Endurance (The Sin Trilogy 4)

She tugs on my hand and we hang back a little from Ani as she leads us up the staircase. “Your bullshit is magnificent, Doc. You almost convinced me that we were getting married.”

“Learned from the best, babe.” Abram Breckenridge was the master of deceit—until he wasn’t—and it all came crumbling down around the bastard.

My father was a narcissist who cared only about himself and his own well-being. He wanted me to rise to the top of The Fellowship ladder—because it was a reflection upon him. He taught me a lot from a very early age, but the biggest lesson I learned was that I didn’t want to be like him.

I’ve wanted to be a doctor my entire life. Most parents would be incredibly proud of a child with that kind of goal. Not my father. He was furious when I approached Thane about going to medical school as my contribution. He thought Abram Breckenridge’s son was above that.

My dad was a total arsehole and he doesn’t deserve a minute of my thoughts.

“And this is the master suite. Very spacious. I think it would easily accommodate a king bed if you like something a little bigger.”

“My fiancée definitely likes bigger. She prefers a king size.” Had to say it. Couldn’t resist.

Ellison’s eyes widen and she squeezes my hand as she mouths, “Stop.”

It’s impossible to contain my laughter. “Come on, love. You know you do.”

“You’re right, dear. And I also like them firm. Soft just doesn’t do it for me.” Oh, this woman. She is cheeky.

Fellowship women are different. I don’t know one who would go toe to toe with me in a battle of wits. Ellison will. She doesn’t hesitate, and I adore that about her.

Ani moves to the window and pulls back the drape. “Stunning view of the loch from here.”

I need to be alone with Ellison so we can speak openly about the house and whether it fits our needs. “Could we have a minute to look around on our own?”

“Absolutely. Explore as long as you like. Find me in the kitchen when you’re finished.”

“Thank you.”

Ellison playfully punches me in the arm after Ani is gone. “Jerk.”

“What did I do?” I shrug and act as though I have no idea why she’s perturbed.

“I like bigger? I prefer king size?” She giggles like a schoolgirl as she repeats my words. “I can’t believe you said that in front of the real estate agent.”

“Am I wrong?”

“We aren’t here to discuss my preference in cocks. Especially in front of Ani.”

“Ellison. I was talking about the bed. Your mind is filled with rubbish.”

She punches me again, this time in the chest. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?”

“Well, you did tell me last night that I was brilliant.”

“I take it back.”

Ellison goes to the window and pulls the drape away for a better view. “Ani’s right. It is lovely here. I bet the sun rising behind that mountain is beautiful in the morning.”

“We could find out together.” I have no difficulties seeing me waking with her next to me in this bedroom.

“We could . . . if I were to say yes.” If. That isn’t a yes. Yet.

“Tell me what it’ll take for you to say yes.”

She smiles but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She looks pained. “Change the proposal.”

Ellison thinks she’s the only one who hurts when I say that I can’t claim her. She’s wrong. I despise telling her those words as much as she hates hearing them.

I take her hand and pull her over to the bed. “Sit.”

I lower myself to kneel between her legs and place my hands on top of her thighs. “Forget about the proposition and imagine us in this room falling asleep together, waking together, and everything in between.”

My words trigger a true smile this time. “I really like the sound of that, Doc. Especially the everything in between part.”

“I like the sound of it too.” I rub my hands up and down the tops of her legs. “We would be so good together . . . Mac.”

Her smile broadens. “I like hearing you call me Mac. Everyone else always uses Elle or Elli.”

“Say yes, and I’ll call you Mac all the time.”

She’s thinking about it. I can almost see the thoughts Ping-Ponging behind her green eyes.

I lower my head and press my forehead to her lap while I grasp her hips. “I’m picturing you on the edge of my bed, just like you are now, but naked. I push you down and put your feet on my shoulders so I can bury my face between your legs. I already know how good you’re going to taste.”

“Stop.”

I don’t stop. “I lick you and suck you until you shatter into a million pieces while you say my name.”

“Do I call you Doc or Jamie when you make me come?” Her voice is soft. Breathless.

