More silence. Then, “Talia, you’re worrying me. Why are you coming back so soon? Has something happened?”
I sucked in a breath, and explained, “Kisa. I need to talk to someone. I’m going insane. And I’d really like a long fucking drink of vodka to accompany that chat. So? Can you meet me?”
“I’m at the Dungeon, Tal. I’ll be here awhile more.”
My heart fell, but I exhaled a relieved sigh when my best friend offered, “How about we meet at Brighton Beach for a walk? It’s close to the Dungeon, I can get away easier.”
I rolled my eyes at Kisa’s alternative plan, but couldn’t stop the laughter bubbling up my throat. “You never were one for the bars, were you, dorogaya moya? Always been the good girl,” I teased.
Kisa laughed in return, clearly easing her worry for me. “And you’ve always had to be the rebel, haven’t you, Tal?”
My laugh turned into a guilty cough. Kisa was right. I’d never walked the “good old Bratva” woman’s line. My father had given up trying to keep me in check. I was his little girl and could wrap him around my little finger. But this, what I was doing with 221? I knew he’d never forgive that.
“Tal? Do you want to meet at the beach?” Kisa asked, breaking my inner self-chastisement.
“Yeah, we can meet at the friggin’ beach,” I agreed, “but, Kisa?”
“What?”
“Make sure you pick up a bottle of Grey Goose and bring it with you, okay?”
“Tal—”
“Don’t worry, Sandra Dee,” I interrupted. “I’m not going to make you drink. That liter of Russian perfection is all mine.”
Kisa’s light laugh filtered through the car, instantly making me feel better. “Tal?” Kisa said as her humor faded to silence. “Drive safe. I’m worried about you, girl. You don’t sound right.”
With a steady voice, I assured, “Don’t worry about me, Kisa. I’m good, as always. Nothing ever fazes me for long. Whatever this is, I’ll get over it.”
My unyielding grip on the steering wheel told an entirely different story.
* * *
By the time I hit Brighton Beach night had fallen, bringing a blanket of darkness. As I drove slowly through my hometown, past the gloomy abandoned streets, past the boarded up stores and bankrupt restaurants, the rundown shell of houses and the homeless people huddled on the floor, I shook my head.
It was like another world out here. If you were a part of the Bratva, if you were Russian, Brighton Beach was a haven. No cops interfering with business, hoards of loyal people from the motherland, sharing culture and wealth. But if you were any other nationality, you were forgotten, a piece of nothing to the Mafia that controlled the dingy streets.
Because in the world we—that I—lived in, the Mafia, the soviet brotherhood, was paramount. No one fucked with us. No one threatened our slice of East Coast Americana. Brighton Beach may look like some rundown hell to most, but to the Volkov Bratva, this was the land we ruled. My father and Kirill Volkov were the kings of this fucked-up kingdom.
Seeing the beach on my left, I pulled my car to a stop at the abandoned dark section Kisa and I had come to as kids, and cracked open the door. The icy wind whipped around my hair awarding me the jolt of reality I’d been searching for.
Locking the car door, and leaving my now powered-off cell in the passenger seat, I walked onto the freezing sand in my Gucci boots and, almost meeting the tide, slumped down to the ground.
I stared out at the vast sea of darkness, breathing in the salty air and tried not to think of what Savin and Ilya would be doing right now, finding me gone. And I was really trying not to think of the broken man I’d left on the cold basement floor.
Hearing a cough behind me, I turned my head to see Kisa heading my way, wrapped up in a thick parka and clutching a large bottle in her hands.
I smiled as she approached, her arms hugging her waist, her long brown hair whipping around her face. When her eyes met mine, she shook her head. “Talia Tolstaia, I love your crazy ass to pieces, but it’s freakin’ freezing out here!”
Pushing myself off the ground, I walked to my best friend and wrapped my arms around her. “You’re the one that wouldn’t meet me at a bar, so technically, it’s your fault we’re freezing our asses off right now.”
Smiling wide, Kisa linked her arm through mine and she guided me to a cluster of rocks, hunkering us down behind their shelter to escape the severe bite of the wind.
Without breaking her hold on my arm, she passed me the sealed bottle of Grey Goose and watched with amusement as I cracked it open and took a long heavy swig. My chest burned as the alcohol ran down my throat, and all the air fled my lungs at the vodka’s strong taste.
After a few more long sips, I immediately felt more relaxed. Screwing the cap back on, I tipped my head back to the full starry sky and sighed. “That feels better,” I said quietly. And it did. Away from the presence of 221 I could breathe, I could think more rationally.
Kisa’s arm tightened in mine. Her beautiful face turned my way, and she asked, “What’s going on, Tal?”
My eyes were fixed on the crashing of the waves, when 221’s beautifully stern face entered my head. I dropped my gaze, frustrated with myself when my stomach flipped and filled with butterflies.
“Tal? You’re scaring me now. What’s wrong?”
“I just needed to get away.”
Kisa was too quiet in reply. I met her gaze to find her frowning. “But you went to the Hamptons to get away from everything here. To disconnect from Brooklyn for a while. Now you need to get away from the Hamptons, too? I don’t understand.”
“I know,” I replied quietly, “I’m ridiculous.”
Kisa’s gloved hand found mine and squeezed my fingers. “You’re not ridiculous. But what’s happened to make you need to leave?”
My free hand sunk into the cold sand beside me and I filtered the grains though my fingers like a sieve. I wanted to tell someone.
“Talia, please. You’ve never hidden anything from me before. I know you. I can tell something is on your mind.” Kisa’s blue eyes searched mine, then she added, “Just because I’m married to Luka doesn’t take away my loyalty to you.”
I threw Kisa a watery, grateful smile. Kisa nudged her head in my direction urging me to divulge. Unscrewing the Grey Goose, I drank another few sips, and whispered, “It’s 221. I needed to get away from 221.”
Kisa tensed and sorry spread over her face. “Shit, Talia. I didn’t even think.”
I nodded my head then took another drink. I gripped the neck of the bottle and the laugh that tore through me was humorless. “He’s haunting me, Kisa. I can’t believe Luka brought him to the country house where I was staying. I just never expected to feel this strongly toward him. He’s all I can think about. He’s all I can concentrate on.” My hand subconsciously lifted to run over the “Tolstoi” engraving on my favorite gold necklace.
My heart raced as Kisa said nothing. Finally, I turned to my best friend to see her watching me sympathetically. “I never even thought how hard it would be for you having him there.” My eyebrows pulled down and Kisa squeezed my hand. “Of course you don’t want him there. After all the family history, of course you don’t.”