“Only a few dozen times in the last four months.”
We grinned at each other, our smiles so broad that they folded the skin of our cheeks into hospital bed corners. Then we were laughing, laughing so hard that tears leaked from our eyes and ran down our cheeks. It was the first time I had cried happy tears in much too long and I clutched Sin tightly, almost painfully, even amidst our mirth because the only thing that terrified me in this life was the idea of losing that, losing him.
It was the weekend and Sinclair and I were in our new furnished apartment. Emma had worked absolute wonders and I couldn’t believe how beautifully everything had come together. Even Sin had looked pleasantly shocked when she had shown us around the apartment that morning. Everything was absolutely perfect but Sinclair confirmed it by kissing my breath away as soon as Emma left us alone.
“This is absolutely perfect,” he had said after breaking away from me. “The only thing we need to do is furnish the baby’s room.”
So, Sinclair had called Rossi and Eddie to pick up painting supplies while we laid out spare sheets in the future baby’s room. Sinclair wanted to paint a mural together for him or her.
He’d caught me when I had literally swooned at the idea.
“What do you want to paint?” I asked as I came back into the room after changing into an old, paint splattered pair of overalls and a pink crop top.
Sin stared at me for a second with heat in his eyes. “What?”
I grinned. “What do you want to paint for the baby?”
“I thought we would do a beach scene, like Cabo,” he explained unnecessarily as he came over to me and placed a firm hand on my abdomen. “Where it all started.”
“You are so poetic,” I said with an eye roll to mask the fact that I wanted to cry.
He smiled softly at me before placing a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Should we call over more friends to help us? We could turn it into an impromptu house warming party.”
“That sounds awesome,” I said but he caught the glimmer of despair in my eyes.
Neither Elena nor Mama would come.
We wouldn’t even bother to invite them.
I had tried to reach out to Mama a number of times since our conversation but she remained radio silent and I wasn’t surprised by it. Of course, my understanding didn’t soften the blow of hurt I felt each time her phone went to voicemail, each time something new and exciting happened in my life that I wasn’t able to share with her.
It was hell, but as far as consequences went, not having my mother and one of my sisters wasn’t the worst fate I could have been dealt.
Sinclair and the beauty he infused in my life every single day was a testament to that.
By the time the sun was setting on our Saturday, I had been further proven right.
Cosima had arrived on the arm of her husband, Alexander, both of whom had mostly kept to themselves because my sister was still recovering and Alexander wasn’t exactly a comfortable man to be around. She hadn’t divulged much about her relationship with him, only that she cared for him and that she would give us the full story when she was feeling stronger. Still, it felt marvelous to have her alive and well on my new couch in my new apartment while the rest of us, Rossi, Eddie, Candy, Richard, Emma, Duncan and Sebastian, all painted the nursery.
Sebastian had pulled me aside as soon as he’d arrived because we hadn’t had time to speak alone since Cosima’s accident.
“I suspected,” he began, straight to the point. “It was obvious that there was some serious chemistry between you the moment I saw the both of you in Mama’s kitchen the night you finally came home to us. From then on, it just became increasingly more difficult to ignore.”
He sighed, his gaze cutting over my shoulder to where I knew Sinclair was arguing with Rossi over the type of music that should be played for a baby in the womb. They had been bickering about it for the last half hour, Rossi for classical, Sinclair for jazz, but they didn’t seem to be running out of steam.
“He loves you,” he said with another dramatic sigh. “It’s always been so fucking obvious that I’m surprised either of you took so long to act on it. We both know that Elena and I aren’t particularly close and that you, bambina, have always been my girl, but I just have to say, what is happening here, as beautiful as it is for you two and as happy as I am about it, it’s a nightmare for Elena. I haven’t seen her much but I know she’s hurting. Unfortunately, you did that to her. I hope that you can understand when you see her in the future. She never had any reason to be mean to you before but now, well, I think you know she has reason.”