I’m going to be wearing my one remaining little black dress and it’s a good one.
It’s tight. Flattering. Short enough that my bare legs will feel noticeably exposed.
Wearing it makes me feel good. Even a little bit slutty.
My highest heels will make running difficult. The bait will be easy to snare when the time comes. I doubt I’ll outrun him even ten paces.
And it’s crazy.
This whole thing is too crazy for words. Too crazy to ever survive being spoken aloud, so it’s a good thing I have nobody left to share it with.
I’m going to be attacked by a stranger on a dark night in a strange town. Once I leave that club I’ll have no way out. No safe word. No friend waiting on standby to come to my aid.
Just me and him – the monster and his steel-sculpted dick and the promise to fuck me up bad.
I might be walking into the biggest mistake of my life, but I’ll be doing it with a smile on my crazy face.
I’m rational enough to contemplate the possibility that Phoenix Burning is some kind of serial killer psychopath, and I’m painfully aware that my night with him could be my last.
I know the risks. I feel them in every fibre of my body.
They make me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life.
The thrill must be contagious. In that one working week alone I’m invited out on three different socials. I’m included in more photocopier gossip sessions than I’ve been party to in the entire four months previous. I’m buzzing on an insane high.
And then finally, after the longest week in all eternity, I’m standing in front of my full-length mirror in my little black dress.
My hair is washed and straightened. My eyes have a cat flick that’s right on point. My lips are ruby red.
My bra is black lace and barely covers my nipples. My thong is a scrap of lace that will grant no modesty.
My perfume is Dior and my handbag holds nothing but my phone, keys, and purse. No hidden weapons. No emergency panic alarm should things get out of control.
In honesty, if tonight night turns out to be my last, and Phoenix Burning turns out to be the one who ends me, I’ll just be bummed that he delivered so much colour to my life before he took it away.
My legs barely carry me to my car when the time comes. My knees tremble all the way through my drive into Malvern. My heart is in my throat when I see the sign for Malvern Link train station.
I pick a space by the ticket booth. I steady my breath before I dare to risk getting out and standing.
It’s still light outside, plenty bright enough to lend the illusion that I’m just a girl on a night out. But the illusion lends me no confidence. My eyes dart all around me with every step, my body braced to run every time someone appears in view.
But I keep it together.
I keep on walking, and underneath the fear I’m wanting this just as much as I always have.
The road leads through an industrial estate, just as he said it would. The buildings are tall and looming, even in the evening light.
No doubt they’ll be terrifying in the darkness.
Even though my mouth is bone dry and my legs feel boneless, my bare thighs are noticeably clammy as I wait in line for entry to the club. My clit tingles every time I shift position in the queue.
I’m a jittery mess as I take a seat at the edge of the bar, scanning the gathering crowds for any sign of him.
I sip my Coke and I wonder if I’d recognise him. If somehow his dark intentions would shine their light right back at mine. I look for what I know – dark features and inked skin, but it’s busy. Too dark and crowded to stand a hope a hell of identifying some random guy in the room.
I wonder if he’s watching me. I wonder if he’s been following me all along.
He told me to dance, so I do. My body feels clumsy and my heels make me feel like I’m twirling on toothpicks. Every breath feels tight, but I don’t care.
I hope he can see me.
I hope he’s hard.
The week leading up to this took a thousand years. The hours in the club pass by in a breath.
I freshen up in the bathroom and flinch as I check the time on my phone.
Shit.
Midnight has been and gone already. Two hours left before closing and I know it’s time to go.
It’s obvious why he chose this place. It’s remote – so far from the main High Street that the surroundings will be deserted. Dangerous.
Just a few short steps from the safety of the club and I’ll be easy prey.