I felt—I feel—like I’m stuck.
Like it’s my life that shattered when he—when everything else ended.
It broke into a thousand tiny pieces.
When he hit the ground.
I couldn’t stand to look at my journal anymore. I couldn’t write poetry; it hurt to even read it.
It was all too true.
The most important person in my life died jumping off the Summerville water tower. I knew why he did it. Knowing why didn’t make me feel any better.
Knowing he did it for me only made me feel worse.
Sometimes I didn’t think the world was worth it.
Saving.
Sometimes I didn’t think I was worth it either.
Ethan thought he was doing the right thing. He knew it was crazy. And he didn’t want to go, but he had to anyway.
Ethan was like that.
Even if he was dead.
He saved the world, but he shattered mine.
What now?
BOOK ONE
Ethan
CHAPTER 1
Home
A blur of blue sky over my head.
Cloudless.
Perfect.
Just like the sky in real life, only a little more blue and a little less sun in my eyes.
I guess the sky in real life isn’t actually perfect. Maybe that’s what makes it so perfect.
Made it.
I squeezed my eyes shut again.
I was stalling.
I wasn’t sure I was ready to see whatever was out there to see. Of course the sky looked better—Heaven being what it was and all.
Not to assume that’s where I was. I’d been a decent guy, as far as I could tell. But I had seen enough to know that everything I thought about everything had pretty much been wrong so far.