He Started It

I saw her find the cookies in the freezer, and it felt like I could see what she was thinking just from the expression on her face. Surprised at first, then confused. She picked up the package and opened the cabinet where they were supposed to be. More surprise at the empty top shelf. Finally, her brow furrowed hard, causing so many wrinkles. Her mouth turned down, her lips pursed.

Worried. So worried. I could almost see her wonder if she had put the cookies in the freezer but didn’t remember doing it.

I ran upstairs to tell Nikki and we both laughed. It was so rare to fool Mom. Unheard of, actually.

Our game didn’t last long, though. Summer ended and we went back to school, and Nikki no longer wanted anything to do with me or Mom or anyone else at home. No, I didn’t know the word gaslighting. I didn’t know there was a name for what we were doing or for what Mom did to Eddie.

I do, however, know I’m about to do the same thing to my husband. And yes, it’s to punish him for lying.

Anyone who claims they never gaslight their spouse is lying.

I’m still looking for the pickup truck every chance I get, but there’s been no sign of it, not since we tried to confront them on the road. Eddie and Felix have no problem taking credit for getting rid of them, either.

Eddie first brings it up at dinner and the conversation continues at the watchtower. He and Felix continue to tell whoever will listen, including a group of younger guys who stopped by while on their own road trip. They’re half drunk and ready for a good story. Eddie and Felix are full-on drunk and ready to tell it.

‘Ever been to Alabama?’ Felix says. ‘Because that’s where these guys are from. Swear to God, they followed us all the way from there.’

‘What’d you do?’ one asks.

‘They ran us off the road. When we called them on it, they got pissed.’

Eddie nods his head, confirming this is correct. Portia rolls her eyes but doesn’t mention that their story isn’t correct. She confronted them.

‘That right?’ one of the guys says. He’s a big, athletic guy with a beard and he’s wearing a lacrosse shirt from Clemson.

‘That’s right,’ Eddie says.

‘Seems a little weird they would follow you for something like that.’

‘Right?’ Felix says. ‘That’s what I thought until I saw them.’

‘They put nails in our tire,’ Eddie says. He sounds like he’s bragging about it. ‘And they stole our starter.’

‘Starter relay,’ Felix says.

‘Exactly, the starter relay,’ Eddie says.

Clemson doesn’t look convinced. ‘Huh.’

His friends, who had been rather enthusiastic about this story, go quiet.

‘Cool story, bro,’ Clemson says. He turns away from us, his eyes scanning the rest of the platform.

For a second, I think Eddie is going to let this go. Then I remember who he is. Years ago, he was that Clemson kid, only his shirt said Duke.

‘Come on,’ I say. ‘Let’s find some aliens.’

‘You think I’m bullshitting you,’ Eddie says to Clemson.

‘No, actually. I think if you were bullshitting you would’ve come up with a better story.’

Ouch.

‘Cool, cool,’ Felix says. ‘Have a good night, guys.’ He leads Eddie to the other side of the platform.

The Clemson kid turns to me. ‘That guy your husband?’

‘Brother. The blond one is my husband.’

‘Your brother’s a bad liar.’

He is, no doubt about it. ‘And you’re an asshole,’ I say.

Clemson’s eyebrows shoot up. ‘Wow, okay. Who hurt you?’

‘Does it matter?’

Clemson turns to Portia. She is drinking a soda can of vodka and sprite and doesn’t look at him. He checks her out in a blatant way, and he takes a step toward her.

He starts to introduce himself. ‘My name –’

‘No,’ Portia says.

‘Can I at least –’

‘No.’

‘Would it help –’

‘No.’

‘Wow.’ Clemson shakes his head. Laughs. His friends do as well. ‘A whole family of assholes.’

‘Right?’ another guy says.

‘I’m starting to believe the story about those guys following you. Must have done something to deserve it.’ He walks off, his friends follow.

Eddie. He really is an asshole, especially when he’s drunk. All of a sudden he’s back, so is Felix, and neither one looks happy. ‘Now you’re hassling my sisters?’ Eddie says.

Clemson turns. Smiles. ‘I’m not hassling anyone, old man.’

This is when I realize the vortexes and the watchtower really do work. We’ve become time travelers, sent right back to high school. On cue, our head cheerleader appears.

‘What’s going on?’ Krista says. Not sober. Drinking the same thing as Portia, only hers has Diet Sprite.

‘Nothing,’ I say.

‘Actually, these guys are hassling Beth and Portia,’ Felix says.

Oh no, Felix. No, no, no.

Eddie snorts. ‘That’s because they’re Neanderthals. I mean, they go to Clemson.’

‘Excuse me?’ Clemson says. ‘Where did you –’

‘Duke. I went to Duke.’

Clemson laughs. ‘Well, it all makes sense now. I’ve heard you Duke boys are all inbred.’

The first punch is thrown by Eddie, which is no surprise. His ego – and his anger – always get the best of him, drunk or not. Insulting his alma mater is the easiest way to make Eddie mad enough to hit someone.

But against Clemson, he doesn’t throw the last punch.

The fight ends when a large man steps in and says ‘Chill out’ in a voice that makes everyone stop. Clemson’s friends stop cheering him on, Krista stops screaming, and I stop glaring at Felix long enough to realize those police sirens in the background aren’t coming from a TV.

I can’t blame whoever called them. The watchtower is a place to look for UFOs, not get in a bar fight. And I can’t blame the police officers for being so pissed off, considering it’s Sunday and the Broncos game is on.

Eddie is arrested, along with the Clemson kid. He’s more surprised than any of us. The rest of us go to the tiny local police station and sit in the lobby, waiting to pay whatever the bond is. I turn to Clemson’s friends because I just can’t help myself.

‘Hard to believe this is the first time your friend’s mouth has gotten him arrested,’ I say.

Felix’s jaw drops. So do Clemson’s friends’. One of them, another guy with a beard, calls me a bitch.

I snort. ‘Now I see why the other guy is your leader.’

‘We don’t have a leader.’

‘Oh, okay. Whatever you say.’

Portia laughs. Sometimes we are a family of assholes.

You can blame that on Grandpa, he started it.

The night ends exactly as it should: with Eddie in jail.

We go to bail him out, and we’re met by one of the pissed-off patrolmen who arrested Eddie and Clemson. He’s smiling.

‘Come back in the morning,’ he says. ‘No one’s getting out before a judge sets bail.’