A long silence passed before Kari answered. “Don’t forget, we talked about this. You can’t get around that, can you? The papers were signed, he’s back, and he obviously wants to move forward in some kind of way. He’s probably gonna want Hampton — or, at least, to see him. Something. You’re not going to know until you meet with him. The Hampton thing aside, remember that you’re glad he’s alive.”
Amara’s eyes widened. “Of course I’m happy. I’m not heartless. And I don’t want to get around it either. I’m so glad Quint made it out alive, but I can’t lose Hampton. He’s my world.”
“I know, honey. Now go to the dinner, and see if you can work something out. Maybe his priorities have changed since the crash. An ordeal like that can put your life into perspective. Or that’s what I hear. Did you see him on the news, though? He wasn’t looking so hot. I couldn’t see too much, but I know what he’s supposed to look like and that wasn’t it.”
After leaning down to give Hampton a gentle kiss at the crown of his head, Amara realized she was standing and re-took her seat. “He was trying to hide it, but, yeah, it was pretty obvious. The coat was so big, and he was hiding his face. I mean, people do that when they don’t want pictures taken. Who would want to be on magazine covers after all that? I can’t blame him. I’m just scared, Kari.”
Kari gave a low hum, clicking her tongue a few times before speaking. “If you want, I could watch Hampton while you’re out. My place or yours, either way. I always love to spend time with him.”
“I think I’ll drop him off at Momma’s. She’s always begging me to let her watch him, no matter how little time it’s been since she’s seen him.”
As Amara took a breath to go on, it hitched in her throat as she realized the implication of Quint’s return. “Oh, God, what am I going to do about that if Quint wants Hampton? What do I tell Momma?”
“I don’t want to rub salt in your wounds,” Kari said, “but you should have come clean with her a long time ago.”
“I couldn’t do it. There was no way. I didn’t think I’d have to. She’s not going to understand any of this. She can’t.”
“You don’t have a choice now, do you?”
“I guess not. It’s only a matter of time until somebody snaps a picture of Quint and Hampton together or something. You know how Momma watches TV and reads those magazines. If I told her that the adoptive parents from before came to get Hampton, she’s gonna see that and kill me. Not that I can give Hampton up now, no matter what. I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m making no sense.”
Amara leaned over, pressing her palm to her forehead. “I should’ve been honest from the beginning. It was too easy to simply let people think what they wanted. I fucked up, Kari. Bad.”
“Hey, hey. Come on. You couldn’t have known Quint would be coming back. No one could have expected you to hold onto the hope he’d turn up one day. In your position, I would have done the same thing.”
“You would not have.”
“Well,” Kari said cautiously, “maybe not. It doesn’t matter what I would have done, though. Seriously. You’re in a pretty tight spot, but it doesn’t have to be a catastrophe. You never know about mothers. Raneesha might understand.”
“Never.”
“Maybe Quint wants to meet up to tell you that he wants you to keep Hampton since you’ve been raising him by yourself this whole time. Maybe he wants some kind of joint custody. We don’t know anything yet. Don’t go borrowing trouble.”
Every time Kari took on that upbeat tone, Amara couldn’t help but acquiesce to whatever she was pushing for. “Fine, fine. I’ll drop Hampton off with Momma and go meet Quint. I don’t think Quint knows where she lives, but it wouldn’t be hard for him to find out, would it? Anybody could, not that it matters. I don’t know what I’m talking about. Why would Quint go to Momma’s house?”
Amara groaned loudly as she stood and pushed her chair back. “This is ridiculous. I need to stop worrying. You’re right. Worst case scenario, I bring it to court and argue for custody rights. A contract like that can’t hold up after all that’s happened. I mean, a lot of the language was talking about right after birth, and —”
Kari cut in, interrupting her train of thought. “Amara, stop. Come on. Go meet the man and figure things out from there. Talk to him. I can’t tell you one way or the other. You’re going to give yourself a heart attack if you don’t calm down.”
The force Kari laid on those last words snapped Amara out of her episode. She was silent for a long moment, her mouth half-opened, her next worried sentence cut short. “You’re right. You’re right. Okay. I have a few hours until I have to be there. Plenty of time. Everything is fine, and one way or another, it’s going to work out. Quint’s not an unreasonable guy. He’ll at least listen to what I have to say … right?”
“Right. Now get yourself together, get Hampton’s overnight bag, and take him to Grandma’s house for an overnight stay. You got this.”
Amara scowled in determination. “Yeah, you’re right. I’ll talk to you later, Kari. Thanks again.”
“No problem. You know I’ve always got your back. Thick and thin. Call me later.”
As they hung up, Amara tried to hold Kari’s advice and assurances in her mind. She repeated the encouragement over and over as she got dressed for dinner and put Hampton’s usual overnight bag together. Then she called her mother.
/> Even as she spoke on the phone with Raneesha, Amara’s mind remained on the surety and serenity she felt, holding tight to it. Amara knew she was adaptable, strong, resilient — just like her mother.
More than beauty, more than intelligence, or any other quantifiable thing about her, Amara prized her strength to carry on despite any adverse circumstance. Though she’d taken a hard hit when her sponsors pulled out, Quint caught her.
It was the only time she’d ever relied on anyone that way, but their meeting was pure serendipity as far as Amara was concerned. He was there when she needed him most, and there was no way she could try to strong-arm him or mislead him about anything at the dinner.
He deserved better, considering the way he’d taken care of both her maternal health and her financial situation.
The same mantra that got her through so many of her personal hardships and fears was the one she repeated silently to herself on the drive over to her mother’s house.