“Doc. That’s who I am to you behind closed doors.”

She pushes her fingers into the back of my hair and massages my scalp. I imagine her doing the same thing when I go down on her. “You are working me hard to get a yes.”

“Because I want you—us—so badly.” If only I could ask you for forever.

“Say. Yes.” I lift my head and grab her free hand, bringing it to my mouth for a kiss. “Please, Mac.”

“You’ll get your answer on the proposition tonight, Doc. But it’s a no on this house. The layout doesn’t work.”

My smart, beautiful Ellison. I’ll take a no on the house, but I have no intention of accepting anything but a firm yes where she and I are concerned. She will be mine and I’ll do whatever it takes to convince her. I just need to be sure I’ll be enough for her.

Ellison stands in the hallway leading to the guest bedrooms on the first floor. She looks from one door to the next. “This layout works better than the first two houses we looked at. You’d have four patient care rooms on the ground floor. That will be far more convenient than putting them upstairs, which is what you’d have to do with the other houses.”

Patients with lacerations and gunshot wounds can’t climb a flight of stairs so those first two are definitely out of the running.

“The master suite is completely separate from the area where you’d see patients. That would be nice. I’m sure you’ll want this to feel like a home when you’re not working.”

We’ve been at this all day—and I still have no indication of which way she’s leaning. I’m tired of waiting. I know I gave her until tonight, but I want her answer now. And I’m going to get it.

“There isn’t a second bedroom upstairs. The only way this house will accommodate my needs is if you say yes to my proposal and share the master suite with me.”

“And what about your needs a month from now? If I say yes, what will you do after I’m gone? Will you share the upstairs bedroom with Adaira?”

She’s jealous. “I won’t be able to bear sharing that room with another woman after you. Every moment will be so unforgettable that I’ll be ruined for every other woman.”

A month with Ellison. Surely, I’ll know by the end of our time together if there’s any possible way to make us work.

“Wow. Your bullshit just keeps getting better and better today.”

“It’s not bullshit, Mac.”

I look at my watch and note it’s after five o’clock. Technically she has a couple more hours but I’m done waiting. “Your time is up.”

“It’s a huge decision—one I’m not taking lightly. I’m still weighing the pros and cons.”

“Let’s go upstairs and have another look at the master suite while we discuss your pros and cons list.”

I follow Ellison up the winding staircase, watching her arse sway back and forth with each step. I think she’s doing that shite on purpose.

I love it.

I grasp her hips and guide her to walk backward until I’ve pinned her against the wall. “Has your list of cons gotten longer since we spoke last night?”

“Perhaps.”

“Al

l right. I have a challenge for you . . . if you’re game.”

“What kind of challenge?”

“Go down your list of cons one at a time and allow me the opportunity to counter them with a pro. If you have one con I can’t dispute with a reasonable argument, then we’ll forget I ever made the proposition. Agreed?”

She nods. “Okay.”

“Go.” I slowly move my hands up the sides of her body and lean in closer to graze the skin along her neck with my lips. But she says nothing.

“I said go. Now.” Might as well give her a small taste of what’s to come if she says yes.

She tilts her head to the side, giving me full access to her neck. “It will be painful when we part ways.” If I get my way, we’ll never part.

I suck her earlobe into my mouth and gently tug it with my teeth. “Being apart is already painful.”

“You want to fuck me for a month. That makes me feel like a whore.”

I pull away and look at her. Stunned. “That was never my intention.”

Hearing her say that I’ve made her feel like a whore guts me. I can’t stand knowing I’ve done that to her.

I move my palms to her cheeks and cradle her face so we’re eye to eye. “I want to show you love for as long as fate will allow me to do so. Giving me that honor doesn’t make you a whore. Not even a little.”

Her eyes are so sad. It breaks my heart. “You’re going to let another man have me when we’re over.”

I haven’t worked it out yet but I’m going to do everything within my power to keep her. But I can’t tell her that right now. “I would hand you over to a capable person who has the ability to keep you safe if that were in your best interest. There’s a difference.”