Chapter Seven
"You were not supposed to leave the house. "
"No one said anything about not leaving the house," Lisa said calmly, starting up the stairs with Bet on her heels. They had stopped to collect the maid on the way back to Christiana and Richard's home, as well as to wish the other men good day, and then Lord Findlay had returned her and Bet to the townhouse with Robert at their back every minute of the journey like some disapproving parent.
"You are being deliberately obtuse, Lisa," Robert said grimly, following them up the stairs. "I am here to watch over you. How can I do that if you are not even in the house?"
"Well, if you had been there watching me then I wouldn't have gone without you, would I?" she asked mildly. "Besides, I was perfectly safe. "
"I was meeting with a Bow Street runner to arrange for the capture of Mrs. Morgan," he hissed, moving up beside her to avoid the possibility of one of the servants hearing. "It was necessary. And I was just up the bloody hall. As for being safe, you don't know that. Findlay could have been planning to run off with you at any moment. "
"I don't think running off with me was the plan," Lisa said calmly as she reached the landing and started up the hall. "No. He was too busy kissing you," he muttered.
"Trying to kiss me," Lisa corrected mildly. "However, you do keep interrupting his attempts. I wish you would stop that, Robert. "
"You wish . . . You want him to kiss you?" he asked with outrage.
Lisa stopped at her bedroom door and turned to face him as Bet opened it and entered. "Of course I want him to kiss me. Why wouldn't I? He's handsome, eligible and I've never been kissed. I should like to see what it's like. After all, I wouldn't want to marry him do I not enjoy his kisses. "
"Marry him!" he squawked with amazement.
"Well, that is what I am in town for, Robert. To find a husband, and Lord Findlay is the handsomest of the options so far. So, I should like him to kiss me so I can see if I like it, or if I should turn my attentions to one of the other men instead, one whose kisses I might like better. "
"Are you telling me you intend to just let him kiss you? Then if you don't like it, allow someone else to kiss you, and then someone else?" he asked with slow disbelief.
Lisa nodded. "That seems the most sensible plan to me. If I find them physically attractive, then I talk with them to see if I like their personality, and if so, well then I should see if I like their kisses. " "What?" he asked with horror.
She rolled her eyes with exasperation at his expression. "There is more to marriage than sitting across the table every morning talking," she pointed out. "It does seem to me I should see if the man I plan to marry can stir some passion in me. I should like a marriage as wonderful and heated as Christiana and Suzette were lucky enough to find. "
"Dear God," Robert muttered and then shook his head. "Lisa, you cannot simply run about allowing every man in London to kiss you until you find the one who - "
"Why not?" she interrupted. "It is just a kiss, but according to Sophie, a kiss can tell you a lot about what kind of lover a man is. Surely I'm not expected to go into marriage just hoping I will enjoy my marriage bed?"
Robert's mouth moved briefly with nothing coming out and then he asked with irritation, "Who the devil is Sophie?"
"She is a . . . er . . . Bird-of-Paradise," she whispered, glancing up the hall to be sure there were no servants about to hear.
"A Bird-of-Paradise?" Robert bellowed. "For God's sake, Lisa. You are friends with a brothel owner and a Bird-of- Paradise?"
She scowled at him for shouting, but said, "Of course not, Robert. I read Sophie's memoirs. And I didn't know Mrs. Morgan was a brothel owner. "
"The memoirs of a Bird-of-Paradise," he muttered, running his hand wearily through his hair. "Dear God, you read the most horrid . . . Does your father know about these books of yours?"
Lisa rolled her eyes and turned toward her door, only to be swung back by Robert's hand on her arm.
"Lisa Madison, I forbid you to allow anyone to kiss you," he said firmly. "It is - "
"My choice," she interrupted firmly, and then said more gently, "Really Robert, while I love you like a big brother, you aren't one, and have no right to forbid me anything. " Tugging her arm free, she shook her head and turned to enter her room, adding, "I fully intend to kiss whomever I wish. I don't know why you care anyway. It is not like you're jealous. "
The door closed behind Lisa, leaving Robert standing there staring at it blankly with her words echoing in his head. She loved him like a big brother? When had that happened? She used to adore him. Good Lord, had a couple of days of having men like Findlay, Pembroke and Tibald fawning over her made that much difference? Impossible.
Or was it? he wondered. Other than servants, he had been the only male around while the Madison sisters were growing up. Perhaps it shouldn't be surprising that she would have a crush on him. But now she was surrounded by men. They were flocking to her like bees to honey. It seemed that was enough to cool the longstanding ardor she'd had for him and turn her adoration to filial affection.
