then go about unlocking the door. I walk outside and turn, locking the cabin back up.
The woods are quiet, and my bear is enjoying the peace. He likes being outside, but a lot of times my fear overrides his need and we stay indoors. This is good for both of us, at least for a little while.
I walk for a few miles and come through the clearing next to the lake. I don’t usually venture to this side of the protected lands, but I just need a change today. New scenery. Something inside me is telling me this will be best for me and my bear. That we need a new direction and something different to see today.
Looking off in the distance, I see a dark figure on the ground. My bear is instantly alert, and I widen my stance, preparing for danger. I raise my nose, trying to catch a scent, but the wind is at my back. Slowly and silently, I walk around the edge of the lake, looking for danger from every direction.
My bear is pacing, trying to get out, but I want to be able to hold my skin. I’m always terrified that someone will try to take me again after getting captured the last time, so I’m being extra cautious.
I don’t know what possesses me to even want to investigate the dark figure. Normally, I would just turn and run. But something’s pulling me in that direction, and I need to see what it is.
As I step closer, I see the dark figure take shape. The scent still hasn’t come my way, but I can make out that it’s a person lying in the snow. My steps are tentative and slow, and I move closer and closer.
When I realize it’s a woman, my heart starts to beat faster and my steps quicken. What if she’s a shifter in trouble? I don’t know everyone in the pack yet, so this could be a member in distress.