"You don't have to do this," I said.
He didn't look at me. "It's what Jeremy wants."
"But that doesn't mean you have to do it. He wants me safe, right? There's got to be another way."
Clay kept his back to me. "I said I'd stay with you. That's what I'm going to do."
"You can do that without going to my apartment."
He stopped and turned just enough so I could see his quarter profile. "How am I supposed to do that? Sleep in the alley outside your building?"
"No, I mean we don't have to go to my apartment. We'll go someplace else. A hotel room or something."
"And you'll go with me?"
"Sure. Of course."
"And you'll stay with me?"
"Exactly. Whatever you want."
I could hear the desperation in my voice and despised it, but I couldn't stop myself. My hands were shaking so badly that people around us were starting to stare.
"Whatever you want," I repeated. "Jeremy won't know. He said he won't contact us by phone, so he won't know whether we're staying at the apartment. I'll be safe and you'll be with me. That's what's important, right?"
For nearly a minute, Clay didn't move. Then he slowly turned toward me. As he did, I caught a glint of something like hope in his eyes, but it vanished as soon as he saw my expression. His jaw tightened and he locked my gaze.
"Fine," he said. "Anything I want?" He wheeled toward a bank of pay phones and grabbed the nearest receiver. "Call him."
"He said we can't call him. No phone contact."
"Not Jeremy. This man. Call him and tell him it's over. The apartment's his. You'll pick up your stuff later."
"That's not--"
"Not what you meant, right? I didn't think so. What's the plan then? You run back and forth between us until you've made up your mind?"
"I've made up my mind. Anything that happened at Stonehaven was a mistake, like it's always been a mistake. I never misled you. You knew there was someone else. It was the same damned thing that happens every time I go back to that place. I get caught up in it. I lose myself."
"In what? The house? A pile of bricks and mortar?"
"In that place," I said, gritting my teeth. "That world and everything about it, including you. I don't want it, but when I'm there, I can't resist. It takes over."
He gave a harsh laugh. "Bullshit. There is nothing in this world or that world or any world that you couldn't fight, Elena. Do you know what magical spell 'that place' has you under? It makes you happy. But you won't admit that because, to you, the only acceptable happiness comes in the 'normal' world, with 'normal' friends and a 'normal' man. You're bound and determined to make yourself happy with that kind of life, even if it kills you."
People were openly staring now. Alarm bells should have been going off in my head, telling me I was acting improperly for the human world. But they weren't. I didn't give a damn. I turned on my heel and glared at two elderly women tut-tutting behind me. They fell back, eyes widening. I strode toward the exit.
"When's the last time you called him?" Clay called after me.
I stopped.
Clay walked up behind me and lowered his voice so no one else could hear. "Not counting this morning when you called to tell him we were coming. When did you last call?"
I said nothing.
"Sunday," he said. "Three days ago."
"I've been busy," I said.