“What if I’m wrong? What if I pursue her only to realize my heart isn’t in it?”
“Caleb, your heart is already in it, or you wouldn’t have asked her over or shown her your photos.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. “How do you even know this?”
“Small town living hasn’t changed. Carol saw you in Bree’s gallery, and then Lindy told her mom, who told Sharon, who told—you get the picture.”
“You ladies need a hobby.”
Mom laughs. “We have one. It’s called spilling the tea, and we do it very well.”
I glance at the time on the microwave and see that I need to get Alyssa into bed. I tell my mom goodnight and thank her for her advice. I make it a point to hang up before going into the living room. If Alyssa knows her nana is on the phone, it’ll be another hour before she makes it to bed.
“Bedtime,” I tell her as I enter the living room. She sits up, the couch crinkling from the plastic still on it. “Sorry, I’ll take this off now.” I expect Alyssa to head toward the bathroom to brush her teeth, but she starts lifting the plastic off the sofa. “Thanks for helping.”
“You’re welcome, Daddy. It’s kind of embarrassing.”
I nod. “I know. I should’ve taken it off earlier.”
“Is Bree going to be your girlfriend?”
I wad the covering up into my arms, set it down, and pull Alyssa into my arms. Together, we collapse onto the couch. It’s soft and molds to my body. “I was going to wait until tomorrow to talk to you about Bree. But, since you’re asking now, I want to make sure I answer your questions. I don’t want to hide anything from you. You will always be my number one girl, no matter what. Got it?”
Alyssa keeps eye contact with me and nods.
“I like Bree, and back when we were in high school, I liked her a lot, but she had a boyfriend. Then I met your mom, and we fell in love.”
“And then you had me.”
“Well, yes, but we dated and moved in together and then got married.”
“And then you had me.”
“Yep, and you were the best thing to ever happen to me. And your mom. She loved you so much.” I tilt forward and kiss her nose. “I hadn’t thought about Bree in a long time until we saw her yesterday with Santa, and then I remember how much I liked her when I was younger.”
“I like her too. She smiles a lot, and she’s a better cook than you. No offense.”
“None taken. I’m just happy that you like her because I like her a lot, and I think it might be nice if Bree is around more, if you’re okay with her being here.”
“Well . . .” Alyssa’s legs bounce up and down. “I’m okay with it if she is. You should really ask her, Daddy, because maybe she doesn’t like you.”
I can’t help but laugh. My daughter is right. Here I am, thinking about my feelings and not considering or even knowing what Bree is thinking or feeling. “You’re right. Maybe she doesn’t. I think I’ll ask Santa. He should know, right?”
Alyssa’s eyes go wide. “Yes! Santa knows everything!”
Let’s hope, kid.After picking Alyssa up for school, we head to Steve’s tree farm. It’s the only place in town that allows us to cut our own trees—if we want—and also has pre-cut trees for purchase. For as long as I can remember, this is where my family has picked their tree.
Alyssa climbs out of the car and makes her way toward the farm. Steve is outside trimming trees, as I’ve always remembered. “Heard you were back in town.” He comes over and shakes my hand. “I sure have missed you around here.”
“Yep, back for good,” I tell him even though I hadn’t decided until that moment. Guess I’m more ready to move on than I thought. “Steve, this is my daughter, Alyssa.”
“Hi, nice to meet you,” she says, extending her hand. “Nana says you have the best trees.”
“Your nana is correct. Come on, let me show you.”
Alyssa and I find the perfect tree within minutes, and after Steve helps tie it down to my car, we’re on our way home.
“That was fun,” she says from the backseat. “We should do it more often.”
I laugh and remind her that Christmas only comes once a year. She replied with, “I’m going to have to talk to Nana about that.” As if Nana has all the answers and can fix everything. I suppose to a little girl she can.
I’m pleasantly surprised to find Bree’s car in my driveway when we pull in. Alyssa is as eager to see her as I am and doesn’t hide the fact. She squeals as she unbuckles and forgets to close the car door after she bolts from it. I take my time, trying to play it cool when all I want to do is get the next hour-plus of activities out of the way so I can be alone with Bree and see if what I’m feeling is just a reaction to having her near me or if what I’m feeling is real. The way my body reacts to her presence tells me everything is legit.