I felt suddenly awkward, keenly aware of the people surrounding us, of their inquisitive stares. I had probably breached some kind of protocol by even coming to say goodbye.
“Well,” I said, patting his horse’s flank, “have fun. Try not to shoot anyone. ”
“Got it. Wait, don’t shoot anyone?”
I smiled, but it felt a bit forced.
We stood there a moment longer, the silence stretching out between us. I wanted to fling my arms around him, bury my face in his neck, and make him promise to be safe. But I didn’t.
A rueful smile touched his lips. He bowed.
“Moi soverenyi,” he said. My heart twisted in my chest.
He climbed into the saddle and kicked his horse forward, disappearing in the sea of riders flowing toward the golden gates.
I made the walk back to the Little Palace in low spirits.
It was early, but the day was already growing warm. Tamar was waiting for me when I emerged from the wooded tunnel.
“He’ll be back soon enough,” she said. “No need to look so glum. ”
“I know,” I replied, feeling foolish. I managed a laugh as we crossed the lawn down to the stables. “At Keramzin, I had a doll I made out of an old sock that I used to talk to whenever he was away hunting. Maybe that would make me feel better. ”
“You were an odd little girl. ”
“You have no id
ea. What did you and Tolya play with?”
“The skulls of our enemies. ”
I saw the glint in her eye, and we both burst out laughing.
Down at the training rooms, Tamar and I met briefly with Botkin, the instructor tasked with preparing Grisha for physical combat. The old mercenary was instantly enchanted with Tamar, and they yammered away at each other in Shu for nearly ten minutes before I managed to raise the issue of training the Fabrikators.
“Botkin can teach anyone to fight,” he said in his thick accent. The dim light gave the ropy scar at his throat a pearly sheen. “Taught little girl to fight, no?”
“Yes,” I agreed, wincing at the memory of Botkin’s grueling drills and the beatings I’d taken at his hands.
“But little girl is not so little anymore,” he said taking in the gold of my kefta. “You come back to train with Botkin. I hit big girl same as little girl. ”
“That’s very egalitarian of you,” I said, and hurried Tamar out of the stables before Botkin decided to show me just how fair-minded he could be.
I went straight from the stables to another war council meeting, then I just had time to tidy my hair and brush off my kefta before heading back to the Grand Palace to join Nikolai as the King’s advisers briefed him on Os Alta’s defenses.
I felt a bit like we were children who had intruded on the adults. The advisers made it clear that they felt we were wasting their time. But Nikolai seemed unfazed. He asked careful questions about armaments, the number of troops stationed around the city walls, the warning system that was in place in case of attack. Soon the advisers had lost their condescending air and were conversing with him in earnest, asking about the weaponry he’d brought with him from across the Fold and how it might be best deployed.
He had me give a short description of the nichevo’ya to help make the case for arming the Grisha with new weapons as well. The advisers were still deeply suspicious of the Second Army, but on the walk back to the Little Palace, Nikolai seemed unconcerned.
“They’ll come around in time,” he said. “That’s why you need to be there, to reassure them and to help them understand that the Darkling isn’t like other enemies. ”
“You think they don’t know that?” I asked incredulously.
“They don’t want to know it. If they can maintain the belief that the Darkling can be bargained with or brought to heel, then they don’t have to face the reality of the situation. ”
“I can’t say I blame them,” I said gloomily. It was all well and good to talk about troops and walls and warnings, but I doubted it would make much difference against the Darkling’s shadow soldiers.
When we emerged from the tunnel, Nikolai said, “Walk with me down to the lake?”
I hesitated.
“I promise not to drop to one knee and start composing ballads to your beauty. I just want to show you something. ”
My cheeks went red, and Nikolai grinned.
“You should see if the Corporalki can do something about that blush,” he said, and strolled off around the side of the Little Palace to the lake.