“Sounds wonderful to me,” Kent said. “I always thought it would be great to have a big family.”
James snorted. “Sometimes I’d like a rest from mine, but I guess I’m mostly thankful.” He paused and began to buff his badge with a napkin. “You know, you could help me out a little. If you married Phae, that’d be one less person I’d have to worry about and you’d have that big family you always wanted.”
“I’ve only seen the woman twice, James. We’re not ready for the altar quite yet.”
The sheriff gave his badge one last stroke then looked up at Kent. “Just makin’ suggestions. Besides, you owe me. Aren’t I the one who rescued you the other night?”
Kent had reached his limit on laundry pole jokes. “Don’t get on that again. I’ve heard every lame joke there is about it. I do have some pride, you know.”
“You’re right, my friend. I apologize.”
Kent saw the teasing glint in James’ eyes and knew he was full of it. “So, what, exactly, is the fine police force around here doing to catch this Captain Nice Guy?”
“Why would we catch him? He’s done a lot of good things for folks.”
“I know, and I guess that’s okay, but you can’t have a vigilante running around righting the world’s wrongs without anyone to double-check his verdicts. I’d think you’d see that after what happened to me. It may have worked out in the end, but what if he’d had a gun?”
“Nah. the other night was a fluke. It’s never happened before. The guy is careful and never tries to do my job for me.”
James looked solemnly at Kent and spoke in a low voice so he wouldn’t be overheard by the other diners in the cafe. “Once, about a year and a half ago, I got a call at the office from a man who wouldn’t identify himself. He said there was a house over on tenth street that was being used as a meth lab. He gave the address and hung up. I checked it out, to be on the safe side, and sure enough, the caller was right. I got to make one of the biggest drug busts in county history.”
“It was Captain Nice Guy who made that call,” James continued. “He didn’t interfere and he didn’t take the law into his own hands. I’m telling you, he’s careful.”
“How do you know it was him?”
“He uses an electronic voice disguiser when he calls. He’s reported numerous things using it.”
Kent toyed with the glass salt shaker on the table, fidgety and unwilling to drop his opinion. “What else has this guy done?”
“Little things mostly, like replacing stolen bicycles and finding lost dogs, though it’s hard to say for sure. He’s been at it longer than the public knows. Who could say?”
“I’d think that would make you nervous. This guy sounds like he could cause trouble for you if he switched loyalties. After all, nobody’s seen him, so he must be good at slipping in and out of places unseen.”
James grinned. “You’re getting a little carried away, don’t you think? What do you think the man’s been up to all this time? Practicing for a future career as a cat burglar?”
“Okay, you’re probably right. But something about it doesn’t sit right with me. Do you have any guesses who he might be?”
“I have my suspicions, along with everybody else in this town. Guessing who Captain Nice Guy is has become one of our favorite games.”
For several moments, Kent considered what James had told him. What made a person slink around at night doing good deeds for others? Why not simply be up front about it and take the deserved credit?
Kent couldn’t understand why the man had made everything so secretive. It didn’t make sense. Something else was going on here, and Kent wanted to be the one to discover it.
“How do you know,” he asked James, “that the Captain is a man? He could be a woman.”
James burst out laughing. “A woman? You’ve got to be joking. What kind of woman would do the stuff this guy does? Oh yeah, I can see it—some woman out on the prowl, looking for criminals. I wonder if she paints her nails while she’s on stakeout.”
Kent scowled.
James slapped his thigh and hooted even louder. “You’ve been watching too many movies, friend.”
Kent ignored him. We’ll see, my friend, Kent thought as he shoved the salt shaker back into the shiny metal napkin holder.
The waitress walked up and offered to refill their cups. Kent declined.
“I’ve got to get home before Aunt Eugenia finds out I’m gone,” Kent said. “I’ve already pushed my luck.”
“You’d better hurry. I don’t want her finding you with me. She’ll accuse me of being a bad influence again. Remember when she did that?”
“As I recall, you spread trash all over her back yard and made me play in it.”
James wasn’t impressed. “Don’t start. You know it was you who threw that trash everywhere because you wanted to pretend we were on a treasure hunt. Best treasure I found was a half-eaten cupcake covered in grass clippings.”
“Hey, that was an ancient offering to Pharaoh Tut.”
“You were a bossy kid. Imaginative, though,” James said with a grin.
“I wasn’t all that bossy.”
“Hell you weren’t. You’d get full of yourself and start bossing me around like I was one of those servants you had back at your folks’ mansion. I’d have to take you down a peg or two every now and then to remind you what’s what.”
