“Why?” I asked in a soft voice. I wanted to know for more than just my book. “What made you decide to start selling drugs?”
Axel thought for a moment. “I’m not sure how it happened really. I was a cocky kid with unlimited money, and power. For a teenager, being allowed in any club just because my last name was Rye was pretty cool. I hung with rock stars, actors, models, you name it. It started with me just providing my friends with drugs, and then I had the hook up.” He paused as if thinking. “It just sort of happened. Before I knew it, I was making major money and was in demand at every single club in LA.”
“And then you got arrested?” I asked, careful not to have any judgment
in my voice.
“Yeah. I’m assuming you are talking about the latest stint. I got arrested many times before. But it was always a slap on the wrist or Daddy used his money and lawyers to get me off. But this last one was pretty scary. They were talking about serious jail time. Lucky for me, I had an excellent team of lawyers.”
“Why do you still do it? Aren’t you scared of getting caught and going to jail again?” I asked.
Axel shook his head. “No. The District Attorney ended up looking like a fool. And let’s just say that my lawyers, private investigators and fixers were able to dig up enough dirt on people to forever keep me out of jail.” He chuckled. “The sex scandals, the drugs, the dark side of people who are supposed to be the good guys is pretty fucked up. It’s like fucking mafia shit I’m talking about. And I can’t tell you how many people have bought from me. Needless to say, I’m off limits unless some powerful people want to go down with me.” He shrugged and looked disappointed. “I’m not proud that Daddy’s money bailed me out. Hell, I’m not proud that my fucking legacy is a bad boy drug dealer either. But it is what it is.”
I looked at Axel skeptically. “You say that like you are trapped. Like you don’t have a choice in the matter.”
“What else am I going to do with my life? I dropped out of high school, and actually have no skills. I know one thing and that is the nightlife. I am a professional partier. How’s that for a fucked up resume?”
“Are you happy?”
He shook his head. “No, I’m over this shit. But like I said, what else is there? This is literally all I know. But I do like my friends, and it could be a hell of a lot worse. I could be working some blue-collar job I hate just as much, and be struggling every month just to pay the bills. I have a pretty good gig. I get paid a lot of money to party, pass out party favors, and make a trendy spot to appear even hotter. Many people would be grateful to be in my shoes, and I have to remind myself of that. This is who I am. I own it.”
I just sat and stared at Axel while he spoke. He had such passion and conviction in his voice. He seemed so centered and focused. Everything about Axel screamed strength and stability. I had never heard someone be so open in admitting they sell drugs for a living. I had read articles about his court appearance and his history, but the information seemed so shallow compared to actually hearing it from Axel. I wasn’t appalled or shocked. I didn’t think he was a bad man, or criminal. I respected him for his ability to be honest and straightforward. Now, I had to figure out how to make my readers feel the same way. I had to capture this side of Axel Rye for the book, or I would be doing everyone a disservice.
Axel stopped and stared at me. He furrowed his eyebrows and sat up straight against the seat. “What are you thinking?”
I smiled and cleared my throat. “I think you live an interesting life. I like that you aren’t ashamed of it, and you wear who you are on full display. I admire that.” Did I? Or was I saying it for the sake of my undercover mission? This all would make a great book.
Axel looked shocked. He leaned forward and asked, “You do? You don’t think I should be locked up for breaking the law every single night?”
“Nope, it’s who you are. You aren’t forcing anyone to buy and take the drugs.” I blushed and shyly said, “Honestly, I’ve never taken drugs in my life until tonight.”
Axel paused and looked slightly uncomfortable for the first time since I had met him. He fidgeted in his seat for a few moments before taking a deep breath to control his demeanor again. I watched in curiosity at his reaction.
“I know this is going to sound hypocritical, but I really hope you stay away from the drugs,” Axel confessed. “It’s dangerous. I have seen so many people become addicted and ruin their lives. I guess you could say that I ruined their lives.”
“Well you don’t have to worry about me. I’m just having a little fun and relaxing a bit. I’ve always been so straight laced. I like letting loose around you. Maybe you are making me into a bad girl.” I giggled and blushed the minute the words left my mouth. I was flirting, and I couldn’t help it.
Axel smiled so big that wrinkles formed around the corners of his eyes and a slight dimple took shape in his cheek. “So you are a bad, bad girl heh?”
“Yes, yes, I think I am.” I continued to flirt. “But you are a bad, bad, boy.”
For a moment, Axel and I stared deep into each other’s eyes again. I searched for some further explanation. I searched for some clarity as to why I felt so incredibly turned on by what he just confessed to. He was a bad boy drug dealer and I liked it. He sat on the wrong side of the law like an outlaw in some old western. It pulled me in.
