I go up on tiptoes and brush my lips across his. “Then you can’t possibly go back to the car and have your men think I didn’t receive a full atonement for my defiance toward their leader.”
“I suppose that would look bad.” He grabs my bottom and squeezes, pulling me close. “And you do need to be punished.”
“Yes. I’ve been a very bad girl. I think I deserve a penance fuck.”
He narrows his eyes. “What do you know about a penance fuck?”
I shrug and try to not wear a smug expression. “Nothing in particular, just sounded like a good suggestion.”
“Come.” He takes my hands from his shoulders, lacing his fingers through mine. He pulls me in the direction of my bedroom. “I have something in mind.”
I don’t mistake the sounds of sex when we pass Ellison’s bedroom. It’s a reminder to keep the noise to a minimum. I don’t want her to know Sin is here. I have no intention of them meeting any time soon.
Once we’re inside my bedroom, I shut the door and lock it.
He’s standing by my bed and I prowl in his direction. I stop once I’m in front of him. My palms on his cheeks, I stare into the chocolate-brown eyes I’ve missed so badly. “I didn’t get to tell you earlier how much I’ve missed you.”
He places his hands on top of mine and presses them harder against his skin. “Our separation was excruciating. So much so I wish to never be parted from you again.”
My heart melts. Sin can sometimes say very harsh things but I don’t think he has any idea how pretty his words can be when he’s softer.
I lace my fingers through the nape of Sin’s hair and pull him closer as I go up onto my tiptoes. Our lips meet and he moves his hands to my lower back, arching my body into his. He’s warm despite the fact that he’s been sitting outside in a car on a cold night.
When I taste his mouth, I know how he and his men have been keeping warm in the car. I lick my tongue over his lips. “Someone’s had Johnnie Walker.” I run my hands up his chest. “And now I think it’s time you had some Bleu MacAllister.”
He scoops me from the floor, wrapping my legs around his waist. I grab his shoulders for support. He holds me that way while we kiss and then lowers me to the bed. He moves over me, stopping when we’re face to face. “Did you really think you could blow into my life like a breeze and roll out like a stone?”
He’s right. That’s exactly what I tried to do. Mission unsuccessful.
“Never run from me again,” he whispers against my ear.
I part my legs and rock against the bulge I feel pressed against me.
“I know you have cuffs. Where do you keep them?”
“My, my. Someone is feeling frisky tonight?” I’m elated as I reach beneath the bed. This is something we’ve not done before.
“You mean these handcuffs?” I spin them around my finger.
“Those are the ones.”
He takes them from me and puts one around my right wrist. He slips the other one through the railing of my headboard and cuffs my free one so my hands are bound over my head. “I didn’t know you were into bondage.”
“I’m not,” he says without a bit of enthusiasm.
“But you want to be?”
“I said I would never harm you, but I didn’t say I wouldn’t punish you.”
Punish. Does he mean that in the hot, sexy way I’m hoping for or in a Fellowship, disciplinarian way? I’m guessing the latter, judging by the scowl on his face.
I tug on the cuffs but it’s no use. I’m securely bound to my iron headboard. “What are you going to do to me, Breck?”
“I’m going to teach you a lesson while reminding you of the task at hand, my sweet Bonny Bleu. Your bondage will be a deterrent to keep you focused on the decision you must make while you learn how it feels to be tied to a bed naked.” He pulls the ties of my robe and the silky fabric falls open. “You handcuffed me to my bed and left me there while you walked out of my life. I’m not over that yet.”
Is he kidding me? That was nothing compared to what he did to me. “Do I need to remind you that you had a fucking gun jabbed into my jaw only moments before I walked out? If anyone has the right to not be over what happened that night, it’s me!”
“I’d just found out the woman I was in love with wasn’t who she said she was. It’s possible I made some bad decisions based on that. Don’t forget that despite your motives, you betrayed me. I’ve been fucking bitter about that. And then you left me handcuffed to the bed after I put down my gun and allowed you to take it.”
“Give me a break. You weren’t handcuffed for that long. I sent Jamie for you as soon as I was on the plane.”
“He didn’t get your message. Bad cellular service, I suppose.”
Oh God. I remember it was storming that night. “Then who freed you?”
“Agnes.”
I burst into laughter. “Oh. My. Gawd.”
