I hated the feeling of being deceitful. This shouldn’t be so complicated. But if I were honest with myself, I knew keeping this secret for so long would upset Axel. Things were so good I just didn’t want to rock the boat.

Just as I finished cooking breakfast, Felicity walked into the kitchen. She had a big smile on her face. “Is that Axel?” she mouthed.

I shook my head and mouthed back, “Harrison.”

Felicity frowned and walked over to dish herself some eggs and bacon. She sat down facing me.

I cut my conversation with Harrison short, telling him I needed to finish eating breakfast and getting ready. I’d finished getting ready for a while now, but I could tell Felicity wanted to talk. I watched her shake her head disapprovingly as I hung up.

“You’re going to lose Axel because of this stupid book of yours,” she said. “Something tells me Axel doesn’t know everything about what you’re doing when you get back to San Francisco.”

The lump that had formed in my throat during my conversation with Harrison seemed to grow even bigger. “I know. I’m just not sure how to get out of this hole I sort of dug for myself.”

“Listen, I understand you aren’t intending to bad-mouth or disparage him, but I don’t think Axel will be so understanding. He’s going to feel like you’re using him and faking your relationship all to get close. It’s going to look super shady.”

I grimaced. “I’m not.”

Felicity shook her head as she took a large bite of eggs. “You might know that, but Axel’s going to see this book as a threat. How much does he know about you, anyway?”

I winced and looked down at my untouched breakfast. “He doesn’t know I write at all. I haven’t opened up about much.”

Felicity’s eyes popped wide open as she almost choked on her food.

“Please tell me you’re joking.” I shook my head. “You’re going to screw up a good thing. I hope this lie is worth it.”

“I’m going to fix it.” I nibbled on my fingernail. “I’m just not sure how or when.”

“The longer you wait, the worse this mess will be. You need to tell Axel.” Felicity stopped and seemed to ponder what she had just said. “Unless I’m reading too much into you and him? You like him, right?”

I knew I was blushing. My face felt as if it had increased in heat by several degrees. “I do. I’m falling in love.”

Felicity raised an eyebrow. “Love? Does Axel feel the same?”

“He says he does. Last night we… well we…”

“You guys had sex!” Felicity almost screamed. “Oh my god!”

I blushed even more and tried not to giggle. “Yes, and it was amazing.”

Felicity squealed in delight after I told her the details of my first time. She clapped her hands together, smiling in delight. “I knew you would end up in his bed. Who would have thought that you would be the girlfriend of the infamous Axel Rye?”

“The whole idea really confuses me. I’m not sure I can deal with the drugs and the clubs forever.”

“It won’t be easy.” Felicity grabbed the dishes and started to clean up. “Well, whatever you decide, I just want you to be happy. Be honest with yourself and follow your heart. Don’t let other voices and opinions get in the way of what you decide.”

CHAPTER NINE

FUCKING VANILLA WITH SPRINKLES

QUINN

AXEL and I headed to a new restaurant opening near downtown. I had started to accompany Axel on more and more paid appearances. The attention made me a little uncomfortable, but it was worth it if I could spend more time with him. Plus, being with Axel gave me a self-confidence I never had before. My introverted ways seemed to vanish when I was on Axel Rye’s arm.

The place was crowded, and the media swarmed everywhere. I had taken a pill from Axel’s stash about an hour earlier, and I was feeling a bit edgy. It was some type of upper, but now I wondered if I needed a downer to help counter it. Axel hadn’t seemed too happy when I popped it in my mouth, but he hadn’t said anything either. I knew deep down it was bad to need drugs to help me cope with all the attention, but I was getting in the habit of it. It just worked. Axel, on the other hand, seemed to be doing drugs less, and barely drank. He hadn’t gone cold turkey or anything, but it did seem as if I was alone in using some nights.

As bodies swarmed around us, Axel held me tight while posing for pictures before he grabbed me by the hand, leading me past the people and into the restaurant.

“You don’t need to walk the red carpet? Do any more interviews?” I asked, completely surprised. I had started getting used to standing to the side while Axel played the part of a famous person, but was really relieved I didn’t have to do it tonight.

“I’m doing my part,” he said. “I’m here and I’ve been photographed. I’m not really in the mood to do interviews.” He leaned in to place a soft kiss against my lips. “I just want to have a good meal with the most stunning woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. Nothing’s more important than you.” God the man was good with words.

I couldn’t help blushing. Axel always made my heart skip a beat. “I just don’t want you to get in trouble for not doing your job. I don’t want to get in the way.”

Axel pulled out a chair for me after the host led us to our table. “You are never in the way. Never. You actually make this all a hell of a lot more bearable for me. I hate this shit. You know that. I just worry all the time you are going to find this shit as old as I do and stop coming. I also don’t want you to think I’m ignoring you.”

“I can’t remember ever having someone make me feel so special before. I love how well you treat me.”

He smiled at me softly. “Good, because that is what is important to me. I love you, Quinn. There’s no question about that.”

My heart pounded against my chest and my breath caught. I could barely whisper, “I love you, too.”

Axel reached across the table and took hold of my hand. “Those are powerful words.”

“Yes, they are.”

He squeezed my hand. “I promise I’ll do everything to make you actually feel those words every day.”

I nodded and looked down at my hands. I took a deep breath. “Can I ask you something? Something has been bothering me lately.”

He continued to hold my hand, softly caressing it with his thumb. “Of course. Always speak your mind.”

“Why is Jillian always around you? Why is she always in the pictures with you?” Ugh. I was edgy from that damn pill, but it had been bothering me. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to bring it up.

Axel exhaled, glancing away and then back at me. “I don’t know, Quinn,” he said. “I’ve hung out with her in the past, but she’s always made more out of it then it really was. She’s just part of the circle of friends.”

I felt something inside me ignite. “Was she your girlfriend?” I tried so hard not to sound jealous. But I was. Even though I asked the question, I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know the answer.

“No,” he answered softly. “She was never my girlfriend. I never saw her that way.”

“Did you ever sleep with her?” The minute the words left my mouth, I regretted them. I hadn’t intended to take the conversation this far, but the questions just kept coming.

I saw Axel’s eyes widen for a second then go back to normal. He pulled my hand closer to him, gently. “Does it really matter?”

My stomach leaped to my throat. My head spiraled. What had I expected? Why had I let myself fall for Axel in the first place? Jillian was just one woman. How many other women would I have to deal with from the past and the future?

“So, she was never your girlfriend, you just slept with her? Is that what you’re planning on doing with me?”

Axel’s eyes narrowed and his expression hardened. “Quinn, I just got done telling you I love you. Would I say those words if I was planning on just sleeping with you like some groupie?”

I wouldn’t listen. All I could think of was the fact that

Axel had slept with Jillian, and it made me ill. “Was she a good fuck?” My voice dripped with contempt.

“Quinn, you need to stop.” He pushed a glass of water my way and then reached for one of my hands again. “I think that pill is fucking with you a little. Just try to relax.”

The lump in my throat had begun to suffocate me. The pill was fucking with me, but that wasn’t the only reason I was upset. I did everything I could not to cry. I tried pulling my hand away, but Axel tightened his grip.

“So, are you still sleeping with her?” I swallowed hard. “Is it just part of your circle? No big deal?”

“Quinn.” Axel’s voice was calm. “There is nothing going on with Jillian. There is nothing going on with anyone. You are the only one I’m with and the only one I want to be with. Take a big breath and relax.”

Tags: Alexa Riley Erotic
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