‘I didn’t need anyone’s help,’ she protested.
‘I think you still blame yourself for your sister’s death.’
‘What?’ She could feel the blood draining out of her face.
‘You can’t deny it,’ he insisted. ‘When the judge ruled in your favour, it was supposed to be for ever—that’s what you believed. You and Lyddie would live happily ever after—’
‘Stop it!’ she begged, but he wouldn’t stop.
‘When we were sharing things, you told me how hard you fought to keep the two of you together when your parents died. You must have felt that your world had come to an end when your sister was killed too.’
She was sobbing openly now.
‘You were left with a gaping hole you thought you’d never fill—’
‘You don’t know anything about my feelings,’ Jen exclaimed, wheeling away to hide the emotion swamping her.
‘It was an accident, Jen,’ Luca insisted. Taking hold of her shoulders, he turned her to face him. ‘Your sister’s death was a tragic accident. You can’t hold yourself responsible for that.’
He stopped as Jen made a defensive gesture as if she couldn’t bear to hear any more.
‘Is avoiding the truth the legacy your sister would have wanted to leave?’ he asked after a few tense seconds had passed. ‘You knew her better than anyone.’
‘Yes, I did,’ Jen returned fiercely. ‘So I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your theories to yourself.’
‘Would she want you to ignore what your heart’s telling you?’
‘And what is that, exactly?’ she demanded tensely.
‘That you love me, and I love you, which means we have to be honest with each other.’
‘I am being honest with you,’ she exclaimed in a tone hoarse with emotion.
‘Are you? Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin the first time we made love?’
‘What?’
‘Didn’t you think I’d know?’ Luca shook his head. ‘I’m not proud of what I did, because I suspected all along, and then I knew for sure, but it still didn’t stop me.’
‘I didn’t want you to stop.’
‘I won’t use that as an excuse. I’m trying to show you that, whatever you think of me, I only have your best interests at heart. There are things I can’t tell you,’ he admitted, ‘not until I understand Raoul’s intentions. I get that you’re still suffering the loss of your sister. These things only ease with the passage of time, and two years isn’t that long. I get that you don’t know who to trust, or what to believe, but please—’
Her bitter laugh cut him off. ‘Are you asking me to trust you?’
‘Yes. If you’re having my baby, of course I am.’ Catching hold of her, he brought her in front of him. ‘Nothing is as important to me as that, but I do have to get my brother’s will sorted out, and anything you can tell me might just help. Can’t you see how important you are to me? You’re everything, Jen.’
He meant every word. If Jen was expecting his child—his child—she was the centre of his universe.
The future flashed in front of Jen’s eyes. For all the fierce pride reflected on Luca’s face at the possibility that he might be about to become a father, he was still suspicious, or why was he continuing to ask her so many questions? If she reacted angrily now, and pushed him away, there would be constant battles ahead of them. If she were pregnant, those battles would impact on their child.
He made things easier when he drew her close, and, in a voice of infinite tenderness, breathed against her hair, ‘I’m sorry, Jen. You must think I’m always challenging you, but there’s so much I don’t understand about my brother’s life, and you’re the only one who can fill in those gaps.’
‘I’m sorry too,’ Jen said honestly. ‘I’m sorry it’s come to this, with us fighting each other. I’m sure it’s the last thing Raoul would have wanted.’
‘If you’re pregnant you can blame your hormones,’ Luca said, holding her so he could stare wryly into her face, ‘but I have no excuse.’
‘Apart from your love for your brother,’ she said. ‘It’s hard to forgive you for not trusting me,’ Jen said honestly. ‘And I can’t pretend I’m not shocked by Raoul’s last wishes, but you have to believe me when I say I had absolutely no idea he was going to do this—’
As emotion overwhelmed her, she swayed, and Luca caught her.
‘Forget it,’ he said. ‘You’ve had enough stress for one day.’ Bringing her close, he kissed the top of her head. ‘I promise you this...if I have to spend the rest of my life making up for what you’ve been through, I will. You’re far too important to me to let anything get in the way.’
Luca’s eyes had changed, darkened, and she had no strength left to fight him. She did feel faint. And she did feel hurt. She was still angry with him for not trusting her, but they’d both suffered so much grief, and neither of them had ever had the chance to express it before. If ever there was time for understanding, it was now. The only time she felt comforted was when she was in Luca’s arms. And he was so gentle with her now as he dipped his head to kiss her that she had to respond. He kept on kissing her and reassuring her with words that eventually made her smile, and then those words changed to whispered suggestions that made her body yearn for him. Feeling her soften, his hands moved from cupping her face to cupping her naked breasts beneath the towelling robe. He knew exactly what to do, and exactly what to say to add to her mounting arousal. And when her legs weakened and she exhaled on a shaking breath, he lifted her into his arms and carried her to bed.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
GENTLE LOVEMAKING COULD be as pleasurable as any other type of lovemaking, maybe even more so, Jen discovered. She and Luca had been fierce together, sleepy in bed, and had made love up against a wall. He had taken her over a sofa, in the shower and on the floor, but this steady rhythm, so smooth and slow, and yet so firm and dependable, was the most extreme build up to release she’d known yet. It was certainly the most emotional. Staring into each other’s eyes as the pleasure built required every bit of control she possessed. She wanted to move fiercely, and greedily claim her reward, but the look in Luca’s eyes told her to hold on just a little longer, and then a little longer still. She groaned and begged him shamelessly for release.
‘Not yet,’ he whispered, pinning her arms above her head so he could kiss her lips, her eyes, her brow, her neck, her breasts.
‘When?’ She opened her legs a little wider, as wide as she could for him, pressing her thighs apart to isolate the area of pleasure he was attending to so expertly. She felt so deliciously sensitive there, which made the torture of being forced to wait for release almost painfully extreme.
She was as high as it got on a plateau of pleasure, waiting—longing to fall off—when Luca whispered, ‘Now...’
She didn’t have to think about it. That one word was enough to send her rocketing into the wildest release yet. She bucked repeatedly, crying out with shocked delight as he held her in place to make sure she received every last, delicious pulse of pleasure. Before the waves of that release had a chance to subside, he was moving again, firmly and reliably to the same deliciously dependable rhythm.
It was a long time after that, when they were lying together with their limbs entwined, and Luca’s arms were cradling her close to his chest, that she told him on an exhausted smile, ‘You’re amazing.’
‘And you’re beautiful.’
She laughed at that, knowing it wasn’t true, but Luca’s gaze remained steady on her face. Brushing her mouth with his lips until she was groggy with love for him, he murmured, ‘And soon to be so fabulously wealthy as well.’
Jen stiffened, her love-fogged brain clicking into gear. ‘Wealthy?’ she said. ‘Please—not that again.’
‘Raoul’s will...we have to talk about it some time.’
‘But not now,’ she said. Hurt obliterated the calm state of happiness she’d been basking in after making love. It was as if she had never rel
axed, and Luca had never made love to her, and she was right back to feeling as she had when he’d first mentioned the wretched will. ‘I think you’d better explain,’ she said angrily, putting as much distance between them as she could.
‘You really don’t know?’
‘I really don’t know,’ she confirmed tensely, dreading what might come next. Shuffling up in the bed, she wrapped the bedclothes around her.
‘I accept you don’t know about Raoul’s will—’
‘That’s very good of you.’ Smoothing her hair, she turned away as Luca rolled over and sat up at her side.
‘I was so sure Raoul must have confided in you.’