Chaos Bleeds had cleaned the place up and it was actually a pretty decent place to live. A good environment to have kids, raise a family. All of it.
“Uncle Miles!! Nathan suddenly screamed.
He came down the slide and ran to the park gates. She turned to see Miles and Daisy there, watching.
She smiled. “How long have you two been here?”
“Long enough to know you need to get inside. You’re freezing your ass off. Me and the little guy, we’re going to go and grab a decent pizza. How about it?” Miles asked.
“You don’t have to do that. I can cook. I do know how.”
“I know, but my treat. I want to spoil you guys.”
Daisy held her hands open, and together, they met in the middle, hugging tightly. “Come on, let’s get out of here. It’s so cold. What are you doing hanging out in a park?”
Tabitha laughed. Holding her friend’s hand, they walked toward the apartment building. Typing in her code, she let them in, and they went up to her apartment.
As she removed her jacket, she was pleased she left the heating on to keep the place warm while she’d been out. She would’ve been screwed otherwise.
“I can’t believe you’re here.”
“In the flesh. I know it’s going to be a hard time for you. With everything going on, I didn’t want to give you a choice.”
Tabitha went to the kitchen, filled up the kettle, and put it on top of the stove. “You want a coffee?”
“Yeah, love one. Miles will probably bring back beers. I’m the driver for tonight,” she said.
“Who else has come?” Tabitha asked.
“Me, Miles, Anthony as well, but he’s back at the clubhouse. Lash, Tiny, Eva. She’s with Lexie. She wanted to come but I told her I’d let you know we’re here first. They’re trying to organize something for Thanksgiving but with Simon back, I think they’re just pretending to be too busy so you can stay home.”
“Oh.” Thanksgiving was one of those subjects she tried not to think about. Staring at her friend right now, she knew she’d have to make a decision eventually.
“I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
“Believe me, you don’t do anything to make me sad. Just … I can’t come home.”
“You still see it as home?” Daisy asked.
“It is home.” She turned her back on her friend, pulling down two mugs and adding in some espresso. She needed something to do right now. Everything felt messed up.
“It’s not your home, Tabs. Unless you want to come home.”
She paused. “Do you want sugar?”
“No thanks.”
The kettle had finished and she made their drinks. “Let’s have a comfortable seat.” She carried them through to the sitting room. Putting out two coasters, she placed them on top, being delicate. Inside her head, she was screaming. Ignoring the drive to let loose, she sat down and finally turned toward her friend.
“You’re pissed?”
“I’m not. Honestly. You’re right. Fort Wills, I need to stop seeing it as my home. It’s just hard, you know. I’ve got a lot … there are so many memories there.”
“I miss you,” Daisy said. “We all do.”
“I guess it’s not the same here at the moment. Simon’s living here, I think. He stayed the night on the sofa. He’s good with Nathan.” She told Daisy what he said about her son.
“You know, I’ve always found Simon a pain in the ass, but I can’t help but love him a little bit.”
She giggled. “I know. I … everything is so messed up. I don’t know what to say or do half the time. He’s a great guy. I know he is, but we have that history.”
Daisy took her hand. “What you need to do is stop thinking about your history. Or if you do, put it back into a context.” She held her arms open. “This here is the span of your and Simon’s life together. From the first moment you met, ’til now.” She pointed between her hands, circling them, showing how much life they had together. Then she circled a large chunk of invisible air. “This here, this is the section pre-Ryan. He didn’t matter. You and Simon, together, forever. Remember? You were always supposed to be together and whenever anyone asked, you’d always say you were going to be together forever. Kind of creepy, but even I remember you guys constantly talking about your future together. Even when we were kids.”
Tabitha smiled.
“Now this section. This is the C-Ryan section.”
“C-Ryan?”
“Yeah, current Ryan section.” Daisy moved her finger to a point. “This is where it all started. What he did and the decision Simon took into his own hands. It’s all relevant. The only problem is when this should be the post-Ryan era, it keeps on coming back. You’ve either got to forgive him or make a decision to move on.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Fuck, I hate this. I hate crying.”