But he didn’t look like he minded, his dark eyes glowing. “You no longer see me as this person?”
She shrugged, the effect lost under the voluminous folds of his robe on her.
“Iris?” he prompted.
She sighed and admitted, “I’m learning that neither of our perceptions of the past was all that clear.”
“You are right. I thought you were far more experienced—”
Her snort of disbelief interrupted him.
“What?”
“How could you not realize how inexperienced I was back then? I was terrified you would get bored with my lack of prowess and go looking for greener pastures.”
“The passion between us was always so fiery—there was no room for practiced moves. I assumed you were as overwhelmed by desire as I was.”
“I was.”
“Yes, but with less experience.”
“Bragging now, are you?”
“Never. I have no need to brag. You think I am the most amazing lover ever.”
“Conceited.”
“Deny it.”
“You know I won’t.”
“Can’t,” he charged with one raised eyebrow.
She huffed fondly, “Jerk.”
“Is that the proper endearment to use for the man who rocks your world?”
“And what of the woman who rocks yours?” she asked facetiously.
“You will not allow me the proper endearment,” he accused.
“Poor you.”
He shook his head. “You are still determined I should not call you aziz?”
“Very.” That was one thing she was still absolutely sure about. Though her other beliefs and feelings were in something of a muddle, she knew she didn’t want him using the term for beloved when she wasn’t.
“One day you will allow it.”
“I won’t be in Kadar long enough for that to happen.” Considering the area Sheikh Hakim had hired her company to survey, Iris would be in Kadar only a month, six weeks at the outside.
It could have been a much more involved study, but Sheikh Hakim had ordered only a first-level survey. Most likely because he would use it to determine which areas to pursue further.
Nevertheless, Asad, did not look like he believed Iris’s claim. “Come with me to the baths and I will see what I can do about changing your mind.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
FOR the next two weeks, the days followed the pattern set on that one.
Asad and Nawar accompanied Iris and Russell to their survey sites. Against all expectations, Iris had never enjoyed her job more and found it surprisingly easy to accomplish what she needed to, despite their presence. And that of the unseen guards who joined them every day.
Both she and Russell couldn’t help taking time to show the curious little girl how they used their portable geological equipment. And somehow there was always time for play, as well.
Iris found herself falling for the child every bit as heavily as she’d fallen for the father. Her wish that she had been Nawar’s mother grew daily, but she kept it hidden. It was dangerous, but Iris allowed herself to wallow in what it would feel like to be a real family.
She thought sometimes that Nawar was doing the same thing, and that both delighted and frightened her. She didn’t want Asad’s daughter hurt when Iris had to leave.
Iris was currently showing Nawar how to identify a rock, Asad having asked her to watch Nawar while he took a call on his satellite phone. “The first thing we look at is color. What color would you say this is?”
“Brown.” Nawar squinted at the rock, as if determining the correctness of her answer.
Iris hid her grin and nodded as solemnly as she could. “Very good. Now feel the rock—is it smooth or rough?”
“It’s bumpy.”
This time Iris let herself smile. “Right. We can do a test on the rock to see what kind of minerals are in it to get a proper identification.”
“What’s a min-rall?”
Russell laughed, showing he had been listening.
Iris smiled a little sheepishly. “Minerals are things like iron and zinc.”
“Like my vitamins?” Nawar asked, proving she was a very intelligent child.
“Yes, exactly like that. Who told you your vitamins had iron and zinc in them?”
“Papa said I need my iron to grow strong.”
Iris remembered Asad saying that Nawar didn’t care for meat and ate a practically vegetarian diet. Considering the other foods that comprised the Bedouin diet, she thought she understood why he would want his daughter to take a minimal iron supplement in her children’s vitamin.
“He’s right, of course.”
“Oh. I want zinc in my vitamins.”
Iris had no idea if children’s vitamins had zinc in them. She would have to do some research before making any promises. “I’ll talk to your daddy about it. If you need zinc, I’m sure he’ll make sure you get it.”
“A mommy would make sure, wouldn’t she?”
“I…um…I suppose so.”
“Papa said I’m going to have a new mommy soon.”
“He did?” Iris asked faintly, a band squeezing tightly around her chest, making it hard to breathe.
Nawar nodded solemnly. “He said it was time.”
“That’s good.” The words cost her, but not nearly as much as the even tone Iris used to say them.
“I’m ever so excited.” And Nawar looked it, her eyes so like her father’s—even if they didn’t share the genes to make it so—glowing brightly with happiness at the thought. “He said I would like her very much.”
“I’m glad.”
“Me, too. Grandmother says Papa is lonely. My mommy will be his wife.”
Oh, gosh, she was going to be sick. “Yes, I do believe that’s how it works.”
“Do you think she’ll be a princess like my other mother?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t care. She doesn’t have to be a princess.” Nawar gave Iris a look she had no hope of understanding.
Not in her current state. It was taking everything she had to remain pleasant and smiling with the little girl so blithely shredding hopes she’d been so sure she hadn’t let herself entertain once again.
Badra wasn’t the idiot; Iris was.
“I’m sure whoever she is, she’ll be a very good mommy,” Iris said softly.
“Yes. She’ll like me and want to spend time with me.” Nawar was back to looking too serious for her years. “Papa promised.”
“He loves you very much.”
“I love him. He’s the bestest.”
“He is a wonderful man.” Even if he was making plans to marry someone else while sharing his bed with Iris. Again.
Iris wanted to curse her own stupidity and Asad’s plans in equal measure, but she bit back words not appropriate for little ears.
Russell’s expression of concern was not helping. She frowned at him and shook her head, her eyes warning him not to say anything.
Asad hadn’t made any promises and she’d gone into this thing with him knowing it had a sell-by date of weeks, not even months. So it was no one’s fault but her own that hearing of his plans to marry someone else was ripping her apart inside.
It wasn’t supposed to be this way this time. Somehow she had to get a handle on her emotions, but Iris couldn’t help her quiet over lunch.
She ignored the looks of question Asad kept sliding in her direction. Doing her best to bring her emotions into line, she determinedly focused on eating and not throwing up.
After they’d packed away the lunch things, Asad put Nawar down for a nap and then asked Iris to take a walk with him.
But she shook her head. She wasn’t ready to be alone with him, not yet. “I need to work and so do you.”
“Nevertheless, we will go for a walk.” The set of his jaw said while he’d phrased the initial offer as a request, they would indeed be going, one way or another.
With pictures of
herself dangling over his shoulder as he marched along the path, she reluctantly nodded.
Refusing would only delay the inevitable anyway. Iris couldn’t hide her upset at Nawar’s news and Asad wasn’t about to ignore it.
He offered his hand, but she pretended not to see it.
“We’re back to that, are we?” he asked as he led her on a narrow path she had noticed earlier doing some measurements.
Iris wanted to deny it, or simply ignore it, or anything but deal with it, but that wasn’t going to happen.