He should be relieved, Robert supposed. But, oddly enough, he wasn't. He felt . . . betrayed. Abandoned. And even . . . Dear God, he was jealous. The very idea of her kissing any man, let alone several, had him wanting to gnash his teeth. The problem was, he didn't know if he was jealous because he was just used to her being in love with him, or because he actually wanted her for himself.
Robert really had thought of Lisa as something of a little sister for years, finding her adoration of him amusing and annoying by turn. But finding her in that brothel, dressed in that damned seethrough gown . . . the one she planned to wear on her wedding night to another man.
It wasn't just that though. Lisa was changing and quickly. The attentions of all these men were building her confidence. She laughed more gaily, a full, infectious laugh rather than the shy twitter he was used to hearing. She walked taller, her chin up, and her eyes positively twinkled with life and enjoyment. She was blossoming like a rose in bloom. And it made a pretty, quiet girl into an irresistibly beautiful and charming woman. The kind of woman a man could fall in love with and that many men would want and pursue.
"Damn," Robert muttered and turned wearily from the door. He had no idea what to do with these realizations. He had no desire to be having these feelings for Lisa. And he definitely had no desire to marry and suffer the humiliation and heartache of an adulterous wife. The hell of it was that prior to this trip he would have been hardpressed to believe that Lisa even could be unfaithful. But now, with her wanting to kiss every man in London . . . well, it did seem more likely. And adulterous wives were something of a curse in his family. So much so that, despite her behavior, it probably wouldn't even be her fault in the end.
It just seemed better all the way around for Robert to ignore his changing feelings and keep the girl at arm's length. He would sort out this business of the suitor, but then he would get the hell away from her and let her live her life. It was her best chance of happiness and his best chance of avoiding getting hurt.
"Okay. So what is going on between you and Robert?"
Lisa glanced to Suzette with surprise. "Whatever do you mean? Nothing is going on. "
"Right," Suzette said dryly. "He has been standing in that exact same spot across the ballroom, his eyes locked on you all night. " "And you have studiously avoided looking at him all night as well," Christiana added with amusement.
"I have no reason to look at him. As for his watching me . . . I cannot control what he does," Lisa said with a shrug, but wished she could. Robert's eyes had been following her since they'd arrived, and she hadn't glanced in his direction because she didn't have to. She could feel his eyes burning holes into her. She wished he'd stop that.
Lisa supposed she wouldn't mind if his look was admiring or something, but it wasn't. Robert had taken an emotional step back. She could feel it. He was watching her
with a purely professional disinterest, as if he were a hired bodyguard. She didn't know what had done it, but something had made him erect a wall between them.
There was nothing she could do about that of course, so Lisa just accepted it and smiled and danced with the men on her card, vetting out those who she liked and those she didn't. She was not going to sit around waiting on any man, not even Robert.
"Miss Madison. "
Lisa glanced to the man before her and smiled cheerfully. "Lord Pembroke. Is it your dance now?"
"I believe so," he murmured with a smile she suspected would have made the hearts of most girls flutter. Lisa's heart didn't twitch, but he was a nice man and she did appreciate how attractive he was and allowed her smile to widen as she placed her hand on his arm to let him lead her onto the dance floor.
"I hope you do not think less of me for losing the race this afternoon," Pembroke murmured as he took her in his arms.
Lisa glanced up with surprise and shook her head at once. "Of course not, my lord. It was just a bit of fun. In fact, I thought you had let Findlay win so that I could enjoy it more," she added lightly, not surprised to see him puff up a bit.
"Well, you did seem to be enjoying it," he said with a smile, suggesting that might be the case when she was quite sure it wasn't. She didn't mind though. He was now standing tall and smiling again where he hadn't been moments ago.
"Oh, I did enjoy it," she assured him with a laugh. "It was quite exhilarating. "
"Then I am happy to have lost and given you such joy," he assured her.
Lisa chuckled. "I appreciate it, my lord. It's very kind of you. "
"What else do you like to do, Miss Madison?" he asked, spinning her around the floor. "Perhaps we can endeavor to do it tomorrow afternoon. 'We' being myself and all your other admirers," he added with a teasing grin.
Lisa chuckled with appreciation at his teasing and then considered the question, "I enjoy riding, or did in the country, and long walks. And there is a river by our country home where I enjoy paddling a boat. " She paused and shrugged. "I do not know, my lord. "
"What of plays and such?" he asked.