I scoffed at this. "More aware? Do you have any idea how terrified I’ve been?”
"Listen, I know this can be tough to hear, but even under our protection things can't always be one-hundred percent safe. And that's not something I try to tell people when they first go into the program, understand. But you've been under our wing for a while now, so you know the drill. I will keep in touch with you as much as I can from now on, at least until we know what's going on with the families. There's been a lot of talk about this trust between the five of them, and that's saying something. They fight a lot as it is. I just want you to be aware of what's going on over here, so that it doesn't affect you over there."
My chest rattled as I drew in a breath, still having trouble concentrating one what he was saying. "So I'm to be on my best guard, even though we don't really know why, and I'm just supposed be okay with it? I'm having a baby, for Christ's sake. This isn't some game I can play, like hide and seek. What do you suggest I do, exactly?"
"That's something that I've been speaking with Mr. Malveaux about, actually. So maybe that's something you guys should be talking about as well. As for my thoughts, personally, I feel like you'd be safer staying on grounds there at the château. I'll keep you up-to-date, like I said. That's all we can do, and that's all you can do," he replied.
I shook my head, cursing under my breath so that he couldn’t hear me.
"Got it. Is there anything else I need to know?"
"No, I guess not. It was nice getting to talk to you again, Miss Jackson.”
After I hung up with him, I silently put the phone back in my small pocket, pushing the blowing strands of hair out of my face. I thought about what he had said about Julien talking with him about this very thing. I held back when I was speaking to Agent Wilson, but I wasn't going to hold back with Julien. No way in hell.
I wanted to be happy about everything in my life, because that would make it so much easier on me. But I couldn't. Not knowing that I was now bringing in another life to this crazy drama of my own. Even with Agent Wilson's words I couldn't help but feel like I was doing my child a disfavor. I had very dangerous men looking for me now, and who knows if they would ever really stop. Once my baby was born, they would be wrapped up in all of that as well. And that was not something I could be happy about.
I stormed back up to the château, taking the paved path this time. I passed Trudy, one of the part-timers on the weekends, and even she knew to stay the hell on my way. I was on a mission, and I wouldn't stop until I found Julien.
Luckily it didn't take too long to find him. He was talking with Marie and Desmond, another part-timer, down the main hall. My shoes clicked heavily along the floor, signaling my presence to everyone, and as everyone turned around they all seemed to give me a wary look. Especially Julien.
I pointed at him as I got closer, my finger jabbing accusations already. "I just talked to Agent Wilson… You knew! You knew this whole freaking time, and you didn't even have the decency to tell me what was going on? How could you even think like that Julien, afte
r everything I've been through? Does my opinion mean nothing to you anymore?"
My cheeks reddened as I realized I was throwing down with him in the middle of everyone, but I didn't care. He was going to hear what I had to say, and there was no way around it this time. His gaze dropped from mine down to the floor below, and I could already tell he was feeling guilty and sheepish. Oh well. He slowly walked over to me, as if he was trying to soothe a raging bull. He would only be so lucky.
"Sweetheart —"
"Sweetheart nothing! Stop trying to bullshit me, Julien. It's not going to work. I want to know what is going on, and I want to hear it from your mouth, not someone else's."
I put my hand on my hip for good emphasis. I was not having any of this. He was going to be straight with me if he wanted me to stick around. And judging by the horrified looks both Desmond and Marie were getting me, I was making my point clear enough.
Julien finally put his hand around my waist, as if to pull me from my spot. I stood stock- still, not letting him.
"Why don't we have this conversation elsewhere? We should talk about this in private, don't you think?" he mumbled to me. I looked at him like he had lost his mind.
"Oh no you don't. We’re having this conversation right here, right now. I don't care who is watching. Does not matter to me one bit. I want the answer."
He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. Must have been a thing that I had picked up from him, I guess.
"If you insist, Bree,” he emphasized my newly-given name, as if to make a point himself. He turned to Desmond and Marie.
“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you both to leave us for a few moments.”
He waited for the two of them to leave earshot before continuing.
“I was worried about your stress level. I was only thinking of you and the baby, truly. After I received that phone call from Agent Wilson I knew that if you found out it would only worry you more... And that's really the last thing you need, right? We have so much going on right now, so much to prepare for. And believe me when I say I'm worrying enough for the both of us. I’ve taken extra precautions."
"I don't need any more stress on me, but you still need to talk to me. There are no secrets between us, and I know you feel the same way. You wouldn’t want me to keep something like this from you…"
His teeth gritted together and he was clearly agitated with me and my stubbornness. "No, I wouldn't want you keeping something for me. But this isn't just something, this is something dangerous. And while I can see why you are angry with me for not having said something about it to begin with, let me assure you that I had planned on bringing it up with you once I had a clear plan of action. For now, the best I can do is try to keep you out of the public eye, and you’re doing a poor job of that by shouting about any of this in front of my staff."
The attitude in his voice astounded me but I knew he was right… Maybe I wanted a scene, but I didn't want all of our business out there. All I knew was that Julien and I had a lot to talk about. Even more than just things regarding the baby. And that was plenty enough on our plate, as it was.
"There is much to discuss, I'm afraid. And some of it you're probably not going to agree with, or enjoy. But it's not about that anymore, it's about keeping you and the baby safe. Can we agree to have this talk another time? Very soon, but not right this minute? I'd rather just spend some time with you without having all these things rotating through my mind constantly," Julien asked.
The look in his eyes told me he was downright exhausted, and I could feel the heat of my rage simmering down. He had a good point. We had plenty of time to talk about this while we were not standing in the middle the hallway for all to hear. And I was feeling a little tired as it was, myself.