I looked up at her sorrowful face and swallowed hard.
“Even what?” I enquired nervously.
Phebe held me tighter. “That the devil is within you. That the devil controls you… that you are his pawn, tempting men to sin against the Lord and their flesh.”
My head shook back and forth. “No, no, no… Phebe!”
Phebe’s hands gripped my damp cheeks. “You must be strong and obedient, sister. Any trial or test they put in your path, you must pass it. You must strive to be good. If evil is in your flesh, you must fight it. If men fall at your feet, do not succumb to their charms.” Phebe’s hands tightened around my face, her eyes focused on my eyes. “They will be taking you away. I overheard Father talking with Brother Luke a few hours ago. A very important man is coming to pick you up first thing in the morning. He is taking you from the family to test your faith. He is one of Prophet David’s closest confidents.”
“No!” I cried and seized Phebe’s wrists.
Phebe pressed a kiss to my head. “Do not panic. This is a test from the Lord. No matter how long it takes, or what they put you through, you must triumph. The Lord will defeat the devil within you if you prove your devotion. You will be saved. The Lord will save your soul.”
“I do not want to go. I do not want to leave you… I am very afraid,” I hushed out in a broken voice. Fear had me in its grip and I felt I could not breathe.
“You will make it through. Your faith in the Lord can overcome evil.”
“I will miss you, Phebe.”
Phebe began to cry. “We will meet again, sister. Stay strong, and if you stray from the righteous path, think of me and you will find your way back home.” Phebe pushed me back slightly, her face stern. “Make me this promise now. No matter what happens, you will find your way back to The Order, to our prophet, to your home.”
“I promise,” I swore in a shaky voice.
Phebe and I lay down and fell asleep.
When dawn broke, a large bearded man dressed all in black, walked into my room and ripped me from my sister’s arms without a word. I did not put up a fight, nor did I protest.
Not one member of my family was there to say good-bye to me.
I understood; I was being shunned.
The scary man gripped my arms, placed a piece of material over my eyes, shutting out the world, and after a sharp sting in my arm, everything tilted to the side and I fell back into darkness.
*****
“Wake up!”
I gradually came to, prompted by someone nudging my arm. My hazy vision cleared slowly. A hand gripped my arm and pulled me upright. Nausea rolled around my stomach as I struggled to clear my head.
“Come. I am taking you to your new quarters.” Lifting my eyes, my blurry gaze fell upon the bearded man dressed all in black. On further observation, I realized he was not too old, but his dark eyes were harsh. He looked down on me as if I were evil incarnate.
He had taken me somewhere… I cast a glance around the room and my heart began beating furiously when I recognized nothing was familiar. The room was all white. The air seemed hot and thick. I felt I could not breathe. And the heat, Lord, the heat was stifling and my long dress was too hot to bear.
“Wh-where am I, sir? Where is my family?” I asked nervously, trying to calm down.
The man ran a finger down my cheek and smirked. “You are at the prophet’s commune. You are under the close inspection of the Lord’s messenger now, Satan’s whore. The devil shall not triumph in you. I will make sure of it.”
All I could do was gulp in trepidation.
“Come.”
He pulled me up from the small, hard bed and dragged me across the room, out into a huge settlement, a large village surrounded by long thick trees and acres of green pasture. People were milling about, focused on their chores, but they all stopped to stare at me as I passed. The women were dressed modestly like me and the men wore their familiar white tunics.
As I passed, some of the people recited scripture, asking the Lord to save my soul. Others spat on the ground at my bare feet, wishing me to burn in hell.
“Heathen! Whore! Temptress!” many shouted.
I cowered my head and hot tears burned my eyes.
The man I was following ignored them all, continuing to lead me across a vast field in the direction of a small cluster of houses. Pulling me harder, I tripped over a stone, whimpering as my foot throbbed in pain. There was no mercy from the man.
“I said come!” the man snapped, and I cried, letting tears fall for my father, my mothers, my sisters, my Phebe and… my evil soul.
But I confess I did not feel evil. Did not feel Satan living within me. But he had to be. The way I was being treated by everyone.
The Lord… the Lord has smite me. Forsaken me as his daughter.
Entering a narrow hallway, the man nodded at three men lounging around a table. They too were dressed in black with big heavy boots. They were all bigger and scarier than the men outside, seeming different somehow. When they saw me, their eyes lit up with interest. They immediately frightened me, so I kept my head down, showing my obedience.
I needed to prove to them that it had all been a mistake. That I was a good girl and embraced God’s love. I was not a daughter of Satan. I had to pass their tests like Phebe had said…
Like Jesus in the desert.
When we came to a large wooden door, the man thrust it open and dragged me inside. Three dark-haired girls immediately stood up from small cots and dropped to the ground, hands out in front of them and their foreheads to the cold stone. “Greetings, Brother Noah,” they said in unison.