I cross my arms on my chest. “None of this is going to be simple. As a matter of fact, it’s going to probably be close to hell for you. But it’s still worth giving it your best shot for the chance that you possibly could walk again.”
“I won’t, though. Read it for yourself.” He points to his patient folder on the table next him. “Patient will most likely only be able to walk with assistance,” he says, making air quotes with his fingers.
I just shake my head. “I’ve seen this over and over. Some people would read that, and from that point, they are ready to settle with the fact they’ll never walk on their own again. And then some people would read that and come hell or high water would do anything to prove the doctors wrong. I thought you were that guy, Jason. I thought you were the man that would say to hell with the odds.”
He opens his mouth but closes it quickly. I can tell I’m pissing him off, but that’s okay. I want him mad. I want him to push himself, because I know if he works hard and pushes himself, he’s going to be just fine.
“I used to be that man,” he tells me in a half whisper and then looks away, no doubt hating the fact that he doesn’t want to seem vulnerable.
I reach over and put my hand on his shoulder. I ignore the way his muscles flex under my fingers. I ignore the heat in his eyes when they flash up to mine. “You can still be that man, Jason. He’s still in there.”
Jason
The way she says it, I get a funny feeling in my chest, and I take my hand and rub it across my heart. I used to be like that. I used to believe that anything was possible. What happened to me?
I almost laugh. A bomb hit our Humvee is what happened. We were all lucky to make it out alive. I know I should be thankful, but I’ve had trouble getting my head right. But just five minutes with Nurse Berry, and I already feel that my attitude is improving. I mean, what do I have to lose at this point? Obviously what Marven and I have been doing hasn’t been working.
I can’t look her in the eyes, but I’m not going to give her any more grief. “Let’s get started.”
She gives me some exercises to do to loosen up before we get to work.
The stretching she insists I do before the workout I resist, knowing already that I’m stiffer than I’ve ever been. The stretches are a little uncomfortable with the pull, but as I listen to her guidance and relax into each stretch, I can feel my muscles warming and elongating. It doesn’t hurt that she stands very close to help me with the stretches, smiling and encouraging me the whole way.
Mmm, she smells like a delicious cross between some sweet candy and something floral. I take a deep breath, and when she looks up at me, I know she’s caught me sniffing her. I can feel the heat on my face, but I keep working, doing what she’s asking me to do.
Once we finish stretches, we get into the workout. She does push me, but she’s true to her word and pushes me nearly to my brink but not past it. The best part is that she seems like she’s genuinely proud of me for how I pushed himself. I think about her a lot when I’m taken back to my room and wish I could spend more time with her, and I’m hoping that Marven takes another day off tomorrow.
3
Karly
It’s hard letting Marven take over Jason’s therapy again since he’s so lax about it. I can’t help signaling Jason to push harder when Marven isn’t looking, and when he leaves for his bathroom break, I go over to Jason and take over his therapy to help him push for more.
He’s sweating when he’s finished, but he’s smiling, and that sadness that I’ve seen in his eyes appears to have brightened and perhaps lightened. He’s got such a great smile.
“I’m happy you were here to push me. I was feeling sore and would’ve been lazy if you weren’t here,” Jason says.
“Me too. I’m happy for a change considering how many hours I’ve been working.”
“Yeah, I’ve noticed that you’re here almost every day. Do you not take any time off?”
A part of me is embarrassed that he noticed. I can just imagine what he’s heard all the other nurses say about me. I know a lot of them feel sorry for me because I’m pretty much on my own. Well, except for my cousin, but sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t be better off on my own. She’s gotten me into more trouble more times these last few years than I’m able to count.