He sat on the other side of the limo refusing to break the stare. Feeling uncomfortable and a bit insecure at his intensity, I broke the stare first. I looked down at my hands and felt his glare burn my already red-hot skin.
Taking a moment before looking back into Axel’s eyes, I asked, “So you have more money than you know what to do with, girls hanging on your every move, and are the son of rock star. Oh, and you just happen to sell drugs to every cool kid in town.”
He laughed. “You just described me to a T. Quite the catch right? Women are just lining up to settle down and be in a long term relationship with me. Nothing says stability and retirement like marrying a drug dealer. I haven’t found someone who wants the same things: drugs, booze, flocks of groupies, media attention, legal issues, and vampire hours.”
“I find it hard to believe that with the crowd you hang out with you haven’t met a woman who wants the same, or at least gets you.”
Axel frowned. “Groupies. That’s all they are. They either want the fame, the free access to everywhere cool in town, or the free drugs. In most cases they want all of it.” Axel paused and looked directly into my eyes. “That’s definitely not what I want.” He let out a big sigh. “So did I do my part on the sharing game? Did I answer all your questions?”
I nodded as his stare sent a chill down my spine. “Yes, you did. Thank you.”
“Thank you for asking. No one has cared enough to ask.”
After driving up a winding street to the top of a hill, the limo turned into a dead end and parked. The moon was bright, and the ocean went on as far as I could see. The view of the boats floating in the distance stole my breath.
I stared out the window in amazement. This was the first time I’d gotten to really take in the city I now lived in.
Axel reached for my hand and opened the door. “Follow me.” He got out of the limo, gently assisting me to do the same.
I kept my hand in Axel’s as we walked to a stone wall. I could see the waves crashing onto the rocks below. We walked a little further to a space with benches and a grassy sitting area with flowers planted in brick flower beds. I took it all in with awe. I turned back to Axel.
“It’s beautiful,” I whispered.
“This is my favorite place.”
“I can see why. It’s nice to see this side of LA. All I’ve seen really are the bar and clubs.” I stepped closer to the wall and gazed out into the black ocean. The lights on a couple of ships and some small boats shined brightly against the blackness of the water. It had rained earlier, so the ground was still wet, but the sky had mostly cleared. Axel walked up behind me and placed his hands on top of the water-soaked stone, enclosing my body between his arms. His body heat against my back warmed my skin, contrasting to the nippy weather outside. Axel rested his chin on my shoulder next to my ear, taking a deep breath. Every move he made exuded confidence. He never hesitated or seemed unsure. I closed my eyes as my body tingled all over. Taking my own deep breath, I tried to quiet my escalating nerves. I found it unbelievable that I was here, doing this, with Axel… a man I felt as if I already knew.
“I love the way you smell,” Axel murmured, his breath hot against my neck.
“Thank you.” They were the only words I could squeak out.
We stood there for a few minutes in silence, his breath searing agai
nst my soul. Finally, he spoke. “Can I ask you something?”
The question and the intensity of the situation made me nervous. “Yes.”
Axel tightened his arms around my body more.
“Why do you seem so anxious around me? Do I make you uncomfortable?”
I went stiff. I thought I had been doing so well keeping my emotions hidden. “I’m just not the best in new situations. I can be shy, I guess.” Even my explanation seemed anxious. I was making it worse.
Axel placed his hands over my shaking ones on the wall. “There’s something about you that I really like, Quinn. Am I crazy, or do you feel the connection, too?”
I squeezed my eyes shut for a second. Shit, I’m in this for the story. I didn’t want to tell Axel that. I didn’t want Axel to know. He would assume I was using him for a paycheck. And the reality was, that I was! His story was gold and my sure ticket to getting a publishing deal. I knew this. I had to stay focused, but my heart and body were at war with my mind.
“I’m not sure what I’m feeling.” I felt confused. I had never been interested in a man like him. I liked normal. I liked safe. I liked everything opposite of Axel Rye. But for some reason I stood there in Axel’s arms, not stopping it.
“I want to see where this takes us.”
I braced myself, not knowing how he would feel about me after I confessed why I was really in LA, and why I was really trying to get close to him. Was I leading him on? Had I made Axel believe I was interested? The bigger question being… was I interested in Axel?
I turned around, but he never let go of the wall, keeping me encircled in his hold. His eyes seemed darker somehow, sultry. He looked straight at me, waiting.
“What do you mean?” My heart pounded. Overwhelming confusion clouded my brain.
“Are you seeing anyone?” His eyes remained fixed on mine.
I shook my head. “No.”
“Good.” Axel smiled. “Then you’re free.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Free for what?” I could feel something; an intensity I’d never felt before from anyone. He stood so close to me, I could feel every breath he took.