“It wasn’t funny, Bleu.”
I can see he’s getting pissed off all over again but I can’t stop laughing. “No, you’re right. It’s freakin’ hilarious.”
“I was cuffed to the bed for twelve hours.”
Oh, shit. Twelve hours is a really long time. I was almost back in the US by the time he was freed. I feel horrid about that. “I’m sorry, Breck. That wasn’t the way I meant for that to go. But it must’ve been quite the show for Agnes.”
“I was quite naked by the time she came to clean the next morning. I’d struggled and squirmed trying to get free and lost the bed sheet.” The view probably thrilled that old lady. “Maybe I should leave you like this for your sister to discover so you can find out how humiliating it is.”
“Please, don’t. I wouldn’t have an explanation to give her.”
“You wouldn’t tell her your soon-to-be husband left you this way?”
He’s so sure I’m going to say yes. “I haven’t agreed to marry you.” Yet.
“Of course you haven’t. Instead of thinking about our future, you’ve been busy thinking of how to strong-arm me into your bed.”
“That’s not true. I’ve given it a lot of thought in the two hours since you asked.”
“Then tell me your thoughts so far.”
I yank on the handcuffs holding me hostage. “I don’t want to have a serious conversation while I’m bound to the bed.”
“Tough. You’re staying this way until I decide to release you.”
I want to scream—and I would if my sister wouldn’t come running into the room. “You are frustrating the fuck out of me right now.”
“Aye. I know.” The bastard is laughing at me again. He does that far too often.
“I was taught right from wrong and raised with morals. I’m not sure how I’ll deal with my newfound Fellowship family.”
He’s laughing. Again. “Bleu. We met because you were trying to kill my father. I’m sorry but that completely calls your principles into question.”
Okay. I can see where he might find that concern laughable. “I know. I’m the pot calling the kettle black.”
“You should never worry about being asked to go against any morals you may have. As my wife, you’d never be expected to dirty your hands.”
“But that could be a problem as well. I don’t want to do nothing. I would need to be productive. I’d go mad as a stay-at-home wife.”
“All right. That part is negotiable. What other things have you given thought?”
This one could be a deal-breaker for him. “I’m not sure I want to bring children into a world where lying, stealing, and murder is acceptable. I want them to understand right from wrong.”
“You act as though we have no scruples, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. We have strict codes and beliefs in place. Family and honor mean everything to us. Our children would be taught the value of life. I don’t think you can say that about a lot of kids in the world.”
Let’s see what he has to say about this. “Men in leadership roles tend to have mistresses. I won?
?t put up with that.”
“You’re the only woman for me, Bonny. Ever.”
“What about my sister’s safety?”
“The blanket of protection over you would extend to her. She won’t be hurt.”
I don’t agree. Even if no one physically harms her, she’s going to be hurt if I leave her. “If I become one of you, she—nor my father—can know.”
“Bleu. You’re failing to understand something. Even if you don’t agree to be my wife, you’re already one of us. Your initiation is long-standing. It will never be undone.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.” He’s right. I’m bound to The Fellowship. They aren’t going to let me go.
“Back to your concerns about your family. Your sister will never know anything about The Fellowship. It’s safer that way. But that also means she’ll never visit us in Edinburgh. We can’t risk her being caught in the middle of Fellowship business and learning who and what we are. We’ll always come to the US to see her. And that could be few and far between after I become leader. I won’t be able to leave often.”
I’ll gain Sin but lose Ellison. “I can’t leave my sister.”
“You will. Because you love her and want to keep her safe.”
This isn’t fair. “I want her shielded from danger but I don’t want to give up seeing her.”
“You’ll still see her—just not frequently. But you can talk to her as often as you want. Every day, if you like.”
“It won’t be the same. How would you feel if you couldn’t see Mitch?” That’s probably not the greatest example since Sin and Mitch don’t have a close relationship like Ellison and I do. “Scratch that. How would you feel if you couldn’t see Jamie and Leith?”
“I wouldn’t like it but I’d do it if that’s what ensured their safety.”
I’m suddenly wrecked by the realization of what has to happen. And it’s all my fault. I brought this upon myself.
My wrists remain imprisoned above my head so I turn my face into my upper arm. I don’t want Sin to see my ugly cry.
“Don’t, Bleu. You know I can’t stand to see you cry.”