“You stare at all the pretty men,” Reno interjected, leaning back in his chair to gesture to himself. “That’s why I always catch you looking at me.”
Tinsley rolled her pretty brown eyes. “This guy isn’t just pretty, he’s, like, magnetic or something. The only woman in here who hasn’t hit on him yet is Loulou and you know how she is.”
“Yeah, stuck up,” Reno muttered, but the sides of his slim mouth crooked up so I would know he was joking.
I shrugged. “I’ve got high standards.”
“You’ve got that Reece Ross,” Tinsley said, her face taking on a dreamy quality as I handed her the drinks for her last table. “Anyone with the good luck of landing that kid wouldn’t look elsewhere.”
I didn’t fully agree with her but I couldn’t argue that Reece was an awesome guy. Ever since the night he’d corrupted me, his words not mine, we’d been pretty much inseparable. We partied, both with drugs at friends’ houses and with tea at church luncheons. He occupied both of my worlds and took pride in the fact that he’d introduced me to the dark side of Entrance. He liked Louise and Loulou but I had the feeling he thought I was having a gag, that Loulou was this fun alter-ego pastime I had going so that I could forget about the problems that faced Louise.
He was right and he was wrong.
He was right because Loulou had cancer but it didn’t define her so, it wasn’t a problem for her.
He was wrong because in every way that mattered, Loulou was the woman I wanted to be. She was the dark heart of me brought to life, unbound from the scripture and familial guilt of my youth. It was the section of my soul that found violence a necessary tool of retribution. That felt passion like a thunderclap and hatred like a burning thing in my gut that needed to be acted upon. Loulou was base, instinct and brimstone. She had so many flaws so beautifully accepted, that they became honed weapons and gleaming treasures.
She was unashamed and free.
If anything was a phase, it was Louise. And she was fading fast to give way for Lou.
Zeus’s Lou.
The girl who had recognized Zeus Garro as a kindred soul from across the church parking lot and run toward him as bullets flew all around.
I couldn’t have him. I knew that and felt it like the echo of the bullet wound in my chest.
But I could be the woman he’d created, the one he gave me the confidence to be.
So I liked Reece. I liked kissing him because kissing was fun, and I liked talking to him because he had things to say unlike most of the friends I’d had all my life. But I didn’t love him, and I never would.
“Look at her gone all gaga over the boy,” Reno cackled as he slammed down his warm mug of beer. “He’s a lucky feller, I’m sayin’ it right now.”
“Damn but if I was ten years younger,” Harlow said with a sigh.
Tinsley giggled. “More like forty.”
Reno laughed too but I reached over to pat Harlow’s hand and give him a little wink. “Ten’s more like it, Harlow baby. I like my men older.”
The old man’s creased face creased even more with warmth. “You’re a good girl, Loulou. Too good for the likes of Zeus Garro anyways.”
I froze.
“What?” I whispered, my lips barely moving because for some reason, I was afraid to move.
“Zeus Garro, Prez of The Fallen MC and a meaner motherfucker there never was,” Harlow explained.
“I know who he is. Why did you bring him up?”
He frowned, his eyes skittering over to Reno and Tinsley who both watched me with concerned confusion.
“Babe,” Tinsley was the one to say, stepping backward to open up my line of sight to the man who had been sitting in the booth all night watching me. “Zeus Garro’s the man who just bought The Lotus from Debra.”
My eyes burned with the need to look over, tears building from the tension of holding back the impulse.
“Tinsley, don’t fuck with me,” I whispered and somehow there were tears in my throat too.
“Honey, I’m not. Look,” she urged gently, no doubt wondering if I was a crazy person.
I didn’t care.
I didn’t care about anything in the world in that moment except for the fact that Zeus Garro was in my space.
Did he know I was there?
Yes, of course he did. He’d been watching me all night.
What the fuck was he doing here?
A muscle below my left eye ticked.
I had to look.
My heart beat thrummed like thunder in my ears and sharp thrills of anxiety and excitement zipped across my skin like fingers of lightning as I swiveled my head to look over at the booth, to take in the man I’d been in love with for what seemed like forever.