Jeremy heard and sighed, then gave me the information. "Go to the boy's motel, speak to him and then get some rest."
"Do we have an address for Dennis or Joey Stillwell? I was just thinking, if it's on the way..."
He sighed again, and gave me the address.
"DENNIS'S APARTMENT IS closer," I said as I got into the driver's seat. "We should probably stop there before Reese's motel."
"Yeah."
"And I'm guessing you'd rather we checked on Dennis first."
A pause, then a softer "Yeah."
I glanced over as I pulled from the lot. "I know you're worried about them--Dennis and Joey."
"I'm not sure worried is the right word. I feel..." He looked out the side window, fingers drumming the armrest. "I don't really know how I'll feel, seeing Joey again."
I waited. There's no sense prodding Clay to talk. He doesn't need to be encouraged to share his feelings. If he wants to, he will.
"I feel bad, I guess," he said after a moment. "Falling out of touch."
"You were friends."
He nodded. "I was closer to Nick. Joey was a few years older. But, yeah, we were friends. Pack mates. Pack brothers. I should have kept in contact. I just... I was pissed off about them leaving. They didn't have much status in the Pack and that made them afraid to cross Malcolm. I get that. But I would have protected them. Joey wasn't a kid. He didn't need to follow his father. He could have said it wasn't right, abandoning Jeremy after all he'd done for them."
"But he didn't. They ran."
Clay went silent, loyalty to old Pack mates warring against a deeper feeling of betrayal.
"Yeah, they ran," he said.
"And you couldn't forgive that."
"No. I couldn't." He looked at me. "It was their duty--their obligation--to stand by us. They ran, and things got worse. Their support may not have counted for much, but it would have tipped the balance. Jeremy would have won the Alpha race without bloodshed. He could have used their help and I would have protected them."
And that is what it came down to. In leaving, they'd abandoned Jeremy and hadn't trusted Clay. I used to think that Clay was incapable of seeing other points of view. He can see them though--he just can't feel them. Dennis and Joey hadn't fulfilled their duty to the Pack and that felt wrong, so it was wrong.
"If they came back after Jeremy ascended, I would have been pissed, and it wouldn't have been the same between Joey and me. But I would have gotten over it."
"Why didn't they return?"
"Jeremy said they were still worried about Malcolm, that he'd come back and take revenge against those who didn't support him. That's bullshit. Malcolm was a vicious, manipulative son of a bitch, but more than anything, he was a fighter. A fighter doesn't crawl back after a defeat, even for revenge. Once he's beaten, he moves on and picks a new battle. Later, when we heard Malcolm was dead, Jeremy told them. By then, though, they'd made a life for themselves here in Alaska."
"But now you're looking forward to seeing Joey. Having an excuse to get back in touch."
"It's been a lot of years, and whatever I felt then is gone. You'll like Joey. Lucas reminds me a bit of him, but Joey isn't as... He never had much confidence, much..." He trailed off again. I suspected the word he wanted was backbone, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. "He was a decent guy. Quiet, thoughtful. A good friend."
"And a nice change from Nick now and then?"
A short laugh. "Yeah."
I drove another mile, then Clay said, "Speaking of Alpha ascensions ..."
My hands tightened on the steering wheel. "You know."
"Yeah, Jeremy said he finally told you." His voice went uncharacteristically soft. "You didn't need to wait for me to get home to discuss this."
"It wasn't something I wanted to discuss over the phone."