An urgent need to look away took hold of every fiber in my body, but I soldiered through, training my eyes on him.
He loved you at your worst, knowing what you look like. Now it’s time to prove you love him as he is. Scars and all.
“How do I look?” He gestured toward himself with his casted hand, giving me a humorless wink.
“Alive,” my voice broke mid-word. “Which is more than I could ever wish for, everything considered. East told me on the phone you showed up trashed and didn’t even put up a fight. What the hell were you thinkin’?”
With every step I took into the room, my muscles had loosened. His friends had already brought him Coke, snacks, flowers, and an iPad. I hadn’t had time to buy anything to bring to him. I’d driven straight from the nursing home to the county hospital, which was even farther away from Austin than Sheridan. Heck, he didn’t even know Grandma Savvy was in Heartland Gardens. So much had happened in the short time we’d been apart.
“I was thinking I needed to protect you at any cost.” His jaw tightened. “Even if part of the price was getting my heart broken.”
I took a seat in front of his bed, my eyes never wavering from his face.
“I knew after Kade sent people to raid the food truck, that if word got out I had a girlfriend, you’d be a target,” West explained.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I choked, careful not to touch him. If I started, I’d never stop. I’d hold and kiss and drown myself in him, never coming up for air.
“Bringing the authorities into it was out of the question. My illegal fight scene would have come up, and everyone would have gotten screwed. They wouldn’t have just thrown my ass in jail, but Max, East, and Reign, too.” His eyes searched my face, looking for clues as to what I was thinking. “I decided I’d do whatever it took to keep you safe. At first, I tried to cancel the fight, like you’d asked. Told Max I was out at Reign’s party. Max called Shaun, but he had none of it. See, for Kade, it was a pride thing. So I figured I’d throw the fight, let the asshole get his moment in the sun, and get this nightmare over with.
“But I underestimated just how crazy Kade Appleton is. He nearly killed me before the fight. Had me attacked at the food truck and thrown off my bike on my way home from yours. It wasn’t about money anymore. I wanted to lose so he wouldn’t hurt those around me. Still, I couldn’t dump all this bullshit on you. You had Grams to take care of, a caregiver to find, and Professor McGraw’s threat hanging over your head. I never planned not to tell you, Tex. I just wanted to do it on my own terms.”
He took my hand in his. His skin felt wrong. Cold and dry, clay-like. His mortality crashed into me like a wrecking ball.
He could have died.
He almost had died.
“Well, suffice it to say, things didn’t work out the way you wanted them to.” I sniffed, brushing my thumb over his knuckles. “You humiliated me beyond belief, West. You took the promise you made me and crushed it into dust in front of everyone we know.”
He screwed his eyes shut, drawing a breath. The scars from that day were rawer for me than anything I’d worn on my face and arm. Because the person I loved the most made them.
“You said you were my girlfriend, and you were. Fuck, part of me is pathetic enough to hope you still are, and all I could see was Kade Appleton’s little rats running back to him and telling him about the pretty blonde that had my balls in a grip. I knew you’d be a target. I needed to throw him off your scent. To make sure he stayed far away from you. And the only way I could have done that was to make you straight up hate me that week and ensure you stayed the hell away.”
“Mission accomplished. But you still visited my house. Spied on me.”
He shrugged, a sad ghost of a smile passing through his face.
“I never pretended to possess admirable self-control where you’re involved, Texas Shaw. Hence why we’re in this mess. If only I could stay away from you.”
“You’d still be in this position. He wanted to ruin you because you were better. And you let him.”
Silence blanketed the room. Eventually, he turned his face toward me. “Baby”—he smiled triumphantly—“You’re not wearing any makeup.”
My mouth dropped. I put a hand to my injured side, feeling my eyes narrowing. Christ. My face was completely bare. I’d spent the entire day at the nursing home without a drop of makeup and hadn’t even noticed people’s reactions. No funny looks. No disgusted frowns. No children pointing and laughing at me. No hushed whispers or judgmental sneers.