Her body wanted to feel him inside her. Her heart needed to her him say her name.
He pushed inside her. She felt the searing pain as her maidenhood tore, and all reasonable thoughts vanished. Her entire body tensed. He paused, realizing what he’d taken from her.
He began to move inside of her, his movements slow at first but quickly building to a fever pitch.
Raw need pulsed inside her.
Dear Lord, what was he doing to her? Sweat formed between her breasts.
“Wrap your legs around me,” he whispered.
She complied, taking him inside her fully. Her body stretched and molded around him. She didn’t think she could feel more alive. Then he reached for her moist center and began to stroke.
She hissed in a breath. “What are you doing to me?”
“Shh, it’s all right.” He continued to stroke, circling her softness with expert precision. The fever inside of her grew. Her senses reeled. She teetered at the cliff of an unknown abyss.
And then, in a flash, her body exploded in sensations. She moaned and arched her back, letting the ripples wash over her body.
Mr. Barrington withdrew his hand and began to pump harder. And in the next instant, his body tensed and as he found his release, he moaned. “Elise.”
Matthias knew his blunder the instant he’d whispered Elise’s name. A bucket of cold water couldn’t have made Abby’s languid body tense faster. She went rigid.
She pressed her palms against his chest. “Get off me.”
Her voice seemed to come from a very far-off place though her lips were just by his ears.
But as he felt her struggles underneath him grow in strength he forced himself to roll off her.
Immediately, she scrambled out from under him and tugged her nightgown over her legs, now tucked under her. “You called me Elise.”
Lying on his back, he stared up at the barn’s rafters. “It was an accident.”
Tears burned her eyes. “Some accident.”
He stabbed his hands through his hair. “It’s been six years since there’s been another woman.”
Her long hair cascaded over her shoulder draping breasts he’d just suckled. “You don’t want me. You wanted to use my body.”
Though Abby’s body felt nothing like Elise’s, he couldn’t deny her words. A part of him had wanted to resurrect his old love. He tugged up his pants and fastened the four buttons. “I’m sorry.”
Unshed tears glistened in her eyes. “I thought for just a few moments it was just you and me. I was wrong.”
He shoved impatient fingers through his thick hair. “I’m sorry.”
Slowly, she rose. Moonlight cascaded on her gown. That’s when he noticed the streaks of blood. Earlier, he’d felt her tightness, but his befuddled mind hadn’t fully processed the consequences. Now the full weight of his mistake sank in.
She lifted her head high, like a proud warrior goddess. “You win. You were right. I don’t belong here.”
Abby started to move past him. He sprang to his feet and grabbed her arm. She looked up with eyes filled with sorrow and shame.
“It’s not that simple anymore,” he said. Even now, touching her sent desire ricocheting through him.
She jerked her arm free of his hold. “It is for me, Mr. Barrington.”
“I think you should call me Matthias now.”
“I’d rather not.” Her prickly tone reminded him of the first time he’d seen her in the stage—Society Miss.
He stared at the trail of blood on her gown. “I’m sorry.”
She followed his gaze. Her cheeks flamed red, and she covered the fresh spots of blood with her hand.
“I thought you’d been with another man,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You said your reputation was ruined.”
“One does not have to be guilty to be convicted.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, now tight with tension. “I’m sorry.”
She tipped back her head as a tear streamed down her cheek. “Stop saying that.” She started toward the door.
He grabbed her wrist. “Like it or not, we are bound together now.”
“Nothing binds us except business. I’ll stay to the end of the summer or until you can arrange to find someone to take care of the boys.”
He ground his teeth. She wasn’t going anywhere. “You could be pregnant.”
Shock widened her eyes. Her hands flew to her flat belly. For an instant joy flashed in her eyes. “That’s not possible. It was only one time.”
“Once is sufficient,” he said more tersely than he’d intended. “Take my word for it, there could be a baby.”
She shook her head. “There isn’t. I’d know if there was.”
“How the hell would you know? Do you have the second sight?”
She lifted her chin, again the proud city woman. “I just would know.” Wouldn’t she?
Annoyed, he ground his teeth. “Well, I’m glad you’re so all-knowing but you’ll have to excuse me for being a little slower.”
The menace in his voice triggered alarm bells in her. “What are you talking about?”
“Until I know for certain you aren’t pregnant, you’re not going anywhere.”
“I can take care of myself. And my baby if need be.”
His temper held on by a thread. He needed time to think and more time to fix this mess he’d created. “No other man is ever going to raise my child. I take care of my own. You’re not leaving this ranch until I know for certain that you’re not carrying a child.”
“You said you didn’t want any more children!”
“I don’t. But I’ll stand by any I make.”
Her eyes looked wild, desperate. And it tore at him that he’d robbed the sparkle from her eyes.
“You can’t keep me here,” she said.
His resolve, like forged iron, was unbreakable. “Watch me.”
Chapter Twelve
He’d called her Elise!
Still hurt two days later, she stared out the kitchen window watching the boys who were poking a stick in a rabbit hole. She enjoyed the boys and had been growing to love them as her own. But since that night in the barn she’d realized she had been fooling herself. They weren’t her children and never would be. They belonged to Elise. Just as everything else in this blasted cabin belonged to her.
Abby sighed as she ran a soapy washcloth over a tin plate. She had only herself to blame for this mess. Mr. Barrington had been clear about his feelings from the start. He had said he had loved his first wife with all his heart. He had said he didn’t have room in his heart f
or love. But she’d thought if she worked hard enough, hoped hard enough, she could make everything come together. She thought she could change him. How wrong she’d been.
She’d been such a fool.
Tears glistened in her eyes and she tilted her head back so that they wouldn’t spill.
She and Mr. Barrington had barely spoken since that night. He’d left at first light the next morning, determined to track the bear and begin rounding up the horses. He’d told her it could take a day or two before he returned. Reminding her to keep the rifle close, he’d left.
She rinsed the dish and laid it on a drying towel by the sink.
The one ray of hope to rise from this disaster was the possibility of a baby. She imagined cradling the child close, savoring the soft scents of milk. Her baby. She tried to imagine what their child would look like. Likely black hair like Mr. Barrington and the boys. Fair skin.
Someone to love her.
Abby gave herself a mental shake. A baby would also complicate things far too much. A baby would bind her to a man who could never love her. She’d not come looking for love but she realized how much she wanted it now.
She quickly finished the dishes and turned her attention to the rising bowls of dough on the counter. She had two loaves cooling, two baking and three more to set up. Holden’s first coach full of passengers was due sometime today, and she wanted to be ready for him. A thick stew simmered on the stove, and she’d made cheese and butter yesterday.
Abby thought about the hard cash she’d earn today. How much would she make and how long would it be before she could buy a train ticket out of Montana?
“Abby,” Quinn shouted from the door. “The stage is coming.”
Abby glanced out the window. Realizing she still had a few minutes, she quickly shaped the rising dough into loaves and laid them on the rising board. She covered the dough with a tea cloth and wiped her hands on her apron.
She gave the cabin a quick glance to make certain everything was in place. She’d pressed and ironed her grandmother’s tablecloth and set it with the mismatched selection of flatware that Mr. Barrington owned. A chipped mug filled with wild-flowers adorned the center of the table.