“You’re exaggerating. I wasn’t that bad. And anyway, I’ve outgrown it.”
James cocked an eyebrow. “Sure you have. Anyway, here’s a warning. Don’t try bossing Phae around, not if you don’t want to be taken down a dozen pegs at a whack.”
Kent tossed some money on the table and rose from his chair. “James, your cousin can take me anywhere she wants. And now I’m getting out of here before you start attacking all my other faults. Not that I have many.”
The two men chuckled as Kent walked away.
Before Kent reached the door, James called out. “Hey there, Luke. Did I ever tell you I’ve known that fellow by the door there just about forever? Yep, we were buds every summer when he visited his aunt.”
Kent opened the door and almost managed to slip away before hearing James’ punch line.
“Yep,” James called, “I knew that fellow a looooong time before he got all famous for knocking himself silly on laundry poles.”
The cafe patrons hooted.
As he shut the door on their catcalls, he wondered if he’d ever live that one down. Probably not.
Chapter 6
PHAE STOOD IN FRONT OF the small booth and inspected the growing crowd. She glanced at her watch. It was nearly seven-thirty. She peered around the fairgrounds once again.
“I can’t imagine who you’re looking for,” Neesa said, fussing with a pink crepe paper bow affixed to the front counter.
“I’m not looking for anyone. I’m impatient to get home.” She sighed and turned to Sylvie. “Honestly, you can’t have a kissing booth in this day and age. There’s too many diseases.”
“I’m doing all the kissing, so I don’t see what your problem is.” Sylvie strolled up and plopped down on a metal stool behind the counter, smiling at the passersby and batting her eyelashes.
“My problem is that we aren’t doing any business,” Phae said, leaning against the counter.
“Quit that!” Neesa interjected. “You’re mashing my decorations. And stop griping. She’s only kissing on the cheek.” She propped her hands on her hips. “And if we aren’t doing any business, it’s your fault. You’re supposed to be the barker. So get on out there and bark, sister. Bark, bark, bark.”
“I’m not some damned dog,” Phae mumbled as she shuffled to the front of the booth. “But fine, I’ll do it.”
She couldn’t believe she’d agreed to do this stupid thing. In a bored, weary voice, she called out, “Hear ye, hear ye. Gather around.”
People swarmed past, paying her no attention.
She rolled her eyes and waved sloppily. “Buy a kiss from
the pretty lady. Sure, it’s only a kiss on the cheek, but you can’t be too careful these days. Guaranteed mono-free.”
“Psst!” Neesa hissed at her. “We don’t make guarantees. We don’t need legal issues.”
“Hey, I resent that,” Sylvie said. “I don’t have mono!”
“Whatever,” Phae said and called out into the crowd. “Probably mono-free, mostly, but not guaranteed for legal reasons. Come on. Buy a kiss from the pretty, loony girl. Only a dollar. Support the Zeke’s Bend Animal Shelter.”
Neesa laughed. “That’s the worst barking I’ve heard in my whole life. You could at least look at the people while you’re talking to them.”
Phae shrugged.
Sylvie smoothed her hair. “You’re out of sorts because you-know-who isn’t here.”
“I’m not looking for him.” Phae stepped out of the stream of traffic and leaned against the support post again.
“I said to quit doing that.” Neesa scowled as harshly as her angelic face would allow. “You’re gonna tear the place down. Here, take my stool. And quit lying. It’s bad for your soul.”
Phae toyed with the tail of her long braid. “My soul’s perfectly fine, thank you.”
Neesa began retying a squashed paper flower. “We know you’re looking for Kent. I caught a glimpse of him the other day. What woman wouldn’t be looking? He’s fine as hell. And I hear he’s a billionaire.”
“He’s not a billionaire,” Phae said. “You know how Miss Eugenia exaggerates.”
“Guy who looks like that, he doesn’t need money,” Sylvie said.
“But it doesn’t hurt,” Neesa added with a knowing grin.
Sylvie waved and flirted at a likely-looking older man who walked on by without stopping. She sighed. “You know you’ve got it bad, Phae. And what’s wrong with that? I’ve never seen you act the way you did at the diner. You wouldn’t have believed it, Neesa. They practically sizzled together. And Phae was all like, ‘Cancel my appointment, Sylvie,’ just because he said so. It was like, ‘Bam!’ and ‘Boom!’ and they were looking at each other like they were gonna take a bite out of something that shouldn’t be bitten in a public place.”